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Which British Comedian Should You Get Drunk With?

Whoever you get, you're going to have a laugh.

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  2. “I find apologising for not having cleaned is easier than cleaning”
    "I don't watch television, I think it destroys the art of talking about oneself."
    "When I was a little kid I always wanted to be ginger. My best friend was ginger and he was pretty cool."
    "Yes, it's time to grease your muffin tray and grab your jugs."
    "Throwing acid is wrong… in some people’s eyes."
    "My mother is worried I have mental problems. I found a book about teenage paranoid delusions during a routine search of my parents' bedroom."
    "I hate racism, I could never be racist. I haven't finished hating all the fucking white people yet."
    "They say men can never experience the pain of childbirth. They can. if you hit them in the goolies with a cricket bat for 14 hours."
    "I don’t want to watch but I can’t not watch - It’s like Boris Johnson!"
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Which British Comedian Should You Get Drunk With?

You got: Miranda Hart

You and Miranda would have a lovely evening in together, you'd get a takeaway and share a bottle of wine. You'd watch a shit film you'd seen before and lip-sync all the best lines to each other. You might then progress to dancing round the kitchen singing power ballads to one and other.

Miranda Hart Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
BBC
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You got: Jo Brand

You and Jo brand would go to a pub and try and drink each other under the table. You'd share some pork scratchings and bitch about men. There would be a lot of swearing and you'd get a kebab on the way home.

Jo Brand
BBC
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You got: Frankie Boyle

You and Frankie Boyle would get pissed in an old man's pub and bitch about how stupid everyone is these days. You'd make offence jokes to one and another, and possibly get in a fight at one point, but then you'd have an emotional make-up in the chippy later.

Frankie Boyle Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
BBC
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You got: Richard Ayoade

You and Richard would have a civilised meal together with slightly too much red wine. He'd tell you amusing anecdotes from his past, where he comes across as an awkward, but loveable fool. You'd talk about politics for a bit, but then get too drunk and end up talking about which member of the spice girls was the best (Posh obviously).

Richard Ayoade
BBC
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You got: Jimmy Carr

You and Jimmy would hit the town together. He'd wingman you, but then get bored and pull you away again. You'd do ironic shots and then completely take over the dance floor. You'd end your night getting into an argument with some strangers in a McDonald's.

Jimmy Carr Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
Channel 4
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You got: Sue Perkins

You and Sue would get pissed in the afternoon watching some tennis, you didn't plan to get drunk, but when you were in the supermarket picking up biscuits you realised prosecco was on offer. So you brought two bottles. You'd get really passionate about the tennis, and then when it was over you'd go out and get an ice cream and be slightly embarrassed that you're this drunk while it's still light, but really you wouldn't care because you'd be having such a good time.

Sue Perkins
Tatler / youtube.com
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You got: Noel Fielding

You and Noel would go on a camping trip together. You'd just be cooking the sausages when Noel would surprise you with a massive bottle of sloe gin he'd been saving specially. You'd get really drunk eating burnt sausages and drinking sloe gin and talk about how big the universe is, and how it's so lucky that you two ended up right here, right now, because life has so many possibilities.

Noel Fielding
Channel 4
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You got: Stephen Fry

You and Stephen would get drunk in comfortable leather armchairs, in front of a roaring fire. He'd make a joke in latin and you'd laugh even though you didn't fully understand it. Then he'd make a wise, yet amusing speech about all that is wrong with the world, and you would nod in agreement. You'd make one little joke and he'd think you were HILARIOUS. He'd fling his head back heartily and say, "You got me there!"

Stephen Fry
BBC
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You got: Sarah Millican

You and Sarah would plan to go out, but you'd have one glass of wine before you left the house, and that turned into three glasses of wine, and then you'd never leave the house. Eventually you'd accept this and ring for pizza, you'd get chicken strips and garlic bread on the side too. Then you'd tell her all your problems and she'd give you wise and funny advice. You'd then do karaoke on the handy machine she has in her living room, and work on your joint choreography.

Sarah Millican
BBC
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