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    32 Gifts For Anyone Whose Specialty Is Hating Everyone

    Scrooge had a lot of good points, to be honest.

    We hope you love the products we recommend! All of them were independently selected by our editors. Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page if you decide to shop from them. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

    1. A fleece blanket with sleeves that'll reward them for successfully avoiding humans and staying single all this time. No blanket hogs = no cold arms.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "I work in an office that is ALWAYS freezing. My coworkers and I are constantly under heated blankets or bundled in jackets. The primary issue with the blanket was it made it difficult to type, so I decided to put all shame aside and look into this. For the price, this is definitely the one to get! Why get a cheap-o fleece one when you can get one that feels plush and very warm? The blue color is great and I've gotten a lot of compliments about how I look like the regal queen of the office with the fuzzy cuffs. My coworkers liked it so much, many of them ordered the exact same one for themselves! I honestly really love this thing and will probably end up buying more." —borderrat906

    Get it from Amazon for $24.99 (available in nine styles).

    2. A Slytherin pom-pom beanie for letting them proudly display their obvious house. They're not snobby, they're selective. But they may hiss at you in parseltongue.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "I LOVE IT! The knitting is soft and the Slytherin patch is legit. Now I gotta represent House Slytherin in front of all these muggles." —Dave

    Get it from Amazon for $18.95 (available in all four houses and two styles).

    3. And! A Harry Potter insults handbook so your friend can tell their Draco of a coworker that they're the fourth Unforgivable Curse.

    Amazon

    It's packed with magically witty comebacks so you're never left without a zinger when confronted with He Who Must Not Be Named — your boss.

    Promising review: "I gave this as a gift to my brother, a fellow Harry Potter fan. We were cracking up over the phone while he hand-selected a few of the one-liners. This is definitely a great gift idea!" —EESA

    Get it from Amazon for $7.99.

    4. A plush sloth headrest, because they'll be ~slow~ to leave this safe cocoon when escaping from the constant chattering of people on the train. Everyone be QUIET.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "I originally bought this for traveling since I've found myself on airplanes and long car rides a lot — the cute sloth hood is perfect for covering your eyes while sleeping! But, I've definitely been using it for more than traveling — as others have said, it's great for napping and for lounging around at home since it's super cute and comfortable." —Kimberly Punzalan

    Get it from Amazon for $40.38.

    5. A jumbo stress relief toy that'll come to the rescue when everyone in the whole world seems to *succ*. Just tell them to squeeze and repeat.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "Unlike other cacti, this one is so much fun to touch and play with! It's really soft, not sticky at all, and has a pleasant scent. It may seem expensive, but it's actually worth the price!" —Susan

    Get it from Amazon for $8.99.

    6. A pair of oversized sunglasses for giving them a way to hide from public in plain sight, aka when they see someone from high school. RUN.

    Free People, amazon.com

    Promising review (for the sunglasses on the right): "These are a total luxury for what you pay! They came fast and packaged very well I've already received tons of compliments and people can't believe how little I paid! I will definitely be buying from SoJos again." —Samantha Briegel

    Get the first pair from Free People for $25 and the second pair from Amazon for $13.95 (available in 12 colors).

    7. A friendly patch so people have fair warning before even approaching your sociable loved one. RBF is very intentional for them.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "I absolutely LOVE my patch. It's big like I wanted!" —Dom

    Get it from Amazon for $9.99 (available in 16 styles).

    8. A handy notepad, because being passive aggressive just isn't cutting it for them anymore. It's time to be direct — Steve from accounting CANNOT keep sneezing that loudly.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "I stuck this in my glove box and have only used it a couple of times when someone really had no clue how to park their car. It gets the point across and you only need to check a couple of boxes. No more searching for a used candy wrapper or Starbucks sleeve to leave a note on the car of a serious offender."

    Get it from Amazon for $5.30 (available in 24 styles).

    9. A subscription to Winc that'll deliver very important adult juice right to their door on a monthly basis. They'll be thanking you when they have vino to undo their whole day of listening to their grad teacher say their name wrong.

    instagram.com, instagram.com

    WE HAVE ONE MONTH LEFT. LEARN MY NAME.

    Give a Winc gift card for $13+ per bottle, or gift a subscription for $39+/month (plus free shipping when you order four bottles).

    For more info, check out "This Wine Subscription Service Will Change Your Life".

    10. And! An attachable wine cupholder for encouraging them to down said vino in a relaxing bath after being *drained* from a long day of unnecessary interactions.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "I bought this for my friend for her birthday and she LOVES it! It provides a good seal and she loves drinking in her tub and pool. It made a great gift along with some nice wine and beer. She actually told me she could another for her husband they love it so much, and their friends are asking her where she got it. It's a great gift and I would definitely buy it again and recommend it!" —Maria

    Get it from Amazon for $13.95 (available in six colors).

