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    50 "New Girl" Jokes That Prove Season 2 Is A Perfect Season Of Television

    "I don't like it. It's too much responsibility."

    New Girl is one of my favorite shows of all time.

    And in a perfect show, there exists one perfect season: Season 2. Here are 50 hilarious moments from Season 2 that make me laugh every time.

    1. When Nick went undercover in Jess's class as Julius Pepperwood and got a little too into character:

    Nick, as Julius, says he's from Chicago. Jess tells him to take his glasses off and he asks if he keeps them on, is he a bad boy? Jess says "hey" and so he takes them off, but says it's a whole new lens to see Jess's dress in

    2. When Jess was stressed about her biological clock, and Schmidt and Winston immediately offered to have children with her:

    Jess asks who is going to have kids with her, and Schmidt and Winston offer. Jess says, "to be clear, I haven't asked any of you to impregnate me. I think it's important that's been said"

    3. When Nick became an inspiration and immediately regretted it:

    Nick says, "Hey, look at that! I've never been an inspiration before! I don't like it. It's too much responsibility"

    4. When Nick got drunk at the zoo and threatened to let the snakes out if Winston said "adjusted schedule" one more time:

    Nick says he'll let the snakes out if Winston says it again, so Winston tells him to go ahead, but he can't. Nick says they've done a good job of keeping the snake cage sealed

    5. When Nick hit it off with Tran, a random silent man on a bench, at the park:

    6. And when Tran took Nick to the pool to help him with his anger:

    7. When Nick got mad that women have "an excuse to act irrationally angry once a month" and Jess reminded him that he's always irrationally angry:

    Jess says Nick is angry 365 days a year. There's a flashback to Nick getting mad at a door

    8. When Nick told the crew that his dad had died DIRECTLY after they'd all inhaled helium:

    Nick asks his roommates if they're going to say anything — they offer their condolences, but in helium voices, so Nick makes a weird face

    9. When Jess said that they couldn't use "apricot" as a code word because she uses it too much in her normal life, and Nick questioned why:

    Jess asks, "What am I supposed to call them? Sweet tangy balls?" And Nick tells her not to call them sweet tangy balls

    10. When Winston had a valid question for Nick:

    Winston asking Nick, "Do you realize I say goodnight to you every night and you never say goodnight back? What is the problem, Nick? Do you not want me to have a good night?"

    11. When Winston read Nick's zombie book out loud:

    Winston reads aloud about Mike Jr. and Mike Sr., who suck. Nick says that's a major theme in the book. Winston continues to read ridiculous dialogue and points out a character that's introduced then forgotten about

    12. And when he noticed a typo (or 38) in the book:

    Winston says Nick misspelled the word rhythm 38 times

    13. When Nick stole a neighbor's trench coat and then refused to take it off because it "fit like a damn glove":

    14. When Schmidt tried to show Angie how to do a lap dance and Nick wasn't having it:

    Schmidt says Angie's doing it wrong, and she needs eye contact, then demonstrates and dances, but Nick ducks under his leg and calls Schmidt dumb

    15. When Nick moonwalked away from Jess:

    16. When Nick was impressed by an NFL player:

    Nick says, "His hands are so big and warm. I want to fall asleep in them, like Thumbelina"

    17. When Schmidt came up with an A+ pun and vagina euphemism:

    Schmidt calls Sadie a "vagenius" since she's a gynecologist and a lesbian, then asks if he can ask a few questions about the "downstairs girl cookie"

    18. And then Nick had an even better one:

    Nick says to Jess, "He stole a flower from you? And you want to have drinks with him?" They all look at him like he's dumb, so he says, "Oh, from your wonderful secret garden"

    19. When Winston had an interesting response to a question in a flashback about whether or not he was a virgin:

    20. When Nick just wanted to share his love for "Cotton Eye Joe":

    Nick fist pumps to Cotton Eye Joe, while Jess sits next to him in his car asking why he needed her for this

    21. And later, when the beat just possessed him:

    Jess asks how gullible he thinks she is, because he's fist pumping to the song. Nick denies it, but then looks over and sees he is fist pumping

    22. When Jess asked Schmidt and Nick to help her pretend to be Katie the dancer in front of Sam, and Nick had to demonstrate his dance jumps:

    23. When Nick was into Jess's mom and had no excuse:

    Nick says to Jess, "Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably"

    24. When Nick was confused by makeup:

    Nick asks if Jess put shoe polish on her eyes, but Schmidt tells him it's eyeshadow. Nick tells Jess it looks crazy

    25. When Winston and Schmidt thought that they were being robbed, but so did the guy who they thought was robbing them:

    Schmidt says he was terrified, but then Robert comes back and they get scared — only he just wants his wallet back

    26. When Nick crawled onto the apartment ledge to get away from kissing Jess, and Schmidt fainted:

    27. When Nick was NOT having fun at a haunted house:

    28. When Nick got really mad at balloons:

    ?Nick gets caught in balloons and shouts at them "Who booby trapped me?! Stop! Shut up!"

