This Is How To Tell If Someone Is Gay

They're everywhere.

Can you spot a homosexual in this line-up?

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There are two raging homos in this group.

Of course you can – it's obvious.

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All the other people are confirmed 100% heterosexual.

Let's examine the evidence.

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A love for wearing tartan: Homosexuals like to wear tartan as it reminds them of where they came from. Many people don't know that homosexuality originated in Scotland, but if you think about it, it's obvious. I mean, bagpipes? A straight person would never have named an instrument so suggestively.

Open-toed shoes: The gays just love sandals.

Next, let's analyse the body language.

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Lesbians are always sad. No one knows why. Meanwhile, gay men love waving – it's part of their seduction technique.

A homosexual's accessories provide further clues.

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These are common ornaments used in homosexual mating ceremonies.

All animals love homosexuals, and often follow them about wherever they go.

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Lesbians have mixed feelings about the birds.

Homosexuals become instantly aroused at the sight of any member of the same sex.

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This is very inconvenient for them.

It is common knowledge that all homosexuals fart rainbows.

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That's why it's on the flag.

Also if you look closely, all homosexuals will always be carrying their gay card.

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But they never, ever drop it.

Or maybe they just look like everyone else.

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