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16 Reasons Why Tall People Are Better Prepared For The Apocalypse

Our daily struggle is preparation enough for the end of the world. The end is (Bill) Nigh(y).

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4. We can reach the last can of tinned food on the otherwise entirely wiped-out shelf.

Beauty and the Beast / Disney

All those hours helping old ladies in Sainsburys were leading to you enjoying some tinned peaches with a small boy you've adopted as your apocalypse son.


6. Basically, we're just way better at adapting.

Rambo: First Blood / Orion Pictures / Via

When we loot the shop for shoes and they only have size 7s we will MacGyver an alternative because we fucking knew this would happen, it fucking always happens.

8. We can win an argument simply by standing up.

Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigalo / Touchstone Pictures / Via BuzzFeed

We will be appointed leaders of our respective apocalypse tribes because no one will want to fight us.


10. We're so used to people saying "So, what's the weather like up there?" that we can spot who's gonna be a dick in like five seconds.

Orange Is The New Black / Netflix / Via

Your apocalypse team will be the crème de la crème. No filler.


16. And finally, The Jeff Goldblum Tall Person Apocalypse Survival Theory. It goes like this: