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1. A Satysfyer Pro 2, a touch-free clit stimulator with super-cool vacuum technology for an intense end to their ~private time~. Who needs oral when you have this, baby?
2. A waterproof wand vibe thousands of people swear by. This babe can give "wetting the bed" a whole new meaning 😏.
3. A super quiet and smooth vibrator for when they really don't want to alarm their roommates but they have an...itch that really needs to be scratched.
4. A glass candy cane dildo so they can have some sweet, sweet orgasms. 'Tis the season!
5. A We-Vibe capable of multiple cosmic, G-spot orgasms so you and your partner can spice things up when you're together or apart.
6. A bulky G-spot rabbit with seven modes of vibration to take them to the high heavens and back again.
7. A truly magical magic wand. Not only does it get the hard-to-reach kinks out of their back, but it will literally have them reaching a peak where tears come out of their eyes. It's THAT good, y'all.
8. A strapless strap-on vibrator because there's no reason for them not to get it on with their partner while having a squirting O at the same damn time.
9. A candy cane vibe, because they definitely want to be on the nice list this year, especially if the nice list includes multiple orgasms.
10. A fancy rabbit vibe with eight different speeds and sensations for that double orgasm they've been waiting for.
11. A pretty penguin clit vibrator with 11 different modes to drive them crazy, because penguins mate for life and their private parts aren't excluded.
12. A simple velvet touch vibe they can use for clitoral or vaginal stimulation. A jack of all trades and the master of their orgasm!
13. A discrete necklace vibe to wear at every holiday party just in case they feel like getting a little frisky.
14. A "butterfly kiss" massager that'll gently but consistently press upon their sensitive bits until they say stop. A Merry Christmas, indeed.
15. A bow costume so their lover can view them as a snack they definitely wanna eat.
16. A Fleshlight to jack into till the crows come home, because it's the magnum opus to penis owners everywhere.
17. An adjustable thigh spreader, because who has time to buss it wide open when they'll have this to do it for them?
18. A clitoral vibe with 10 different settings and five intensities so they can hum and moan all night, since they love variety.
19. A bullet-like vibe with a flat tip for maximum clit stimulation that'll confirm Kiki in fact, DOES love them and likes taking them to their next orgasm.
20. An oral sex stimulator, because it isn't just foreplay, you heathens, it's the main event. Multiple orgasms are just a vibration away!
21. A fingertip vibrator they can fit in their pocket or purse just in case they're up for a little exhibitionist action, like Janet Jackson in "Any Time, Any Place."
22. A kinky handcuff and blindfold set for when they wanna get their 50 Shades of Grey on in real time.
23. A beginner's strap-on your friend and their partner can enjoy... together. It even has a flared base for a little backdoor action.
24. A lipstick massager complete with multiple speed patterns they can absolutely take on vacation to make it even more ~relaxing~.
Let's hope they make more moans than Moaning Myrtle!
Looking for more ~pleasure~? Check out the best sex toys you can get on Amazon, the best places to buy all kinds of sex toys online, the best vibrators you can get online, and sex toys that will make you squirt.
Reviews here have been edited for length and/or clarity.