    11. A pair of heartwarming pins so you can bask in the true meaning of friendship — the ability to complain about everyone else in life. Who needs more than one friend, anyway?

    Etsy

    Promising review: "I bought this for myself and my best friend, because she was having a really rough few weeks. She loves it, and now the black one is on her jacket and the pink one is on my vest. It's the perfect BFF gift, because everyone but her sucks." —CoffeeCatCreations

    Get it from The Lantern Girl Shop on Etsy for $13.

    12. A necessary lunch tote, because if Clark "accidentally" takes their leftovers ONE MORE TIME there will be hell to pay. It's also very effective for dissuading people from asking your friend to join them in the cafeteria.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "Love this bag. I've gotten so many compliments on it. It's small, but big enough to bring my lunch to work and not take too much space in the shared fridge. It's easy to clean and super cute." —Amazon Customer

    Get it from Amazon for $9.99 (available in 13 styles).

    13. A pair of ~cheeky~ underwear that'll let them know you love them, even when they plot to destroy everyone's Christmas and steal their trees. Aren't they adorable when they're mad?

    Free People

    Promising review: "I got these for my sister — they’re so cute! They’re soft and the lace is beautiful, I love them." —GabrielaM

    Get them from Free People for $38 (available in sizes XS-L).

    14. A dishwasher magnet for giving them a cute, non-aggressive way to tell their roommate that dishes don't unload themselves. Despite what it seems, bowls don't grow legs and climb back to their shelf.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "This is an awesome little magnet. I thought it would go on there and we would always forget to rotate it, but we don't. It makes it easier to make sure we know what's clean and dirty." —Mike D.

    Get it from Amazon for $5.95.

    15. A comforting coloring book to remind them it could be a lot worse — they could be a T-Rex who's supposed to be extinct, but is instead working at a library where they can't reach anything anyway, due to tragically short arms.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "This coloring book is absolutely my favorite coloring book! I bought two of them (one for me and one for a friend) and it keeps me laughing. Most of my coloring books are the same thing — paisley designs meant to keep you calm, but I find them to be overwhelming which is so not the point of adult coloring. This one is simple in design with captions of what's going on in the picture and I love it. I mean come on...dinosaurs with jobs? Sign me up!" —Jeanann

    Get it from Amazon for $7.99.

    16. A cuddly poop pillow who won't give a sh*t when your friend comes home only to cry to it every night about the bull crap everyone puts them through.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "This is the best gift ever. It's high quality and looks just like the picture. I checked out quite a few different vendors and I'm so glad I went with this one." —MBAmama@home

    Get it from Amazon for $7.99 (available in two styles).

    17. A heat sensitive, color-changing mug with a powerful reminder so they can stop themselves from changing their name and fleeing the country before even finishing their first cup of coffee.

    amazon.com

    Promising review: "This product is exactly as advertised, it came nicely packaged with plenty of padding. The color change works perfectly with hot water from a Keurig and the image shows up perfectly. It made a wonderful gift!" —Lauren Atkins

    Get it from Amazon for $14.99.

    18. A pair of wireless bluetooth headphones, because these'll block out the sounds of random people on the train crying to their phone about trash boyfriends. HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU, SANDRA. HANG UP.

    Amazon

    They're foldable and have five EQ modes, memory-foam ear cushions, and a built-in mic so that they're compatible with all smart phones!

    Promising review: "These headphones have really good quality microphone and sound. They're not heavy on the head like some other headphones, and they're comfortable. I usually listen to music while doing my job. I don't know how to explain it, but it supports long distance when I go to another bedroom or in the backyard. I don't lose connection. The battery life lasts several hours — enough to get your job done. I'm really happy with it and I do recommend it!" —Hashem Beitvashahi

    Get them from Amazon for $29.87 (available in two colors).

    See what won best wireless headphones on BuzzFeed Reviews.

    19. A blunt T-shirt that'll stop people in their tracks when approaching your friend to hit on them at the bar. Please stop this. They'll never leave their home again.

    Forever 21

    Now it'll be another six months before they're convinced to come out again.

    Get them from Forever 21: the shirt on the left for $9.90 (available in sizes S-L) and the shirt on the right for $12.90 (available in sizes 0X-3X).

    20. A cell phone desk stand holder for making it easier for them to text you all day with updates about how infuriatingly loud their cubicle mate breathes.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "The price seemed high for what it is. But I'm SO GLAD I overcame my hesitation and bought this extremely well-made, heavy-duty, high-end-looking phone desk stand. The matte finish and elegant curves look great on my desk at work. The thick aluminum is no toy. Unless it's run over by a car it'll outlive me." —OLdweeb

    Get it from Amazon for $7.98 (available in four colors).

    21. A hospitable doormat so they can keep small talk to a minimum — the faster random people leave, the better.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "I love this doormat — it's not too heavy but stays put well. The texture makes it extremely easy to clean your shoes off before your walk in the house." —Sarah G

    Get it from Amazon for $18.43.

