1. A teenager will be arrested for doing something utterly baffling and strange.
2. Scots will troll Donald Trump, either in person, on Twitter, or by pissing on his things.
3. Political opinions will be expressed through graffiti.
4. The weather will be shite all summer...
"Ach, it's just a wee bit of wind."
5. ...but people will go to the beach anyway.
And force themselves to enjoy it because it's "summer".
6. A Glasgow café will introduce a weird version of a munchie box that no one wanted or asked for.
We've had breakfast munchie boxes, salad munchie boxes, dessert munchie boxes...what's next: munchie boxes full of soup? Enough with this shite now.
7. And hipsters will fuck around with our food.
8. Cows will continue to fuck shit up.
9. And so will the nation's nans.
10. Mums will get drunk.
11. And dads will be inappropriate.
The horror.
12. Ruth Davidson will sit on something strange.
To prove that she is Not Like Other Tories!!!!!!!!!
13. And Nicola Sturgeon will roast the fuck out of UKIP and Nigel Farage.
14. A total numpty will try to rob a shop using an unlikely item, like a shoe, a fork, or a loaf of bread.
And it will not work.
15. Neds will continue to invent new, exciting sports.
It's nice to see young people enjoying the outdoors and making their own entertainment.
16. At least one person will get stuck in a bin.
They will probably be from Aberdeen.
17. And in December, Santa will be arrested. Again.
