Ghosting — when someone you have been texting with, going on dates with, or even dating just suddenly disappears without an explanation — is an unfortunate reality that sadly takes place in today's dating world (and doesn't seem to be going anywhere anytime soon).
I asked the BuzzFeed Community to share if they've ever been ghosted by someone and, if so, how they got over it and how badly it affected them. Here is what some people shared. Hopefully, for those reading this, these stories make you feel less alone and prove how disheartening the act of ghosting is, and no one deserves to be treated this way.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
1. "I dated someone in college who returned home for the summer, about 4-5 hours away. We had been dating for about four months by this point, so things were at least somewhat serious. During the first part of the summer, I came to visit her multiple times, including joining her and her family on an extended vacation. Dating long distance wasn't fun, but with it only being for two months, it didn't seem like a big deal."
"However, in July, she suddenly went radio silent. I was working, and she was doing an internship, so I would send her the occasional text message or call and talk for a few minutes in the evening. For a week or two, I couldn't reach her at all. Finally, she responded to a few messages but gave no reasonable explanation for her absence.
To this day, I think she might have been cheating on me during this span, but I never had a way to get that confirmed. When she finally came back to college, the vibe was off, and within a few weeks, I decided to break things off with her."
2. "A former situationship ghosted me. We had been on and off for years. He had always claimed that he was more interested in me than I was in him and that I took advantage of his feelings. From my perspective, he gave me mixed signals, and I didn't know what to do with them. I'm sure the truth lies somewhere in the middle. Anyway, he ghosted me one day. I felt confused, hurt, and angry. Eventually, I realized that my ego hurt more than my heart. Once I realized that, it was easier to take care of myself and move forward with my life. Years later, my life is 100x better without him in it. If I saw him today, I would thank him for ghosting me. I'm sure not everyone feels that way, but it's hard for me to hold a grudge when I'm so much happier now."
3. "As a teenager, I met a guy a year older than me at a conference in LA. We lived on opposite sides of the country, but we got along really well during the conference, hanging out constantly, texting at night, and all that. He was honestly the first guy I genuinely, really, really liked. When the conference was over, we still kept talking, texting, and Facetiming every day despite the time difference. He never showed signs of losing interest the whole time — he would send me heart emojis, tell me he missed me, etc. Then, one day, out of the blue, he completely ghosted me. I reached out and never got a response. It probably wouldn't have worked out, but it still stung."
4. "I met him on Bumble; in retrospect, I was love-bombed. He lived several states away, and I insisted we get to know each other for a month before he flew out to visit. We talked for hours almost daily. He said and did all the right things. He flew out, and I thought we had an amazing week. I felt wanted, valued, and cared for. He was pressuring me to make plans to move to his place and quit my job. He made several plans for the future, including insisting on buying a plane ticket to return in two weeks for my birthday because he missed me. He made elaborate plans for my birthday, etc."
5. "I was about 50 and met this woman on a dating site. We spoke on the phone for hours and then met for a date. We got on well, and after the date, she completely ghosted me. I was quite upset for a few hours and then realized that if that is the level of her communication ability, I was much better off with her out of my life."
6. "I was 18 and met this girl online. We talked for hours and had so much in common. The major snag was that I lived near London, and she was in Scotland. Nevertheless, I met her after my exams and had an amazing week with her. Coming home was horrendous, and we were both so sad. I then went away on holiday with friends, and it became clear that she and I wouldn’t be able to meet up again as I was going to uni, so we decided we had to be friends, but we would stay in touch. However, when I returned from holiday, the texts and the emails stopped. There was absolutely nothing. She didn’t return my calls, emails, or messages. I was so in love with her that my world had ended."
"Today, I know she did me a favor as although it was incredibly painful, it helped me to move on and focus on starting uni. A few months later, she got back in touch and explained it was the only way she could cope with not being able to see me again. We started talking regularly again… and then a few weeks later, she disappeared again. I couldn’t believe it. Needless to say, when she got back in touch again a few months later, I didn’t reply to her messages. It was a game I was fed up with."
7. "I was ghosted by a guy who would text me almost immediately back, no matter the time of day. He showed great interest, sent me cute snaps, and would want to video chat when possible. I finally met up with him, and his energy was pretty much the same, or so I thought. We ended up hooking up the first time, and while I did get a couple of messages from him the next day, I left him on read on Snap but texted him to see if he’d want to hang out, and he never replied. It’s crazy how some people can switch so quickly after getting what they want. It made me feel cheap and used especially since I thought there was a great connection."
8. "I met a guy on a dating app, and we really hit it off, so we went on a few dates and had a great time. I was going on vacation overseas for about two months after we met, and it just happened that my two travel companions were men. I could tell the guy I was dating wasn’t thrilled about it, but he said he trusted me. When I was away, I texted him almost daily and sent pictures.
"When I returned, we saw each other a few times, but one day, I texted him something like, 'How’s your day going?' He responded, 'I have my daughter today,' so I just said, 'I know, enjoy your time with her.' And then nothing for like five days. I finally texted him and said, 'Did you ghost me?' He responded no but that he was dealing with some mental health issues. I decided then to move on because I have my issues, especially with codependency, and even though I wanted to try and help him 'get better,' I just said, 'Oh well.' I think he got weird about my vacation, but I’m so glad I went instead of backing out because of his discomfort."
