Can You Kiss The Right Guy On New Year's Eve?
“Gif me a kissfff,” Bruno slurs, spitting all over you. Suddenly, it becomes very clear that Bruno is not the ideal candidate for your New Year’s kiss, but by the time you recognise this, the countdown is already finished, and you realise you’ve just entered 2016 with a face full of another guy’s spittle. Happy New Year!
Konrad is cool, he’s got a decent personality, and only spent 70% of the conversation talking about himself. But you’ve been building up the courage to ask him why he’s wearing sunglasses inside the entire time. When it gets to midnight, he leans in for the kiss, and you ask: “don’t you want to take those off?” “Nah,” he replies, “it’s kind of my ~aesthetic~.” Mood ruined.
Micheil is a smooth talker, who has complimented your NYE outfit at least five times (which is great because it’s fire). As the countdown to the New Year strikes, he asks if he can kiss you, and you agree. Expecting a subtle peck, he goes full frontal, washing-machine style, which completely throws you. 0 out of 10, you would not do again.
You’ve had a crush on Reggie all year and you know this New Year’s is your opportunity to have your perfect midnight kiss. Having plied yourself with liquid courage, you tell yourself you’re gonna tell him your feelings, to which he’ll agree that he’s loved you all along, and you’ll both kiss to the tune of “My Heart Will Go On”. One minute to midnight, you ready yourself and tap him on the shoulder. He turns around, says “hey!”, and grabs the girl next to him: “this is my girlfriend!” NOOOOOOO! No kiss for you.
Skip is a great time, and you agreed to kiss him at midnight at about 10pm, but he’s been drinking a copious amount of alcohol since then. When it comes to your kiss, it starts off well, until suddenly he lurches forward and retches IN YOUR MOUTH. You step back, disgusted, your year ruined before it’s even begun.
"3…2…1…HAPPY NEW YEAR!” You lean in to Anthony and pucker yourself up. He licks his lips (which kind of grosses you out at first, but you go with it) and your lips touch. You kiss and it’s *good*. Thinking you’re about finished, you start to pull away, but in a desperate attempt to preserve the kissing momentum, Anthony tries to bite your lip in a “sexy” way. “Ow! What the fuck?!” you cry. Unfortunately, Anthony is too wasted to realise the difference between sexy and damn near cannibalism and so ends up making your lip bleed. Not good at all.
You like Ethan. He’s intelligent, holds a good conversation, and is pretty funny. As it gets closer to midnight, you think you’ll give the kiss thing a go with him, when he suddenly changes topic. “So, what’s your opinion on the whole ‘Donald Trump’ thing? He’s great right?” You walk away immediately. You’ve never liked politics, anyway.
You’ve secretly liked Edwin for a while, but you’ve never had the chance to speak to him until this New Year’s Eve party, where you’ve been chatting all night by the bowl of tortilla chips. “Have you ever had a midnight kiss?” Edwin asks you. “No, never.” “Can I?” he replies. Your heart jumps, your stomach does a flip, and you reply: “YES! TAKE ME EDWIN! LET US ENTER 2016 TOGETHER AS LOVERS.” A happy new year, indeed.
Kenneth is a cool guy and has beautiful eyes that you could get lost in, but you’ve noticed he’s a tad bit vain. Before he goes in for the kiss, he checks himself in the mirror to the left of you both and you immediately feel as if he’s more interested in kissing himself than you. It puts you off straight away. Kiss ruined.