QUESTION: Are redhead men more physically attractive than other types of men? Via thomasknights.com ANSWER: Fuck yes they are, to state the obvious. Ben Pruchnie / Via Getty That's because their red locks shine brighter than all the other colors combined... Andrew H. Walker / Via Getty ...seducing us like a bird of paradise's mating dance. Hello, I will be yours if you'll have me? Mmmm yes. Via thomasknights.com Check out Thomas Knights' Red Hot exhibition for more hot redhead action. Good god, my pants just fell off. Via 2flashgames.com Thank you, Simon Woods, for reminding me how dumb pants are. SWEET SASSY MOLASSEY, LET ME TOUCH YOUR HAIR... JUST ONCE IS ALL I ASK. Via theberry.com OK, OK. No more yelling. Ewan McGregor becomes frightened around loud noises. Jason Merritt / Getty Images And I don't want to scare his ginger face off. Yes, fixating on one hair color is a straight-up fetish. Stuart Wilson / Via Getty And objectifying men is WRONG. Via thomasknights.com But, like, so wrong it's good...right? Via thomasknights.com So fucking good. Gareth Cattermole / Via Getty Shhh... Benedict Cumberbatch... Just let me gaze upon you in peace. UHMAHFUCKINGOD. Via thomasknights.com And yes, I know that natural redheads are only 0.5% of the world's population, so it's not even a practical fetish. Isaac Brekken / Getty Images Shaun White's like .0000001%, though, because he's a ginger gold medalist many times over, a subcategory all its own. They're like beautiful unicorns that walk among us. Via Flickr: ivanmcclellan But whatever, I'm just going to be that person with a fetish who shamelessly objectifies redhead men. Whatever, I'm DTF with it. Fernando Leon / Via Getty BTW, haiii Michael C. Hall. :::kisses::: Redheads with piercings are totally hot. Via thomasknights.com Redheads who are royals: HOT. Stefan Wermuth / Reuters Redheads with guitars and beautiful angel voices: TOTALLY DTF WITH THAT. Kevin Winter / Via Getty Haiii, Josh Homme, let's talk about doing stuff, or not doing stuff, just so long as we're talking. Redheads flaunting a touch of bicep: SUPER HOT. Charley Gallay / Via Getty Redheads with ginger beards who ALSO make you LOL... I JUST BLACKED OUT. Frazer Harrison Mark Davis / Getty Way more blacked out. Via thomasknights.com Don't wake me up, I'm happy here, JUST LEAVE ME. Chung Sung-Jun / Via Getty Hold up, hold up, I spoke too soon... Rupert Grint's magical mane is making me see the light again. Dominik Bindl / Getty Images Also, here's another cool thing about redhead men: Beach hair was basically made for them. Via theberry.com But so was spiked hair, as Rob Kazinsky proves. Frazer Harrison / Getty Images And on top of being breathtaking masterpieces, I'm sure that redhead men have great personalities, and are smart, or whatever. Via sarascoggins.buzznet.com But I don't really care about that right now, because I'm way too busy trying to wipe the drool away. Via theberry.com Maybe Seth Green will let me use his tinge of ginge beard as a drool cloth? Steve Granitz / WireImage / Getty Images Seth? Help a lady out? DROOLING. Paul A. Hebert / Getty Images I'm positively parched now. I need some water. Gah dahm, Kevin McKidd. Instead of Eddie Redmayne, feel free to simply call him RILF*. gettyimages.com / Via Getty (*AKA "Redhead I'd Like to French." And by "French," I mean that's where we'd start.) BONUS PIC: The prince with his royal hand by his royal ginger jewels. David Hartley / REX USA I can't with this right now... And BECAUSE WE ALL NEED THIS: Here are Prince Harry's ginger abs. David Hartley / REX USA MY BODY IS SO GODDAMN READY.