    29. When Nick called Jess a gold digger for thinking it was attractive that he was putting effort into something, and Jess came back with this A+ insult:

    Jess says, "If I were a gold digger, do you think I'd be interested in you? I would be the worst gold digger in the world!"

    30. When Jess tried to twist Schmidt's nipples to hurt him, but they...weren't there??:

    Jess tells Schmidt to stay away from her parking space or she'll have "this" to deal with then tries to twist his nipples, but can't find them. She asks where his nipples are and he says he'll never tell

    31. When Nick got stressed about being left alone at a fancy restaurant:

    On the phone, Nick says, "Where are you, Schmidt? This place is fancy and I don't know which fork to kill myself with"

    32. When Nick decided to be more like Hemingway:

    Nick says, "I gotta kill a man with my bare hands after making sweet love to him and then sleep on the warm belly of his horse. I gotta eat my way out of a sandwich house" to which Winston asks how much Nick knows about Hemingway

    33. When Nick accidentally wrote a Twilight rip-off:

    Jess's dad says Nick's book is like Twilight, so Nick asks if Twilight has a love triangle, a wolf, and if it's in Seattle, to which Jess's dad responds yes. Nick then says whoever wrote Twilight is smart

    34. When Nick got mad that such a big deal was being made about Schmidt buying him a cookie:

    Nick says if he could give the cookie back, he would, and that nothing would make him happier than to throw it up, put it in a cookie shape, and shove it down Schmidt's throat. Schmidt asks, 'You wanna mama-bird me the cookie?"

    35. When Nick tried to repay him and his brain short-circuited:

    Nick keeps saying "You gave me a cookie, I gave you a cookie" but skipping words

    36. When Nick asked Jess out on a date for the first time:

    Nick says "Jess...ica. Dirty J! Dr. Day, my toilet sister! If so, food?" Jess asks if he wants to get food later, to which Nick puts up thumbs up

    37. When Winston referred to himself as "Prank Sinatra":

    38. When Nick tried to steal the notebook of one of Jess's students:

    39. When Winston was practicing asking a girl out and was having a little trouble:

    Winston says, "I was wondering, like, if you wanted to...perchance..." And Daisy replies "Perchance? Really?" Winston says, "You're a swell kind of gal...AY GIRL WHAT YOUR NAME IS?"

    40. When Winston's "pogo" made an appearance at breakfast and the roommies freaked:

    Winston tries to escape after Cece says she just felt the side, but everyone jumps out of the way and yells

    41. And Schmidt marveled at the capabilities of Winston's pogo:

    Schmidt says Winston pogoed his pizza and asks how he didn't feel that. He also says Winston's penis changed the channel during the Bears game

    42. When Schmidt shaved his eyebrows because he thought they were his "pogo":

    Schmidt presents his eyebrows, which have been half shaved off

    43. And then made a good point about Winston's pogo:

    Winston says, "At least you can hide your pogo in a shoe," so Schmidt replies, "They make shoes for your penis. They're called pants"

    44. When Nick had to ask a valid question:

    Jess asks if Nick's the doodle police, and Nick giggles then asks if there are doodle police or not

    45. When Winston and Schmidt wanted to know who Nick was going on a date with, but Nick didn't want to say that it was Jess:

    Nick says he's going out with someone named Yolanda Winston as Schmidt and Winston look confused

    46. When Winston couldn't even enjoy his cake in peace:

    47. When Bucky the badger got loose in the vents and Nick freaked out:

    In the vents, Nick asks what's going on, and Winston says Bucky got out of his cage. Nick starts screaming and struggling and has his head pulled back by Winston

    48. And Winston got pretty dark:

    Winston says, "I'm just staying positive, but I'm pretty sure this is where we die"

    49. When college Schmidt had some questions about sex while Nick was high:

    young Schmidt asks young Nick if he pees while it's happening, if the woman will die. Nick just sagely nods

    50. And finally, when Schmidt was unimpressed with Jess and Nick's drumroll:

    Schmidt asks for a drumroll, but Jess does a cymbal and Nick does a tom-tom. Schmidt gets frustrated and says he meant a snare drum and shouldn't have to specify, while Jess says cymbals are part of the drum kit