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Are You Actually A Londoner?

How do you feel about the other side of the river?

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  1. Have you ever...

    Not gone to a party because it was on the other side of the river?
    Not been able to cross the road because a load of Spanish children on a school trip are in your way?
    Tutted at someone for bringing a suitcase on the tube during rush hour?
    Not actually tutted at someone, but really wanted to?
    Hated yourself for bringing a suitcase on the tube during rush hour?
    Fallen asleep on the tube and ended up at the end of the line?
    Fallen asleep on a bus and had to be woken up by the driver?
    Fallen asleep on a bus and woken up on the wrong side of the river?
    Complained that Uber drivers don't know as much as black cab drivers?
    Complained that black cabs are too expensive?
    Complained that people on Boris bikes are dangerous?
    Thought it was hilarious to rent a Boris bike when you were drunk?
    Not been to several famous museums and landmarks?
    But you keep telling yourself you'll go this weekend?
    But then you just watch Netflix in bed for the whole weekend because the idea of getting on the tube again is too much?
    Had a local that was slightly too expensive and always a bit full?
    Constantly complained about your local, but always go there anyway?
    Gone to a nice pub and then realised it's a Wetherspoon's?
    Gone to a pop up restaurant?
    Queued for a restaurant for more than an hour?
    And then got bored and gone to a Wetherspoon's?
    Eaten at Pret twice in one week?
    Eaten at Chicken Cottage twice in one week?
    Seen a fox?
    Seen a dead fox?
    Seen a terrapin?
    Seen a terrapin using a dead fox as a sort of make shift raft?
    Seen a fox eating your rubbish and spreading it all over your street?
    Had a drunk conversation with a fox?
    Seen a shopping trolly sticking out of the canal?
    Seen a celebrity on your road?
    Seen a celeb in your local?
    Seen a celeb on the tube?
    Given a tourist directions and then only afterwards realised they were wrong?
    Not known how you were going to get to work after it snowed an inch?
    Not known how you were going to get to work because of "leaves on the line"?
    Been horrified because a stranger tried to talk to you on public transport?
    Had a surprisingly nice conversation with a stranger on public transport when you were wasted?
    Paid more than half your monthly salary in rent?
    Worried that you will never own your own home?
    Come to terms with the fact you will probably never own your own home?
    Gone to Westfield and seriously regretted it?
    Gone to Oxford Street and swore to never, ever go again?
    Got angry about someone standing on the left?

Are You Actually A Londoner?

Have you even been to London? Are you a tourist? Or are you just a really genuinely nice person?

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You don't care about all the trendy fads everyone is trying, and you try to avoid central London as much as possible. This is probably why you're so unusually calm. But you still think standing on the left is an abomination.

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Congratulations you're grumpy most of the time despite living in the greatest city on earth. But don't worry we understand, London is exhausting and you're probably not doing it right unless you're angry half the time.

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