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1.Miracle-Gro plant food spikes, because you bought 15 new plant friends to keep you company this year and now you're realizing you have no idea how to care for so many. They're small and discreet, but can feed your houseplants for up to ~two months~ with micronutrients so having thriving greenery doesn't involve as much effort.
2.And! A Miracle-Gro leaf shine solution so your indoor collection can go from "well, they're alive" to "that is one HEALTHY plant!" Anything for the plant 'gram, right?
3.Leakproof period panties that'll free you from the peril of tampons so you can work out (hellooooo free range of motion!), stay out all day, and sleep all night without wondering if your backside (or blanket) has a lovely red stain. Tl;dr: you'll be much more comfortable *and* not have to put life on pause just because you're on your period.
4.A Kong binkie customized for a growing puppy's baby teeth and gums so you can help your precious fur child comfortably get through teething *without* chewing on every single thing you own. I can hear your shoes sighing of relief.
5.A Rain-X glass treatment for consistently protecting your car windows from rain water blocking your view while driving. Basically it'll repel the rain (and reduce sleet, ice, and snow) so you can still see clearly while braving the roads.
6.Glass leakproof storage containers, because it's been an entire year of you working through lunch instead of making a quick meal. These'll help you meal prep just enough to feel prepared for busy WFH days ahead, but not store *so* much food that you get sick of it within three days (🙋♀️).
7.Keurig cleaning cups that'll let you regularly deep-clean your machine as easily as you make a single cup of joe. All you have to do is pop it in and wait — so long drinking funky coffee because you're too lazy to figure out your machine.
8.High-waisted bike shorts in a variety of solid to fun designs so you can *finally* find a version of this trend that doesn't squeeze your thighs. These are actually l-o-v-e-d equally by a range of body types — meaning the days of your shorts riding up are officially behind you.
9.Mented semi matte nude lipsticks so you can *kiss* flaky lips goodbye thanks to their super hydrating formula. And! They're specifically designed to complement any complexion, meaning this is the lipstick for anyone who can never find the right nude shade. Consider that a 2020 problem now.
10.A hard water stain-remover, because this'll FINALLY help you overcome your hard water problems, and get those darn faucets or even your shower head back to shiny new — I know having water spots despite scrubbing every week has been a burden on your heart. No longer.
Just look at how well it works on shower doors, too! Finally the bathroom you work so hard for 🙌.
11.A cold brew coffee maker that'll bring quality iced coffee back into your life — I know you've been trying to put ice cubes in hot coffee. It's not working. And! Once you realize this is just as good as Starbs, you'll save $5 every day whenever we go back to our offices.
12.A shoe whitener for making your seriously worn-down sneakers look shockingly clean — the white sneaker trend may be comfy, but it is t e d i o u s. No longer, now that we have this trick up our...sock?
13.An adjustable satin bonnet you can depend on to fit *just* the way you want it to, instead of dealing with your current one slipping and pulling. And! It's extra soft, lined with silk to avoid tangling, and designed to fit over big hair, locs, and braids.
14.A jar of Museum Gel, because this'll protect your fragile belongings from getting knocked over by your cat...RIP your last five vases. It's a clear adhesive that was originally designed to keep artwork safe from falling in galleries, but reviewers use it for protecting their things (vases, pots, anything on a shelf) from cats and earthquakes!
15.A stronghold pomade that'll keep your edges looking perfect all darn day. Its argan oil formula is designed to absorb quickly without leaving oily residue, nourish and hydrate your locks, *and* provide long-lasting hold.
16.Multi-purpose sponges reviewers say last an impressively long time and make cleaning tough messes a breeze. They have two sides: one made of soft microfiber, and the other extra-tough scrubbing bristles. Plus! They're machine-washable, so you won't have to replace them for quite some time.
17.An air pressure wine opener that'll make sure you can always conquer stubborn corks — there's just about zero strength required when using this. Just insert the "needle" into the cork, press the plunger down a few times, and voilà, you have your vino ready. "Thank you" —my noodle arms.
