1. Starting this chant before an event.
2. Eating hot chips on a cold beach.
3. Swearing.
4. Getting back to Scotland after being in London.
This time in two weeks I will be sat on my sofa at home with a nice cup of tea made with nice Scottish tap water.
Why does London tap water taste like it's been passed through five million kidneys repeatedly...oh. Yeah, it has.
5. Drinking the ginger nectar through a twirly straw.
6. Scottish Plain with loads of butter.
7. England crashing out of the World Cup.
8. The modest joy of a 10p mix.
9. And biting into one of these blasts from the past.
10. Seeing sweary, witty, political Scottish graffiti.
11. And Scottish politicians roasting their rivals.
12. Firing into a full Scottish breakfast when you've got a total bastard of a hangover.
13. Hotel porridge with shitloads of cream.
14. Finding the elusive, perfect roll and slice.
15. Getting stuff for free, particularly whisky.
16. Seeing Scotland in a film.
17. The blessed day when it's finally warm enough to sit outside.
18. Driving past the forest on the M74 that looks like a giant cock and balls.
The penis forest we seen on way scotland hah
Phwoar.
19. And, of course, scotch pie and beans.
If you don't constantly have this song running through your head, you're not Scottish.