26 Excellent Reasons To Hide In The Disabled Toilet
There are so many perfectly reasonable explanations for Ken Livingstone's decision.
1. You've had a bad breakup and need a bit of a cry.
2. There's more privacy than the other toilets and you don't want anyone to hear you do a poo.
3. The nation's press are pursuing you asking you questions about Hitler and it seemed like a good place to hide.
4. There's a nicer hand dryer in the disabled loo.
5. The regular toilets always run out of loo roll before the disabled one and you don't want to take any chances.
6. You need a bit of extra room to roll up your tights.
7. Your name is Ken Livingstone and the nation's press continue to shout questions at you through the door about Hitler and there's no way out except through the window and it's just too high up to take the risk and of course a photographer would spot you wouldn't they?
8. You're just having a bad day and want to treat yourself to some "me time".
9. Trying to beat your high score on Candy Crush.
10. Your entire party is in the midst of a catastrophic meltdown and you fear you might be about to be suspended from the party (and you are correct).
11. Just doing a normal wee but taking your time.
12. You need to do a little vom, since you were out on a big one last night, wahay.
13. You need to double check the factual accuracy of your recent assertions about Hitler on Wikipedia.
14. The disabled loos have great Wi-Fi.
15. Just having a little scroll through Twitter as the nation's press ridicule you both online and in person.
16. That's where you hide your emergency cigarettes.
17. Picking your nose.
18. Quick nap.
19. You need some peace and quiet to reflect on your total and complete political demise.
20. You're dealing with some serious morning sickness but don't want your colleagues to know you're pregnant yet.
21. The hand soap smells really good in the disabled toilets.
22. I mean, you probably could fit through the window and make an escape, but of course your bum would probably get stuck and then you'd just be dangling there and it would be the front page of The Sun.
23. There's a weird mirror in the disabled loo so you can watch yourself poo for some reason, and you're kind of into it.
24. Just stalking your ex on Instagram.
25. You're trying to avoid that girl Becky you hate who always chats to you from the neighbouring stall and it's completely unbearable.
26. Your name is Ken Livingstone and you've made a huge mistake.