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The Ultimate Scottish Citizenship Test

If you pass, you get a free education and some whisky.

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  1. 1. What is our most iconic national drink made from?

    Irn-Bru.co.uk
    Sunset Yellow FCF and Ponceau 4R
    Via
    Sunset Yellow FCF and Ponceau 4R
    Via
    Girders
    Via
    Girders
    Via
    Caffeine
    Via
    Caffeine
    Via
    All of the above
    Via Thinkstock
    All of the above
    Via Thinkstock
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Correct answer: All of the above

    Well, by girders they mean: "0.002% ammonium ferric citrate." But girders sounds better.

    Correct answer: All of the above Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
    Via The Leith Agency / Giphy
  2. 2. Help Tyra out: What does jobby mean?

    Fart
    Penis
    Poo
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Correct answer: Poo

    Oh, Tyra.

    Correct answer: Poo
    Via youtube.com
  3. 3. Complete the phrase: "The name 'Tonic Wine' does not imply..."

    amazon.ca
    "That it won't cause liver damage."
    "That you'll definitely be able to fuck fast."
    "Health-giving or medicinal properties."
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Correct answer: "Health-giving or medicinal properties."

    And it certainly isn't something you just "relax with" either, no matter what this vintage advert says.

    Correct answer: "Health-giving or medicinal properties."
    Via Twitter: @dailyedge
  4. 4. Which of these is not a real Scottish drunk food?

    Munchy box
    Via imgur.com
    Munchy box
    Via imgur.com
    Pizza crunch
    Via Flickr: jaredearle / Creative Commons
    Pizza crunch
    Via Flickr: jaredearle / Creative Commons
    Parmo
    Via Flickr: pritch / Creative Commons
    Parmo
    Via Flickr: pritch / Creative Commons
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Correct answer: Parmo

    Although deliciously unhealthy, parmo is definitely a North of England concoction. Well done to them, though.

    Correct answer: Parmo
    Via Flickr: pritch / Creative Commons
  5. 5. What is this man called?

    imgur.com
    Craig Ferguson
    Alex Salmond
    John Smeaton
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Correct answer: John Smeaton

    He helped neutralise the 2007 Glasgow Airport terror attack, then famously said: "This is Glasgow. We'll set about ye." Legend.

    Correct answer: John Smeaton Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
    Via youtube.com
  6. 6. Pick the correct outline of mainland Scotland:

    Via
    Via
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Correct answer: 3

    Pro tip: If it looks like it has a penis or it's doing a wee jig, it's not Scotland.

    Correct answer: 3
    Via commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons
  7. 7. Complete this famous put-down by Frankie Boyle.

    Twitter: @frankieboyle
    dog, hot car.
    daughter, pub.
    heart, cryogenic chamber.
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Correct answer: "You left your daughter in a pub."

    We love Frankie.

    Correct answer: "You left your daughter in a pub."
    Via mirror.co.uk
  8. 8. Which politician tweeted these comments in 2010?

    twitter.com
    The Right Honourable David Mundell WS MP
    First Minister Nicola Sturgeon
    Mhairi Black
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Correct answer: Mhairi Black

    The UK's youngest MP since the 1800s was only 15 when she wrote them though, so that's fair enough.

    Correct answer: Mhairi Black
    Via Twitter: @thestooshie
  9. 9. Which divisive figure owns the Menie Estate in Aberdeen?

    commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons
    Katie Hopkins
    Via Channel 4
    Katie Hopkins
    Via Channel 4
    Donald Trump
    Via en.wikipedia.org
    Donald Trump
    The Dark Lord Voldemort
    Via Warner Bros.
    The Dark Lord Voldemort
    Via Warner Bros.
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Correct answer: Donald Trump

    Although we'd prefer Voldemort tbh.

    Correct answer: Donald Trump
    Via Swns.com / HEMEDIASWNS.com / buzzfeed.com
  10. 10. If you add up all the times The Proclaimers say "500 Miles" in "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)", how many miles do you get?

    Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
    youtube.com
    1,000 miles
    10,000 miles
    4,000 miles
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Correct answer: 4,000 miles

    That's a lot of miles they'd be willing to walk in order to fall down at your door. Bless 'em.

    Correct answer: 4,000 miles Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
    Via BBC / Giphy
  11. 11. Which precious, delicious snack did Greggs ditch in 2015?

    Macaroni pie
    Via Twitter: @Scotsfox
    Macaroni pie
    Steak roll
    Via greggs.co.uk
    Steak roll
    Empire biscuit
    Via en.wikipedia.org
    Empire biscuit
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Correct answer: Macaroni pie

    And we're still very fucking angry about it.

    Correct answer: Macaroni pie
    Via express.co.uk
  12. 12. Which Scottish football team has this...thing as a mascot?

    en.wikipedia.org / Creative Commons
    Dundee United
    Heart of Midlothian
    Partick Thistle
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Correct answer: Partick Thistle

    He was designed by Glasgow artist David Shrigley, and he's terrifying. Here he is chasing some children.

    Correct answer: Partick Thistle Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
    Via youtube.com / BuzzFeed
  13. 13. Which of these is the real Tunnock's Teacake?

    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Correct answer: The one on the right

    The one on the left is a Lees Teacake, which contains (urgh) jam. A foul impostor, in other words.

    Correct answer: The one on the right
    Via biscuiteers.com
  14. 14. And finally, which town put up this welcoming sign in 2015?

    Twitter: @johnandlouie
    Motherwell
    Larkhall
    Don't know, but John Smeaton probably lives there.
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Correct answer: Larkhall

    They'll set about ye.

    Correct answer: Larkhall
    Via Twitter: @johnandlouie

The Ultimate Scottish Citizenship Test

You failed!

Oh boy, you really don't know much about Scotland. Have a teacake or two, listen to The Proclaimers, prevent a terrorist attack, then try again.

You failed!
en.wikipedia.org
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No Scottish passport for you.

You're pretty knowledgeable about Scotland, but sadly you just missed out. Maybe you should do some intensive teacake research and try again?

No Scottish passport for you.
ebay.co.uk
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You passed with flying colours!

You're more Scottish than a herd of John Smeatons being chased by Kingsley. If we had actual citizenship tests, you'd definitely pass. Well done!

You passed with flying colours!
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