9. "I was dating this guy, and he was amazing. One day, I got a text from a random number saying that my boyfriend wanted butt pics. I was like, 'Hell no,' and I texted my bf and asked them if his friend was telling the truth, and he said no. I believed him because his friends were weird. The next day, I texted my bf and told him that I didn’t care about it at all because it wasn’t him. No response. We’re long-distance, too. I texted him a couple more times throughout the MONTH. Still no response. I deleted his contact, and I still haven’t heard from him, even though he texts our mutual friends, but never me. So if he reads this, he deserves a rude hand gesture."
10. "I was 35. We had been dating for 1.5 years. It was early November. I fell extremely ill with a heart condition and was admitted to the ICU for seven days. After the first day in the hospital, the healthcare team contacted my emergency contact. It was him. They couldn’t get him on the phone. Seven days go by, and I’m downgraded from the ICU and then released a few days later."
"I didn’t bother calling him because after I was able to check my phone, he hadn’t reached out at all. I know the hospital had called him. He texted me a few days before Thanksgiving (three weeks later) asking, 'What’s wrong with you anyway?' Another week passed, and he stopped to pick up his laundry and dropped off his cat. His excuse was he couldn’t give a 35-year-old woman or his cat what we wanted. Then followed up with, 'I have a job.' Like he was the only person on the planet that worked, he was also 35, and this wasn’t 'our' cat. It was his cat from a previous relationship. 2.5 years later, I still have the cat."
—Tracy, 38
11. "I am an older man who was ghosted by my long-time partner, and it is still on my mind three years later. We had been together off and on for 22 years. I have asked her to marry me many times, and she never said anything. She moved to another state to be with me, and after 12 years, she said, 'I am going on vacation' and never returned. For 2.5 years, she said she was still coming home, and then she said we would finally get married. Then, on Nov 4, 2022, she stopped calling and blocked me from her phone."
"I tried like three times to contact her, and then I gave up and had a nervous breakdown. I had to go to therapy for a few months, and then I have been doing well, at least moving on with my life in the sense that I go to work twice a week and take walks when I can. Truthfully, I still have thoughts of her. Her daughter calls sometimes to check on me. She says I am still her Dad. I don't ask about her mother. Yes I am living a lonely life and can't find it in my heart to trust again right now. This new ghosting people fad is very dangerous because there are people out there who don't know how to put up with hurt like me."
—Anonymous
12. "I’ve been ghosted so much that for a long time, I kept thinking there was something wrong with me. I’ve been ghosted by both men and women. Some whom I was in serious relationships and friendships with. I have a huge heart and genuinely care about people, so to incur so much 'rejection' really took a toll on my mental health. I began to isolate myself and stopped interacting with people for years. In the midst of it, I learned how to find peace in my solitude. I realized I could not control how people received my love and kindness or their reciprocity. The funny thing about the majority of the people who 'ghosted' me is that they all, at some point, tried to return and come back into my life. Some were sorry about the way they handled things, while others just admitted they were sorry that they 'no longer had access to me.' That was a real eye-opener. I’ve moved on in my life, and I’m much more content without these people. IT’S THEIR LOSS, NOT MINE!"
13. "I was set up by a family friend, who had the best of intentions, with one of her son's best friends. Turns out I had actually gone to the same Catholic elementary/middle school as he did, but he was a few years older. We had gone on a few dates, shared a few kisses, and made plans on a Wednesday night to watch The Matrix together at his house on Saturday. Well, Saturday rolled around, and *crickets.* Late that afternoon, I texted something along the lines of 'Hey, let me know if you still want to meet up for a movie night,' and once again *crickets* The real kicker is the dude lives one street over from me. Theoretically, I could yell in my backyard and be heard in his. Still surprised I haven't bumped into him while walking my dogs."
—Julia, 33
14. "I was seeing this guy on and off for a couple of years. He was going through boot camp, so emotions were high for a while. He finally came home and we were doing good, finally back to normal. One night, we were chatting, and he told me that his uncle and his wife were separating, and the wife was having a hard time with it. The uncle and wife had only been together for ten years, so he didn't call her his aunt, and she was coming over to talk since they had always been cool with each other. Mind you, my boyfriend was 19 at the time, and she was 46. So I, being the gracious boyfriend, told him to tell her how sorry I was and to have a good time hanging out. I didn't hear from him for two weeks after that. I heard from our mutual friend that he and his 'aunt' were together, and he never said a single word to me. Six months later, they were married and moved to California."
—Anonymous
15. "We met at a dive bar. I was with a bunch of people from work; he was with a couple of friends. He approached one of my coworkers and asked about me, and we really hit it off. The chemistry was undeniable. When my coworkers left, he and I hung back together and went to a few different places together. We made out that night, and some random person told us we seemed so in love. I don’t know what it was about him that made me trust him. He drove me home at 5:00 a.m. and spoke over the phone the rest of the week. We met up for coffee and dated for a few months."
