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19 Reasons Americans Should Move To Scotland If Trump Is Elected

Why would you move to Canada? Scotland and America are almost the same country.

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1. Firstly, your ancestors are all from here anyway.

Come, reclaim your lost lands! We've moved away from the Highlands because we wanted to be able to get Ocado home delivery, so there's plenty of space.
en.wikipedia.org / Creative Commons

Come, reclaim your lost lands! We've moved away from the Highlands because we wanted to be able to get Ocado home delivery, so there's plenty of space.

2. And we don't do weird stuff to our chips.

en.wikipedia.org / Creative Commons
Flickr: tabsinthe / Creative Commons

If you move to Canada, you'll have to eat poutine, which – if photographic evidence is to be believed – is burnt fries with sick and gravy. In Scotland, our chips are big fluffy, golden-brown and, crucially, covered in salt and vinegar, not vomit.

3. We share your approach to portion sizes.

This is a munchy box, and it serves one person. It contains all the five major food groups: Meat, grease, batter, red stuff, and onions.
imgur.com

This is a munchy box, and it serves one person. It contains all the five major food groups: Meat, grease, batter, red stuff, and onions.

4. And we love deep-fried food just as much as you do.

imgur.com / BuzzFeed
imgur.com / BuzzFeed

You guys deep-fry lasagne, we regularly deep-fry pizza. It's a match made in heaven.

5. Scotland is much, much less cold than Canada.

Instagram: @colvster

Aye, it gets a bit baltic in winter, but not -40°C, ground-explodingly baltic. You can just put a jumper on and you'll be fine.

6. Plus if you do get a wee bit nippy, you can just head to the pub for a winter warmer.

Instagram: @rossi4u

Buckfast is a delightful, complex, and invigorating tonic wine, which lightens the spirits and cures all that ails ye. But don't drink too much or you'll go blind.

7. If you move here, you'll be much further away from Donald Trump.

Scotland is over 4,000 miles away from the continental U.S., unlike Canada, which actually touches it. Where would you rather be when Dictator Trump's stormtroopers swarm across the border to claim Canada as the 51st state?
Google Maps / BuzzFeed

Scotland is over 4,000 miles away from the continental U.S., unlike Canada, which actually touches it. Where would you rather be when Dictator Trump's stormtroopers swarm across the border to claim Canada as the 51st state?

8. Plus we've pretty much banned him from coming to the country if he gets elected.

Well, he's banned from Screw It in Callander, anyway, plus Nicola Sturgeon joined calls to have him banned from the entire UK. It'll be a Trump-free zone.
dailyrecord.co.uk / Creative Commons

Well, he's banned from Screw It in Callander, anyway, plus Nicola Sturgeon joined calls to have him banned from the entire UK. It'll be a Trump-free zone.

9. Fuck maple syrup: We use whisky as a condiment.

Instagram: @zitazq

We even put it on our porridge in the morning, because we're that awesome.

10. We don't have any bears, wolves, or other species that could kill you.

In fact, nothing in Scotland will ever try to eat you. Apart from the midges, obviously. And (occasionally) the seagulls, but only in Aberdeen. So avoid Aberdeen.

11. In fact, our wildlife is much more relaxed in general.

please display baby seal on dashboard. if you lose your baby seal you will have to pay for a full day of parking.

Don't leave your car door open though; it's really hard to get rid of a seal infestation.

12. You like rude number plates? So do we!

You'll grow to love the word "bawbag" if you move here, by the way.

13. And we pretty much share a sense of humour.

Especially when it comes to undermining official signs.

14. You'll enjoy our approach to drinking.

In Canada, they have half a bottle of Molson Dry, apologise, say "eh", then go home. Here, every day's an excuse for a rager. Pass the Buckfast.
Imgur.com

In Canada, they have half a bottle of Molson Dry, apologise, say "eh", then go home. Here, every day's an excuse for a rager. Pass the Buckfast.

15. We're just as sweary as you are, unlike Canadians.

Flickr: missrogue / Creative Commons / BuzzFeed
Twitter: @pikapies / BuzzFeed
If you go to Canada, you'll just end up apologising for your bad language all the time. Although at least saying "sorry" every five minutes means you'll fit in.
imgur.com / BuzzFeed

If you go to Canada, you'll just end up apologising for your bad language all the time. Although at least saying "sorry" every five minutes means you'll fit in.

16. And we have a similar approach to fighting terrorism.

The U.S. Marines forgot to boot their terrorist in the balls though. Rookie error.

17. Both of our countries have excellent buy-one-get-one-free offers.

You really will feel right at home.

18. And we believe in freedom just as much as you do.

Giphy / 20th Century Fox

Although we're not quite as good at gaining independence from English rule as you are. We're still working on it though.

19. And, most importantly of all, Scottish milk doesn't come in fucking bags.

Have you seriously thought about how you'd cope with this travesty if you moved to Canada? Don't do it to yourselves, guys. Come to Bonnie Scotland instead.
mklutz.tumblr.com

Have you seriously thought about how you'd cope with this travesty if you moved to Canada? Don't do it to yourselves, guys. Come to Bonnie Scotland instead.