1. This is how you reacted whenever you found out you were going to Alton Towers as a kid.
2. You'll buy any product - no matter how unpalatable - if it has a 2 for 1 entry voucher on the label.
3. You have a recurring nightmare about arriving too late to go on any of the rides...
4. Which is why you always force everyone to get up at 3am on the day of your trip...
5. You run like the wind as soon as you arrive.
6. You own about 25 of these.
7. You wish your garden had a 'projectile vomiting frog' water feature like the one on Towers Street.
8. You plan every visit as strategically as a military commander.
9. You spend an extra hour queueing up for the front two seats on Rita: Queen of Speed...
10. You feel like you have to go on Oblivion, despite the fact it's terrifying and you're not sure you enjoy it.
11. This is your Facebook profile pic.
12. You created a Change.org petition dedicated to bringing back the teacup ride.
13. You have a copy of every version of the park map dating back to 1981.
14. You miss the Swan Boats so much that you bought one on eBay.
15. This is how you react when you hear the 'Alton Towers music' on TV adverts.
16. You refuse to call this ride 'The Blade'.
17. You once got mild whiplash on the Corkscrew...
18. Unlike most people, you actually visit the gardens.
19. You own a keyring version of this guy.
20. You love Nemesis so much you would live on it - and eat all your meals on it- if you could.
21. By the end of the day, your feet are so sore you finally agree to use the Skyride...
Final note: by 'largest', we're referring to the physical size of the park (800 acres), rather than the number of rides. Blackpool Pleasure Beach has slightly more, but none of them are as good as the Squirrel Nutty Treetop Adventure.
Your move, Pleasure Beach.