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18 Awkward But Hilarious Things That Have Happened To People During Sex

TL;DR: Lock your pets outside when you're getting it on.

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1. The furry visitor:

littleanimalgifs.tumblr.com

"My (now ex-) boyfriend and I were having sex on the floor in his living room, and his dog came in, walked up to us, licked my boob, and laid down next to us. We laughed so hard that we actually scared the dog away."

Submitted by ViolaHastings

2. The bloody tale with a happy ending:

Oxygen

"When I was 17, my boyfriend and I were having some fun in his bedroom while (we thought) his parents weren't home. I tend to be very loud and aggressive during sex, and we ended up on his futon with me on top. I bucked too hard –the futon broke in half, we crashed down, and his face went into my knee, breaking his nose. His mom must have just gotten home, because she came barging into his room, hysterical when she saw us naked and all of the blood from his nose. But I am happy to report that his nose healed fine, and 12 years later, we are still friends and joke about it."

Submitted by 1066

3. The irresistable Arrested Development reference:

Fox

"We were undressing each other. She was wearing a rather long skirt with jean shorts underneath, which I didn't know about. As I take off her skirt, leaving her with nothing but the aforementioned shorts, the first image that comes to my mind is Tobias from Arrested Development and his never-nude 'condition'.

"When I told her we laughed so hard we absolutely ruined the mood. Watched some Arrested Development though, so still a win."

Submitted by dgd1095

4. The series of fortunate events:

Flo Perry / BuzzFeed

"We headbutted and started laughing, which resulted in laughing farts, which turned into us crying with laughter. End result: the most fun sex we've had as we were so laidback."

Submitted by hazellangelaw

5. This very honest discussion:

Warner Bros.

"I was on top of my boyfriend at the time, at home (which was at my mum's), and my mum walks in. I stop and turn to look at her. She says, 'What are you doing?' I reply, 'What does it look like?' And so she just sighs and walks out... It kinda killed the mood though."

Submitited by maddiz

6. This inappropriate time to remember Grandma:

STV News / Via youtube.com

"So last year I was casually dating this very weird guy and on a date we started kissing, and then things got hotter, so we decided to do it. When we started doing it I had my blouse and bra on and when I took them off he saw my little wart on my chest and starts laughing and says, 'Aww man, my grandma has one just like yours,' and I had to listen to the memories that he had with his grandma while he was pounding me from behind."

Submitted by mabelr411a349bb

7. The unexpected lesson on the way to Bible study:

The CW

"When I was about 16, my very first boyfriend and I were making out and getting handsy in the backseat of his car in the parking lot of my apartment complex...in broad daylight. It was empty when we started, but without us even knowing, the local church van had pulled up to pick up my neighbour's kids for Bible Study. They parked right next to us! When we finally sat up and started to wipe the fog off the windows, we looked over and saw several tiny faces staring at us through the van window. It was hard to look the neighbours (and their kids) in the eyes after that one. Stupidest thing I've ever done."

Submitted by libertyv94

8. The couple who heard a rapping at the chamber door:

American International Pictures

"I went to some dude's house that I met off of Tinder, obviously to bang. When I get there, we go to his room and (for some reason?) instead of putting on music, he puts on an Edgar Allen Poe documentary. Since I literally only started talking to this dude, like, seven hours beforehand, he had no idea that I'm an English major and an English tutor, so I very much enjoy Edgar Allen Poe. So, we're in the middle of some very mediocre sex, and I'm on top, and my mind starts to wander. I start listening to the documentary in the background, and after a few minutes, I had gotten so enveloped in the story, that I actually turned around to watch the documentary. A few seconds pass and the guy says, 'Hey, can you focus? I'm literally inside of you.' I never heard from him again."

Submitted by alexandram4032a408d

10. The duck incident:

Disney

"Several years ago my then boyfriend and I were doing the thing, and everything was normal and totally fine until he came. He accidentally quacked. But not like a real duck... Like Donald Duck. Very, very loud and drawn-out, so it was impossible to pretend I hadn't heard it. He was vaguely aware that he had done it, but obviously expected me to ignore it completely. I did not – instead I immediately burst out laughing and he was Not. Pleased."

Submitted by dobbyisafreeelf

12. The shower sex gone terribly, terribly wrong:

Loryn Brantz / BuzzFeed

"If anyone has ever attempted shower sex, it isn't as easy or hot as it looks on TV. But, goddamn it, my partner and I were trying, when all of a sudden the water turns ice fucking cold! He jumps up and out of me screaming at the top of his lungs. When he swings around to turn on more hot water, he knocks me on my ass. As I'm falling to my pretty obvious death, he tries to catch me so I don't knock my head open on the tub, but misses and grabs the shower curtain and the whole thing falls!

"He's screaming because the water is still cold and he feels bad that he couldn't stop me from getting a bloody nose and lip from smashing my head on the tub.

Then, just then, my three children come running in the loo to find out what the screaming and crying was and they find their mother butt-ass-naked face down with blood all over her."

Submitted by sarahmcelroyv

13. The heroic cat:

giphy.com

"My ex was going down on me. He was really going to town and I was being rather loud in my approval. Until he stopped short and shrieked in pain. Apparently my cat thought I was yelling for help, not for more, because she jumped on to the bed behind him and bit his nekkid ass to an attempt to save me."

Submitted by allivymar

14. This unfortunate injury:

Fox / Via bobs-burgers.tumblr.com

"I met this guy strictly to have sex. He came over we start getting it on and he told me to sit on his face. I lost my balance while trying to get in a comfortable position and I fell forward and slammed my head into the headboard."

Submitted by tabethap

15. The kitten's contribution:

tumblr.com

"My wife and I were getting things started once when our cat – a kitten at the time, and coming off being ill – hopped up onto the bed. We'd ignored the cats before (they usually go away once things get too noisy for them), so we kept going. Then we noticed an awful smell. Turns out our little darling had taken a wet, acrid sick-shit on the bed just behind us. Needless to say, that put the brakes on things."

Submitted by sjhartsfield

16. The injury that would be difficult to explain to the doctor:

ABC

"During my freshman year of college there was this guy that I liked that I've known since high school and we decided to hook up. We were gettin' naked when I made the offhand comment that it'd be funny to get slapped with a dick...let's just say I got slapped with a dick and we both laughed so hard that he fell over onto the floor and broke his hand. We ended up at the emergency room with a funny story.

"Good times!"

Submitted by r46143bf89

17. This incredible timing:

GEICO

"So I'm making out with this guy I've been hooking up with and we start undressing each other. There's music playing in the background and at this point we're standing up. He then picks me up, tosses me onto his bed, and goes to take off my pants. As my pants are pulled to my knees, the music stops, and on comes Geico's 'where do babies come from?' commercial. He takes off my pants but I'm laughing hysterically because who wouldn't burst into laughter after hearing a small child ask where babies come from while you are about to do the thing that makes babies a thing. He ends up lying down next to me and we both can't stop laughing. Moral of the story is: Invest in premium music content to avoid commercials giving awkward sex talks."

Submitted by asdfghjklldaisy

18. And finally, the sexy wellies:

Paramount Pictures / Via imgur.com

"I was riding this Irish guy that was my friend with benefits one afternoon and I kept queefing lol. Right in the middle of my vag' s monologue he goes, 'It sounds like you're walkin through the woods with your wellies on,' in his thick-ass Irish accent. Weirdly specific association but uncanny in its accuracy."

Submitted by s4b59174fc

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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