    22. A BFF velvet pillow set, because they'll rest easy at night knowing there's at least one person in the world who gets them: YOU! Be honored you won them over.

    Urban Outfitters

    Get it from Urban Outfitters for $69.

    23. A stylish flask that'll stay attached to their *hip* the next time they force themselves to attend a party. Who are these people? Why are they so loud?

    Amazon

    Promising review: "This looks just like the picture! The quality of the product is very good, and it is heavier then I thought it would be. The price is spot-on for this product." —Ian vanspronsen

    Get it from Amazon for $16.99 (available in five styles).

    24. A pair of silicone ear plugs for a) drowning out their "unbearably loud" roommate at night, and b) avoiding any chance of them becoming any more tired/irritable than usual. The more well-rested the better.

    amazon.com, Amazon

    Plus, because these are reusable they'll save you money from buying the disposable kind! AND they're designed to be super comfortable in your ears and come with travel case and pouch.

    Promising review: "These are amazing — so comfortable and easy to insert. They completely seal off your ears. I got them for my son. He suffers from insomnia. He's overtired, and cranky. He complains if I try to have a phone conversation or watch TV quietly in another room with closed doors between us. Not today! I've been talking on the phone with him sleeping like a rock in the next room — no more complaints! Since it came with two pairs, I kept one for myself. I slept so soundly! Everyone is happy and well rested. I highly recommend them and I never want to be without them again." —Nikki A.

    Get a set of two from Amazon for $9.95.

    25. A set of A'Pieu eye masks so they can literally release some *steam* after a long, long day of teaching their mom how to make a screenshot. JUST PRESS THE TWO BUTTONS. NO. AT THE SAME TIME.

    Soko Glam

    These eye masks heat up immediately upon opening and stay heated for 20 minutes.

    Get a set of five from Soko Glam for $10 or from Amazon for $7.50.

    26. A gilded Grimhilde crossbody bag, because they understand where Disney villains are coming from. Imagine your own MIRROR telling you that you're not that pretty? So rude.

    ModCloth

    Get it from ModCloth for $39.99 (originally $68).

    27. A pair of truthful socks that'll explain all those times they wouldn't come down for dinner. They knew their parents were lying about it "being ready." YOU JUST WANT ME TO SET THE TABLE.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "I love these! They're made of soft cotton and don't itch!" —MissAlison

    Get them from Amazon for $11.65.

    28. A relatable sweatshirt for letting random passersby on the street know that they *will* pet their dogs without asking, and they *won't* make any human eye contact. Thank you, next.

    Etsy

    Promising review: "It's just as pictured, I received quickly, and it's in perfect condition. I love it!" —Courtney Studley

    Get it from Sew Kreative by LM on Etsy for $24.95 (available in sizes S-XL).

    29. A Festivus celebration kit so they can finally share their grievances loud and clear. This is the real meaning of holiday spirit.

    Amazon

    This trouble maker includes a nine-inch tall Festivus pole with four buttons that play audio of Frank Costanza, five Human Fund donation gift cards, and two magnets. You bring your own grievances.

    Promising review: "This is so much fun and more than I expected. I bought for my son (a Seinfeld fan) to put on his desk at work for Christmas/Festivus celebrating. Everything shown is in the box and it just captures the magic of Seinfeld's Festivus celebration. I love to hear George's father's voice and laugh every time." —Mary Mary

    Get it from Amazon for $7.08.

    30. An insightful phone case, because you just KNOW they're going through unwelcome texts and judging. Even worse is when they scroll through their Instagram — "oh look, another engagement shoot. Mute."

    Society6

    Promising review: "I love this case. The print quality is great, as is the design." —Taylor H.

    Get it from Alesia Fisher on Society6 for $26.99 (originally $35.99).

    31. A much-needed stamp that'll put classmates in their place when they try to only do ONE powerpoint slide. They need to invite everyone in their group projects to their funeral, so that they can let them down one more time.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "I bought this for my girlfriend who has a very Office Space-esque work environment. TLDR; I got her one of these to stamp reports and other errors, etc, etc, and she flipped her shiz when I gave it to her. It came with a fresh ink pad and was ready to go." —NomDePlum

    Get it from Amazon for $8.29.

    32. A warning cap for giving them a way to let people on the subway know that they need to BACK OFF. They really don't care if there isn't any room.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "I love it. It's a good fit and the denim is just the right shade. It's a great style." —B. J.

    Get it from Amazon for $9.95.

    Your friend: "Take your holiday spirit..."

    NBC

    The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.

    Want even ~more~ ideas for your favorite anti-social friend? Check out "22 Gifts For Anyone Who Hates Everyone".

    Looking for the perfect gift for any occasion? Check out all of BuzzFeed’s gift guides!

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