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32 Hilarious Tweets That Perfectly Sum Up Being A Woman

"If you're not a woman who's laughing while doing yoga, your life is empty & meaningless."

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Ladies, never show panty lines!!!!!! It breaks the illusion that your pants are actually your skin!!!!!

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I always feel like I'm forgetting something whenever I leave the house carrying less than like 9 purses full of garbage

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Dolls teach girls very unrealistic body standards. A Russian doesn't have to have many tiny Russians inside her to be beautiful.

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boy: i wished girls liked sports girl: i like sports boy: oh yeah name the blood type of the seahawks coach from the 1990s

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sometimes i forget that men have the right of way on the sidewalk and i feel so silly !!

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8.

Birth control pills are like cute little advent calendars for a really shitty holiday.

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Women's deodorant scents: rose, cotton, spring, meadow Men's: WINTER ICE, SHARKNADO, GLACIER PUNCH, ANTIFREEZE, GUN

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We asked 500 men what they look for in a woman and then set them adrift on a raft screaming, because just kidding who cares

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Recipe for liberation as a woman: eat five man buns with heads still attached, claim new power

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Hillary Clinton's resting face is "I just sat through 50 years of mansplaining."

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Don't hate the player, hate the social construct of performative masculinity, which encourages weak men to conform to a sexist narrative th

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We should probably stop applauding men for marrying accomplished women as if they adopted a blind one-legged rescue dog

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If you're not a woman who's laughing while doing yoga, your life is empty & meaningless.

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A cat-caller just said he wants to get "all up in my business" which is great because my taxes are complicated and I could use the help.

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The chick at this Starbucks who eyeballed the line for the women's bathroom and then grandly swept into the men's room is a true hero.

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20 Things That Women Should Stop Wearing After The Age of 30 1-20: The weight of other people's expectations & judgments

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Run down the grocery aisle throwing things into your cart chanting "a woman's right to choose!"

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The moral of Beauty and the Beast is that looks don't matter, as long as you're a man.

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BRB, teaching a flock of parrots to say "what if that character was a woman?" And then releasing them in Hollywood

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baby: d-dd-d parents: dada?!?! baby: DESTROY THE FUCKIN PATRIARCHY *guitar solo*

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thank god i found someone who loves me for who I am, who doesn't mind my tetanus or my glibness or my octopus form in which I eat children

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Coming back to work after getting your eyebrows threaded at lunch like

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To the small girl who came to the desk with a fistful of correct change clutching Adventure Stories for Boys: YOU CRUSH THAT PATRIARCHY GIRL

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[first date] I just love that you are a normal, cool girl. *subtly slides macaroni art of your face back under my chair* -Yeah, totally.

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I invented a drink called the Grown Ass Woman: 3 fingers o'whiskey 2 ice cubes 1/2 pajammy jams (tops or bottoms) 1 night of canceled plans

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Don't understand how women are given shit for doing sex work when there are men out there openly working as members of U2

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every single party where women listen interestedly to men is an extended piece of performance art, and men have NO IDEA

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If Thor is a woman, what's next? Woman doctors? Woman lawyers? Woman mothers? When will it end?

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The Venn diagram of men who say women take too long to get ready and men who ask if you're sick when you're not wearing makeup is a circle.

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when it's been 20 years and you're still fed up of listening to men

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