Hello, and welcome to this rendition of Help Me Hameda — our fortnightly advice column written by yours truly, your favourite internet bestie.
Recently, I was speaking to a colleague of mine who felt as if she wasn't properly aligned with her goals or on the right path to achieve her personal legend. And of course, seeing as I am the ~wise one~ of the office, she asked me if I had any advice about getting back on track.
Like everyone else, no matter how clear I am about my eventual endgame, I often find myself stepping away from my path. Usually this is out of fear, stress, or simple procrastination — and there are a few ways that I resolve this.
I'm actually in the midst of one of these situations right now, where my brain feels far too foggy for me to actually make any progress — and I'm not about to force myself to forge onward without addressing why I'm feeling the way that I am. I need to determine whether I can step out of the zone or if I need to go through the motions to make it to the other side. It can be counterintuitive to do one if the vibe calls for the other.
So let's get started! As a witch, I find that a lot of my practise revolves around sitting and reflecting so that I can understand my way forward. There's a lot of big-picture thinking involved, a lot of working with outside influences — whether that's my coven, the moon and planets, or my spirit guides. But it also includes working deeply with internal influences, being my shadow self and my intuition.
To figure out why you're feeling the way you might be feeling, it's a good idea to get rid of all distractions and — I know you don't want to hear this, but — meditate. Now, I don't mean three hours of silence on a tranquil mountaintop. I just mean a quiet spot in your home, where you can allow yourself to really feel your emotions and identify them. Do you feel lonely? Afraid? Hopeless? Just plain lazy? Or has life steered you down such a winding road that it's hard to figure out which way is up?
Sometimes, without even meaning to, I find myself waking up from these foggy-brain trances, only to discover just how far I've wandered off my track. My first line of attack is always to pinpoint why the part of me that keeps me on my path has checked out. Nowadays, there are certainly a lot of factors that contribute to the spaciness. And that's totally valid and normal. Don't be upset with yourself for falling into limbo. The important part is recognising that this is where you are so that you can pull yourself out of it.
We all need a break from time to time, so the goal isn't to punish yourself for checking out. Sometimes you need to remain in a static state for reasons beyond comprehension — so, as with every other experience in your life, when you're ready to move on, pay the moment the respect it deserves and get ready to step beyond it.
How you deal with the fog depends on what brought it on in the first place. If, for example, you're retreating out of fear of the unknown or progress — which we can often miss or write off — try to list out worst-case scenarios based on the choices and progress you're on the way to making.
If you find that the reason you're in limbo is because you've been caught up in your day-to-day and are suddenly unaware of what you actually want short term (or long term), try a visualisation method.
Mid–last year, I was in a similar headspace after feeling as if my wings had been clipped because of everything going on in the world. I'd lost sight of my own little goals and the steps to achieving my own personal legend — and everything felt repetitive and uninspiring. So I wrote a diary entry from the perspective of myself 12 months into the future. So far, the things that I noted in my diary entry have been manifesting in my actual life.
There are a lot of different tools and rituals I use to work on myself. Some of them I make up, some of them are recommended to me by friends, and some I discover online. I particularly enjoy this method because instead of listing out your goals and desires — which can be a daunting task when you don't actually know what they might be — you're forced to put yourself into the mind of your future self to discover what those things are.
Your first step after discovering that you'd like to switch things up and progress forward should always be to understand — and I mean really understand what that looks like. If you attempt to fight the fog without this foresight, you might find yourself right back where you are now, a little older and no wiser.
That’s my humble little bit of advice, and I truly hope it helps. If you’re suffering from depression or anxiety or really need an outlet to open up, it’s important to seek professional care.
Do you have any methods to ground yourself or realign your mind with your life goals? Share the love below!
Just remember to be kind and considerate when you do.
If you've got a situation you need advice on — or you've come to a different conclusion based on your reflection and want to know how to go about taking it on — you can DM me about it on Instagram (@itshameda) or Twitter (@hamedanafiz) to be featured in the column.
PS: All submissions are for publication on BuzzFeed only.