Animals·Posted on May 20, 201822 Weird Birds That I Want To Be When I Grow UpPlease teach me how to be cooler, birds!!!!!by Erin ChackBuzzFeed StaffFacebookPinterestTwitterMailLink 1. Greater Sage-Grouse Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Milehightraveler / Getty Images, giphy.com You are so brave, you Ben Franklin look-alike with better breasts. Please punch me in the face with those airbags. 2. Potoo Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Via giphy.com, Fabiomaffei / Getty Images You're what my anxiety would look like if it was a physical, feathered thing. I want to eat your egg yolk eyes. 3. Inca Tern Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Anolis01 / Getty Images, falseredstart.tumblr.com Cool mustache!!! I bet you ride a motorcycle powered by organic coffee grinds. 4. Kakapo Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF imgur.com, Flickr: 10565417@N03 / Via jidanchaomian I'm crying. I'm literally crying. I have never loved anything as much as I love you. Please be my husband. 5. Spoonbill Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Vladimsu / Getty Images Oh HELL yeah. I wish I could grow down into a teenager so I could decorate the walls of my bedroom with posters of you and that hair. 6. Anhinga Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Pchoui / Getty Images Goth snake bird!!! Sell me some fake weed behind the movie theatre, you are so much cooler than I'll ever be. 7. Vulturine Guineafowl Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Kyslynskyy / Getty Images, pinterest.com You look like a very expensive umbrella. Or an old man who only buys very expensive umbrellas. Either way, I could never afford you. 8. Christmas Island Frigate Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF youtube.com, Andreygudkov / Getty Images There should be a Met Gala theme dedicated to you, and only Rihanna would be brave enough to tape a giant water balloon to her throat, but you'd still be prettier. You'd still be prettier. 9. Kagu Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Manakin / Getty Images, giphy.com Are you pointy? Are you smooth? You are so convertible, rich white dudes want to drive around in you while wearing golf tees and sun-bleached visors. 10. Philippine Eagle Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF makeagif.com, Tigeryan / Getty Images Oh WOW are you a president? A bird president? Because I already voted for you in the 2020 election. 11. California Condor Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Jkauffeld / Getty Images, sdzoo.tumblr.com I don't care how many of your rich husbands you've murdered, I still want to be invited to your bridge parties. I'd laugh too loud at your jokes and steal a fancy towel from your bathroom to sleep with at night. 12. Brown Pelican Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF giphy.com, Brianlasenby / Getty Images Your face is a kangaroo and I am so impressed. Give me a ride to the airport in that flesh bag, I promise to tip you 30%. 13. Andean Cock-of-the-Rock Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Robandrew / Getty Images I would pretend to like jazz for you. I would go vegan and only drink smokey whiskeys even though they taste like a campfire. You have such power over me. 14. Resplendent Quetzal Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Mihtiander / Getty Images, rebloggy.com WHERE did you get that TOP and CAN I PLEASE borrow it? SORRY that I'm YELLING for some reASON. 15. Shoebill Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF giphy.com, Kesu01 / Getty Images I am very scared of you, but the same way I'm scared of my own dad or, like, Denzel Washington. Here's my bank account number, I'm sorry. 16. Standard-Winged Nightjar Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF commons.wikimedia.org, youtube.com Oh, I could relive my life 99 times and still never achieve this level of self-assured individuality. I'll just be over here drinking a smoothie on a park bench, googling "how to be cool" and watching you from afar. 17. Long-Wattled Umbrellabird Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF pinterest.com, commons.wikimedia.org Wow, OK!!! OK!!! Yes!!! Alright!!! Wait — What time is your band on? 18. King of Saxony Bird-of-Paradise Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF junglesinparis.com Do you know how many Instagram followers you'd have if you had an Instagram and also a phone and also hands to hold a phone and also a basic understanding of technology? At least 500. 19. Luzon Bleeding-Heart Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF youtube.com, commons.wikimedia.org Did you fly directly off of the album cover for an experimental indie dream pop band? Because I'm sure I've never heard of them. 20. Ribbon-Tailed Astrapia Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF commons.wikimedia.org, youtube.com / Via Lab Of Ornithology If you whipped me in the face with those tail feathers I'd consider it a privilege. Please be careful on escalators. 21. Wilson's Bird-of-Paradise Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF plus.google.com, commons.wikimedia.org You're everything I want to be and more!!! Too much is happening and all of it is right! I have to go lie down. 22. Superb Bird-of-Paradise Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF youtube.com / Via BBC, giphy.com I want my wedding vows projected on your billboard face. You're it. The original weird bird. I pray to you every night. God bless.