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    Posted on May 12, 2017

    21 Makeup Tutorials That Will Make You Ashamed To Be Human

    Throw away your brushes and introduce a dildo to your makeup routine.

    by ,

    1. Wow ok, so we're just wasting the earth's beautiful offerings for the sake of contour now?

    2. These pumkin spice nails using actual pumpkin spice is just about as authentic as it gets.

    3. We're apparently using forks to hold our eyebrows down now because maybe they have a habit of just... leaving your face.

    4. Using shaving gel to take off your makeup will give you that Santa Claus look you've always been after.

    5. And if that wasn't enough apparently tampons make for a great beauty blender because you know, they vouch for their absorbent abilities just by existing.

    6. If you desire a swamp creature look then you should follow this tutorial.

    7. What better way to look like 500 bucks than using Louboutin heels to apply your makeup.

    8. This is where makeup gets really meta: If you contour with a boiled egg then you avoid looking like a boiled egg, duh!

    9. This seems counterproductive but ok.

    10. Sure, a beauty blender is only £16 in Boots but you don't really get the same effect unless it's replica genitalia.

    11. Don't play with your food, unless it's a cherry and then you can apply your blush with it.

    12. You ever look at a piece of broccoli and think about how the texture would make for a perfect makeup brush? No? Well you will now.

    13. Condoms are the next big thing in makeup application.

    14. Because makeup is all about being resourceful, you should always just use whatever is closest like your computer monitor or a dildo.

    can y'all please stop disrespecting the beauty blender.. leave her alone

    15. This poor loaf of bread had the potential of becoming Nutella on toast or a beautiful grilled cheese. Little did it know it's fate would be this...

    16. If you apply cheetos to your face, you officially withdraw your right to complain about any future breakouts.

    17. 100 layers of foundation is just the right amount if you want to look like a human trapped in a doll's body.

    18. Why wear one coat of liquid lipstick when you can wear 100 coats and get that perfect crusty lip?

    19. Incorporate your love of rose gold in your life by making your iPhone a crucial part of your makeup routine.

    20. And if you feel like your bra is just too supportive you can always take the insert out and use it on your face.

    21. Want a good green tea face mask? Well you're in luck because the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle look is totally in for spring/summer 2017.

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