Posted on Jan 16, 2022

38 Legendary Sitcom Characters Ranked By How Poorly They Would Handle The Pandemic

Carlton Banks from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air would try so hard to be chill, but, alas.

by Hope Lasater

BuzzFeed Contributor

Michael says, "I want to see Eleanor Shellstrop's file, is that what you have or do you have a cactus" Janet says, "I have Eleanor Shellstrop's file, I do not have a cactus," Michael says, "Excellent, please, give me the file" and Janet hands him a cactus

Nick says, I will push if I wanna push, and then when he can't get the door open he yells, I hate doooors

Dwight says, I wish I could menstruate, If I could menstruate, I wouldn’t have to deal with idiotic calendars anymore, I’d just be able to count down from my previous cycle, plus, I’d be more in tune with the moon and the tides

Holt says, I have been asked to deliver a toast here after the funeral, a message of hope, this is what I have so far, Paaaaiiiinnnnnnn, thats it

Melissa says, Phoebe, were you ever in a sorority, and Phoebe says, Of course, yeah, I was, uh, um, Thi Mega Tampon

Jason says, "I don't know, this plan seems complicated," Eleanor says, "To be fair, you also once said that about an orange," and Jason says, "They don’t make sense, apples, you eat their clothes, but oranges, you don't"

Michael shows his tattoo on his arm and says, "It's Chinese for Japan"

Cece says to Jess, Did you wash your hair, it looks really clean, and all of the women around gasp, including Jess

Joey says, "Monday, one day, Tuesday, two day, Wednesday, when, huh, what day, Thursday, the third day"

While she's cutting Chandler's hair, Kathy says You have really great hair, and Chandler says, Well thanks, I grow it myself

Coach says, I'm gonna make a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, ew, why do you say moist, I hate that word, I'm gonna be like, Just taste the cake, and they're gonna be like, Damn, it's moist

Eleanor says, "I used to think about how it's weird they don't make pants that are just one big pant leg for both your legs," Chidi says, "You mean a skirt," and Eleanor says, "No, you're not getting it and my thing is different, so shut up"

Rachel says, Okay, I will have the side salad, the server says, And what would that be on the side of, and Rachel says, I don't know, why don't you just put it right here next to my water

Pam says, Finally, I want to thank God, because God gave me this Dundie, and I feel God in this Chili's tonight

Jess says, I'm so far off the grid that everybody's all, she's off the grid, and then I'm all, I don't play by your rules, I can drink at 11, A M

Carlton says, It gave me nightmares, witnessing an injustice like that, it was a constant reminder of how unfair this world can be, I can still hear them taunting him, Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids, How come they just could not give him some cereal

Monica asks, So we're back on, Carol says, We're back on, and Monica says, You heard the woman, PEEL, CHOP, DEVIL

Tahani says, I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Pippa Middleton right before we went paragliding in Gibraltar, Let's go, then when everyone gives her looks she says, What, it's what I said

Ross says, "I think you reach a certain age having a roommate is just kind of pathe..." Rachel and Monica look at each other and Joey and Chandler look at each other, and Ross says, "that's pathet, which is Sanskrit for 'really cool way to live'"

Winston says, I've been broken up with so many times in many different places, multiple parks, coffee shops, Santa's lap, kitchen stadium on Iron Chef, airplanes, in economy, economy select, economy comfort, platinum economy, while covered in butterflies

Chidi sings, You put the Peeps in the chili pot and eat them both up, you put the Peeps in the chili pot and add the M&amp;Ms, you put the Peeps in the chili pot, it makes it taste bad

Kelly says, Well, I manage my department, and I’ve been doing that for several years now, and, god, I’ve learned a lot of life lessons along the way, Jim says, Your department’s just you, right, and Kelly says, Yes Jim, but I am not easy to manage

A child says, A white man broke in today, Schmidt says, A white man, no, well, what did security do about it, the child says, Nothing, and Schmidt yells, Typical

Michael says, I know a fair amount about fine food and drink, then he sniffs his white wine and says, This is a white

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