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How Hipster Are You?

Do you like kale? Do you like the new version of kale? Do you know what the new kale is?

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  1. Check off everything that applies to you.

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    You have a beard.
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    You have a big beard.
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    You have a moustache, but no beard, because everyone else has a beard.
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    You have glasses.
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    You have large glasses.
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    You have large, expensive glasses.
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    You have large glasses you just found in a vintage shop or in your dad’s drawers or something.
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    You wear large glasses even though you don't need them.
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    You wear skinny jeans.
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    You wear jeans so skinny you have to jump to get in and use gravity to help you out.
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    You have a plaid shirt.
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    You think plaid shirts are so 2011.
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    You think that plaid shirts are due a comeback.
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    You have a collarless shirt.
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    You have a collarless plaid shirt.
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    You don’t have a collarless plaid shirt, but now you want one.
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    Most of your clothes are vintage.
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    They’re not vintage, they’re just second-hand!
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    Your coat is fashionable, but not very practical.
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    Your shoes aren’t waterproof.
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    You thanked the lord the day you discovered that trainers were both trendy and waterproof.
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    You own dungarees.
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    You wear crop tops regularly.
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    You have cut a T-shirt to make it a crop top.
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    You’ve worn a tattoo choker in the last year.
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    You have a job in the media.
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    You have a job in a startup tech company.
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    You have a job in the music industry.
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    You have a job that no one else understands.
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    You’re a bartender, but are trying for one of these jobs.
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    You’re doing something arty.
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    You are actually an artist.
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    You have more Twitter followers than Facebook friends.
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    You have more Instagram followers than Facebook friends.
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    You don’t use social media.
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    You don’t use social media because you don't want THE MAN stalking you.
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    You’re in a band.
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    You want to be in a band.
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    You cycle a lot.
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    You own a road bike.
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    You own a vintage road bike.
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    You own a fixie bike.
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    You own a vintage fixie bike.
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    You want a vintage fixie bike, and spend a lot of time on eBay looking at them.
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    You have a top knot.
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    Your top knot is very messy.
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    You want to make your top knot messier.
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    You have a bowl cut.
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    You have a very short fringe.
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    You have a man bun.
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    It’s not a man bun, it’s an edgy Mulan!
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    You are working on growing your hair so you have have a man bun.
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    You love your man bun more than some of your relations.
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    You like bands that your mum hasn’t heard of.
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    You like bands that none of your friends have heard of.
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    You don’t like One Direction.
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    You tell your friends you don’t like One Direction, but secretly you do!
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    You tell your friends you like One Direction ironically.
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    You don’t like One Direction but still want their hair.
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    You may have taken a picture of Zayn to the hairdressers.
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    You took a picture of Li Shang from Mulan to the hairdressers.
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    You have a vinyl collection.
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    You have a vinyl collection but no record player.
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    You still listen to music on cassette tapes.
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    You like the quality of the sound on tapes, alright?!
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    You make people mixtapes.
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    Full of bands they have never heard of.
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    Full of bands they have heard of, but you put them on there ironically.
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    You have some kind of undercut.
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    You have a colourful streak in your hair.
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    You live in a trendy part of town.
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    You live in a part of town that your estate agent assured you would be trendy soon.
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    You only drink black coffee.
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    You like drinking out of jam jars.
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    You just drink out of jam jars because it’s good for the planet.
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    You drink out of jam jars ironically.
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    You can tell the country different coffees come from.
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    You only drink craft beer.
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    Except when you're ironically drinking cheap tinnies.
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    You self-define as a hipster.
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    You definitely aren’t a hipster.
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    You self-define as a hipster ironically.
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    Your whole life is ironic.
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    You like kale.
 
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