back to top

24 Things You'll Only Understand If You Have A Lil' Fat Belly

Or a FUPA, a pooch, a gunt, a puku, a food baby, whatever you want to call it.

Posted on

1. For whatever reason, you were not blessed with a flat stomach.

2. Maybe you've always had a convex stomach, even at your very skinniest, or maybe you've been blessed with a SPB (small potbelly) later in life.

However you came to be a proud SPB owner, you know the struggle.
Twitter: @boybehindbricks

However you came to be a proud SPB owner, you know the struggle.

3. Sometime's you'll think that you're actually going to try really hard to get a flat stomach, and then you see a pizza.

FOX

4. Or you read about what it actually takes to get a flat stomach and cradle your SPB, whispering sweet nothings to it.

5. Or you do one sit-up.

BBC

No thanks.

6. You subconsciously suck in your tummy whenever you see a mirror.

BBC

Your tummy senses the mirror before your eyes do.

7. And you obviously hold it all in whenever anyone gets out a camera.

FOX

8. But you also sometimes stick your tummy way out as far as you can and marvel about how pregnant you look.

If you stand sideways and put a hand over your belly button, it's scarily realistic.
reddit.com

If you stand sideways and put a hand over your belly button, it's scarily realistic.

9. You're not sure whether your natural look is pregnant or somewhere between sucked in and fully preggers.

Let's hope it's not fully preggers all the time.
Twitter: @paigenearhood

Let's hope it's not fully preggers all the time.

10. You've experimented with various kinds of Spanx.

VH1

Really big knickers can sometimes work almost as well.

11. You've definitely tried to commit to doing some kind of sit-up routine everyday.

And then decided on day two that this was a terrible idea.
youtube.com

And then decided on day two that this was a terrible idea.

12. And you've wondered if all those weird wraps and gadgets they sell on Instagram actually work.

And then you wonder if they know you have a tummy and that's why you see all these adverts. But then you realise that actually they target these adverts to everyone, because everyone has a lil' tummy and everyone feels bad about it. And then you blame the patriarchy.
lookfantastic.com

And then you wonder if they know you have a tummy and that's why you see all these adverts. But then you realise that actually they target these adverts to everyone, because everyone has a lil' tummy and everyone feels bad about it. And then you blame the patriarchy.

13. Sometimes in the morning you could kid yourself into thinking you almost have a flat stomach, but then you eat anything and suddenly the SPB is back.

Flo Perry / BuzzFeed

14. When you sit down you 100% get rolls.

15. You don't get the loads of little rolls thing that people with flat stomachs get.

16. You get two to three proper handful rolls.

Bonus points if your boob crease joins up when you sit down.
dagospia.com

Bonus points if your boob crease joins up when you sit down.

17. Your tummy rolls could comfortably hold a pencil, or maybe a TV remote.

You have a love/hate relationship with all things high-waisted.
Flo Perry / BuzzFeed

You have a love/hate relationship with all things high-waisted.

18. There are many names for your small potbelly, such as FUPA, which at least sounds cute.

VH1

Much better than gunt, which comes from where your gut meets your general vaginal area.

19. But maybe you have your own slightly cuter name for your small potbelly.

TLC

"Bernard is coming out tonight" sounds much better than "I'm wearing a tight dress that exposes my tummy fat tonight."

20. In the right dress you could maybe fool people into thinking that you have a totally flat stomach.

Clingy fabrics are your sworn enemies.
reddit.com

Clingy fabrics are your sworn enemies.

21. But really, why bother fooling people anyway?

If Jesus can have a SPB then so can you.
uglyrenaissancebabies.tumblr.com

If Jesus can have a SPB then so can you.

22. Because practically no one actually has a flat stomach.

Like 5% of people are weirdly blessed with one and put all their chub on their arse, and everyone else who has one doesn't get to eat cake or sit on the sofa all day.
headforart.com

Like 5% of people are weirdly blessed with one and put all their chub on their arse, and everyone else who has one doesn't get to eat cake or sit on the sofa all day.

23. And anyway there's this one bit in Pulp Fiction where this lady wishes for a potbelly.

And she's banging Bruce Willis, so that's cool, if you like that sort of thing.
Miramax

And she's banging Bruce Willis, so that's cool, if you like that sort of thing.

24. So remember: