1.The EU has come up with a package of reforms this week renegotiating the UK's place in the union. David Cameron calls it "a good agreement for Britain".
2.He defended the draft agreement at Prime Minister's Questions as “good for jobs, good for investment, good for growth”.
3.Now, you might be wondering, "How long is this package?"
4.It's 16 pages long.
5.SO, one important aspect of Cameron's draft deal is the proposed "emergency brake" on providing EU migrants with in-work benefits for up to four years.
6.HOWEVER while the current draft allows for an "emergency brake", it could still allow officials in Brussels to put a hold on the hold.
7.Which means the UK could vote to stay in the EU, thinking it would get to have the "emergency brake" feature, only to have the European Parliament ***TURN OFF THE LIGHTS*** on that feature of the deal anyway.
8.So anyway, Cameron's going on this week about how his draft is a great fuckin' deal for Britain. This bit is widely considered to be his biggest victory from the negotiations:
9.Here's Channing Tatum. He wants you to know that you look beautiful today.
10.It's rules like that that make some ministers WANT to complain, but can't because there's a ~gag rule~ in place whereby ministers who oppose Cameron's deal can't say shit about it until after the deal is formalised.
11.This is just a hot picture of Oscar Isaac!
12.Look at his eyes!
14.Anyway, back to the benefits issue, which is a flashpoint in the hearts of many Europe-haters. What do EU migrants working in Britain actually get in the way of benefits right now?
15.And what would they get under the new deal?
16.It actually wouldn't be that they get *absolutely* nothing for four years, but rather they'd start with nothing and their benefits would increase over time. The draft states:
17.The potential future changes to these benefits might actually mean that more EU workers come to the UK sooner, before the new rules are implemented.
18.The draft also distances the UK – though not as explicitly as Cameron would have liked – from the EU's stated goal of an "ever closer union", symbolised here by Gigi Hadid and Zayn Malik, who make a great metaphor for increasing federalism:
19.Also, Cameron wanted the deal to explicitly say the EU is a multi-currency union – a concession old Tusky wasn't willing to give.
20.Basically they still have a lot of issues to grind out about the currency thing.
21.Also blah blah Cameron wants to limit EU regulations in order to ensure competitiveness, like in Jessica Jones when they have kinda competitive superhero sex.
22.Jeremy Corbyn called the draft a "smoke-and-mirrors sideshow" at PMQs today, echoing many people's view that there is a choreographed effort (which No. 10 has denied) to distract from the deeper issues of union with Europe.
23.Meanwhile in America, Obama “reaffirmed continued US support for a ~strong~ United Kingdom in a ~strong~ European Union”.