18.A Glossier milk jelly cleanser that'll both gently refresh your face in the morning, and completely melt away makeup at the end of the day. It's soothing, nourishing, and perfect for sensitive skin — aka yearlong dewy skin awaits.
19.A compact lap desk reviewers use to work comfortably from the couch, but more importantly to easily eat in their car. If you've been spending the past few months getting takeout all over your seats (or having to eat it cold once home), this will quickly become your favorite passenger.
20.A cell phone grip for making sure you can text, scroll through Instagram, FaceTime, WHATEVER with just one hand — aka you can finally stop dropping your phone every time you try to multitask.
21.A front-closure cotton bra so you can rely on full-coverage support *without* getting stabbed by underwire 50 times a day. People with DD+ breasts, breastfeeders, and those recovering from breast-related surgeries love this for its comfort, convenience, and gentle lift.
22.An argan oil conditioner, because this'll help your stressed-out tresses recover if you understandably haven't been able to go to a hairdresser in a while. Reviewers say this not only repairs dried, frizzy tresses, but promotes pro-looking shine and bounce.
23.A cushioned knee pad that'll offer a ~pain-free~ solution to awkward home workouts should you decide to make this the year you do a push-up. It'll protect your joints while you do floor exercises so you can focus on the video, instead of aches and pains. Maybe now planking won't scare us so much!
24.A squeegee broom for not only making it easy to sweep up spills and crumbs, but collecting your buried hair with maximum efficiency. Anyone with long hair...you know what I mean when I say your rug could use it. Probably at *least* once a month.
25.A bottle of Radha Beauty rosehip oil so you can make this the year you tackle redness, scarring, pimples, and everything in-between. Reviewers use this before bed and wake up to ✨glowing✨, healing skin! Nothing will get in your way of clear skin again...not on this bb's watch.
26.A cotton yarn hanging basket, because this'll take all that clutter living on...every single surface of your small apartment...and give them a proper home. Oh look, you can see your bathroom sink again! Doesn't the room seem so much bigger now?
27.Marble car coasters that'll protect your car from sticky messes *and* add a little cute decor to your ride (who knew?). Anyone who drives almost every day knows how useful these can be.
28.Silicone reusable straws for ditching wasteful plastic straws in favor of something a lot more chic, anyway. Reviewers say they're long enough for smoothie and Starbucks cups, but the best part? You can toss 'em in the dishwasher.
29.An African black soap face wash so you can reap all the benefits of the popular soap bar formula, but streamline it to an easy-to-use pump. Not only will this be faster to use if you just want it for your face, but its shea butter will *also* leave your skin smoother. Clearer, softer skin with less effort? Yes. Please.
30.A unique food bowl designed to slow your pet down when eating, so you can teach them how to pace themselves while scarfing down kibble. It can help them digest better *and* prevent food waste.
31.Stainless steel-cleaning wipes, because these'll officially ban pesky streaks from your kitchen. They'll not only make it easy to polish any stainless steel surfaces, but *protect* them from future fingerprints, grease, and whatever else threatens the state of your fridge.
32.No-show socks that'll finally end your battle with blisters. Reviewers PROMISE these actually a) stay on your feet and b) won't make an unwelcome appearance midday. Plus, they wick away sweat so you and your outfit can stay high and dry.
33.A Cetaphil Pro clay mask for joining the thousands of people who *swear* by this for helping with hormonal acne — including those with sensitive skin! It's gentler than most bentonite clay masks, absorbs excess oil, and keeps tough breakouts at bay, making this a super simple yet effective 2021 acne care routine.
34.A jalapeño corer so you can prepare your favorite dishes without getting seeds all over your fingers (don't. touch. your. eyes.) *and* speed up the process altogether.
35.An ice cube tray because this'll make nugget-shaped iced cubes, aka the best kind, available right at home. If you're always wishing you could save the kind from your fave fast food spots, this is for you.
36.Face mask brushes that'll upgrade your beauty routine with tools that feel like h-e-a-v-e-n on your skin and prevent you from wasting product. Why are these better than your fingers, you ask? Fingers = acne-causing bacteria. Silicone = germ-free, no breakouts.
Me getting ready to ring in the new year with my last two brain cells:
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