You've stayed in on a Friday night just to spend time together.You've canceled existing plans with other people to stay in on a Friday night just to spend time together.You've accidentally worn very similar outfits at the same time.You've snuggled for less than five minutes and rolled to opposite sides of the bed so you could get a real night of sleep.You've survived a vacation together.You've survived an Ikea trip together.Your anniversary is like a bonus holiday and you actively look forward to it.You've burped in front of each other.You've farted in front of each other.You've peed in front of each other.You've shit in front of each other.You've done all these things without even pausing for a second to consider if it's weird.You've helped each other inspect strange bumps in hard-to-reach places."When are you two getting married?"You have the story of how you met rehearsed and ready to go in your head.You've had to schedule time apart because apparently it's frowned upon to spend all your time with one person.You've had to defend monogamy in a drunken debate.None of your friends take your dating advice seriously because the last time you were single things were ~different~.You're never totally sure what to do on Valentine's Day.You know secret ways to cheer them up that wouldn't work on anyone else, like your Danny DeVito impression.There are dating apps that you've barely heard of."How long have you guys been dating?"You can tell how the other is feeling just by looking at them.You can communicate by barely speaking.You can communicate without speaking at all.You share grooming products.Your inside jokes are horrible, but there's nothing funnier in the universe to you.It's physically impossible to embarrass yourself in front of them.You are comfortable talking to their parents on the phone.You regularly text members of their family.You have them listed as an emergency contact somewhere."Where's your other half?"Money moves between you so frequently you have no idea whose is what.They know your deepest, darkest secret.You know theirs.You barely notice their morning breath anymore.You can talk about which strangers you find attractive without them getting jealous.You've had full conversations about your bodily functions.When you're together, pants are optional.You can successfully order a meal for them.They're the only ones who can talk about your insecurities without you drowning in a pool of self-loathing.You've fallen asleep during sex.You've purposely had sex in under five minutes.You've had "I just need to cum" sex.You can hold a conversation about their hobby because you've absorbed so much information about it.You've actually tried their hobby.You have weird names for each other that you never use in public.You've had to get them a towel because they forgot to bring one into the bathroom.Ditto: toilet paper.You think they look amazing first thing in the morning.You've murdered a hell bug together.You've binged an entire Netflix series together."You're just hungry."You know their favorite color, food, and lucky number.You can't imagine being with anyone else.
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