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TVAndMovies

A Definitive Ranking Of Wedding Movies I've Never Seen Based Solely On What I Think They're About

This list'll make you say, "I do...agree with this ranking!"

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17. The Wedding Ringer

Screen Gems

What I think the plot is about: Kaley Cuoco's fiancé's douchebag friends won't stop burping into the mic at their wedding rehearsal so she hires Kevin Hart to play best man. The DBs still manage to get a few burps in at the reception, though, and Kaley realizes she wants a divorce before they even cut the cake.

16. The Proposal

Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures

What I think the plot is about: Ryan Reynolds's heart is made out of the same material they make airport metal detectors out of, so he can't go near certain objects or he'll start beeping. Sandra Bullock, his boss, spends the entire movie trying to figure out where that damn beeping is coming from. Also, she's engaged.

15. Bridesmaids

Universal Pictures

What I think the plot is about: Maya Rudolph has done the impossible: She has managed to have five actual friends as an adult. Her fiancé, a normal person with only one or two friends, can't find enough groomsmen to balance out the wedding party. In the end he winds up asking his cousins who feel obligated because they're family, and the wedding is a pleasant though slightly awkward affair.

13. The Wedding Date

Universal Studios

What I think the plot is about: Debra Messing gets a rare plus-one to her cousin's wedding and decides to bring a random Tinder date. They have great chemistry but, after talking with Debrah's grandmother over shrimp cocktail, realize they are distantly related.

12. Mama Mia!

Universal Pictures

What I think the plot is about: Amanda Seyfried's family are all professional conga-line dancers despite the fact that they are the Whitest People On Earth™. Her fiancé, Colin Firth, spends the entire movie trying to figure out which direction to conga.

11. 27 Dresses

20th Century Fox

What I think the plot is about: Katherine Heigl has no body; she's just arms and a head. It takes the entire movie and many, many dresses to find a tailor who can fit her for her wedding gown. But, at the very end, we find out her fiancé is just a torso and legs and everyone's hearts collectively melt.

10. I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

Universal Pictures

What I think the plot is about: Adam Sandler realizes on the day of his wedding that he suuuper doesn't want to get married, so he sets the venue on fire. Unfortunately fireman Kevin James saves everyone and Adam has to get married standing in the charred remains of the Hackensack Elks Club. Also, he's broke.

9. Runaway Bride

Paramount Pictures

What I think the plot is about: Julia Roberts is a professional track & field athlete who has to delay her wedding because she qualified for the Olympics! Richard Gere is her supportive dad.

8. The Wedding Planner

Columbia Pictures

What I think the plot is about: Matthew McCouhgajgahay is a workaholic wedding planner who never has time for himself. J-Lo is his kid sister who encourages him to go on a few dates. Eventually he meets a wonderful man and gets to plan the greatest wedding of all: his own. Real life J-Lo performs at their wedding, but she's played by Shakira.

7. Father of the Bride

Touchstone Pictures

What I think the plot is about: Steve Martin's wife is a blood-sucking sea lamprey, and their children, half-human-half-blood-sucking-sea-lampreys, can't help but latch onto human flesh when it is presented to them. His daughter is nervous about marrying a full-human-non-sea-lamprey, but Steve reminds her true love judges not.

5. My Best Friend's Wedding

TriStar Pictures

What I think the plot is about: Julia Roberts is an off-the-rails kleptomaniac. Her friends think she's stopped stealing ever since she started attending group therapy sessions, but spoiler: she hasn't and she doesn't. At her best friend's wedding she swipes $424 of top shelf liquor, eight wallets, and the toppers right off the cake.

4. Four Weddings And A Funeral

Rank Film Distributors

What I think the plot is about: The stress of planning four weddings for his quintuplet daughters literally kills Hugh Grant. The end.

3. My Big Fat Greek Wedding

IFC Films

What I think the plot is about: Nia Vardalos's entire family suffers from the Bubble Boy disease and has to spend their lives sealed in a germ-free glass tube. Luckily she falls in love with a professional window cleaner who helps Nia keep her family's tube sparkling.

2. The Wedding Singer

New Line Cinema

What I think the plot is about: Actually, I've totally seen this one. Adam Sandler is a wedding singer and falls in love with Drew Barrymore. That's it, that's the whole plot. And somehow, I liked it???

1. Bride Wars

20th Century Fox

What I think the plot is about: Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway are a lesbian couple who met while serving a military tour in Iraq. They love each other very much and can't wait to start a life together. There's zero conflict in this movie, and when it ends you just sit there thinking, wow what a beautiful relationship.

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