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32 Hilarious Tweets That Perfectly Sum Up Being A Woman

"If you're not a woman who's laughing while doing yoga, your life is empty & meaningless."



Ladies, never show panty lines!!!!!! It breaks the illusion that your pants are actually your skin!!!!!


I always feel like I'm forgetting something whenever I leave the house carrying less than like 9 purses full of garbage


Dolls teach girls very unrealistic body standards. A Russian doesn't have to have many tiny Russians inside her to be beautiful.


boy: i wished girls liked sports girl: i like sports boy: oh yeah name the blood type of the seahawks coach from the 1990s



sometimes i forget that men have the right of way on the sidewalk and i feel so silly !!


Birth control pills are like cute little advent calendars for a really shitty holiday.


Women's deodorant scents: rose, cotton, spring, meadow Men's: WINTER ICE, SHARKNADO, GLACIER PUNCH, ANTIFREEZE, GUN


We asked 500 men what they look for in a woman and then set them adrift on a raft screaming, because just kidding who cares


Recipe for liberation as a woman: eat five man buns with heads still attached, claim new power


Hillary Clinton's resting face is "I just sat through 50 years of mansplaining."


Don't hate the player, hate the social construct of performative masculinity, which encourages weak men to conform to a sexist narrative th


We should probably stop applauding men for marrying accomplished women as if they adopted a blind one-legged rescue dog


If you're not a woman who's laughing while doing yoga, your life is empty & meaningless.


A cat-caller just said he wants to get "all up in my business" which is great because my taxes are complicated and I could use the help.


The chick at this Starbucks who eyeballed the line for the women's bathroom and then grandly swept into the men's room is a true hero.


20 Things That Women Should Stop Wearing After The Age of 30 1-20: The weight of other people's expectations & judgments


Run down the grocery aisle throwing things into your cart chanting "a woman's right to choose!"


The moral of Beauty and the Beast is that looks don't matter, as long as you're a man.


BRB, teaching a flock of parrots to say "what if that character was a woman?" And then releasing them in Hollywood


baby: d-dd-d parents: dada?!?! baby: DESTROY THE FUCKIN PATRIARCHY *guitar solo*


thank god i found someone who loves me for who I am, who doesn't mind my tetanus or my glibness or my octopus form in which I eat children


Coming back to work after getting your eyebrows threaded at lunch like


To the small girl who came to the desk with a fistful of correct change clutching Adventure Stories for Boys: YOU CRUSH THAT PATRIARCHY GIRL


[first date] I just love that you are a normal, cool girl. *subtly slides macaroni art of your face back under my chair* -Yeah, totally.


I invented a drink called the Grown Ass Woman: 3 fingers o'whiskey 2 ice cubes 1/2 pajammy jams (tops or bottoms) 1 night of canceled plans


Don't understand how women are given shit for doing sex work when there are men out there openly working as members of U2


every single party where women listen interestedly to men is an extended piece of performance art, and men have NO IDEA


If Thor is a woman, what's next? Woman doctors? Woman lawyers? Woman mothers? When will it end?


The Venn diagram of men who say women take too long to get ready and men who ask if you're sick when you're not wearing makeup is a circle.


when it's been 20 years and you're still fed up of listening to men