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    Updated Dec 13, 2018

    22 Gifts For Anyone Who Hates Everyone

    *Throws phone away so you never have to talk to anyone ever again.*

    We hope you love the products we recommend! Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a small share of sales from the links on this page. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

    1. An approachable mug so you can say "psych!" every time a person tries to come your way.

    amazon.com

    Promising review: "I got this for my retired father who lives with me. He now uses it to passive-aggressively provide feedback to much of my morning chatter. This has brought him an innumerable amount of happiness and glee." —Andrew A. Russell

    Get it from Amazon for $8.12.

    2. A travel book with a whopping 500 where-to-visit recommendations that'll help plan your escape, I mean trip. When you ask your boss for vacation days just say five or so, not forever. They'll figure it out.

    amazon.com

    Brought to you by a community of travel experts who ranked 500 sights and attractions (some well-known, some hidden) so you can build an impressive bucket list.

    Promising review: "I bought this for my mother as a Christmas present. She is a traveler and she absolutely loved it. We spent a good hour looking through every page together. The photos are beautiful and it showed us some amazing places that we would've never thought to travel to." —jaclyn o.

    Get it from Amazon for $17.49.

    3. An inflatable travel hoodie pillow for any occasion, even when you're awake. When you're hidden, you're safe.

    amazon.com

    Promising review: "One of the best neck pillows I've owned. Inflatable so you can alter the firmness, and the soft hood is great to pull up for privacy, to keep you warm, and to pull over your eyes to sleep... Been using this for travel but even more at home." —Jody L. Haggart

    Get it from Amazon for $24.95 (available in five colors).

    4. A therapeutic coloring book so you can fill in the blanks about how terrible you find everyone around you.

    amazon.com

    Promising review: "I got this as a present for a friend and she absolutely loves it! The way the pages are set up make it easy to color without worrying about transferring onto another image. The book is super durable and the content is beyond hilarious. A perfect gift for any adult!" —Samantha Bradley

    Get it from Amazon for $5.99.

    5. A pocket IQ test kit to use on just about everyone who hits "reply all" on company-wide emails.

    anrdoezrs.net

    It includes 60 questions and answers, sample questions to get you ~ready~, and scoring cards.

    Get it from Cost Plus World Market for $9.99.

    6. A sneaky flask bracelet that'll really come in handy when a Jersey Shore lookalike persistently tries to get your number.

    amazon.com

    Pro tip: Take his phone and call his mom. He's past his curfew.

    Promising review: "It arrived early, exactly as pictured. The bangle makes a great gift. It is pretty AND funny!" —Margaret W.

    Get it from Amazon for $10.99+ (available in three colors).

    7. A baseball cap for when you get the tea and manage to mind your own business at the same time. Are you secretly judging? Of course.

    amazon.com

    Get it from Amazon for $9.99+ (available in four colors).

    8. A Festivus celebration kit, because it's finally time to share your grievances loud and clear.

    anrdoezrs.net

    This includes a 9-inch tall Festivus pole with four buttons that play audio of Frank Costanza, five Human Fund donation gift cards, and two magnets. You bring your own grievances.

    Get it from Amazon for $7.09.

    9. A stress-relieving sack for when people are busting your balls.

    amazon.com

    Promising review: "It's an amazing stress reliever. I got this as a present for my girlfriend who works at Lexus dealership and deals with some people that are a bit of a pain. Our conversations went way down on stress level from her side." —Roman_924567

    Get it from Amazon for $15.99.

    10. A pair of blunt socks so people know you're not horsing around when you say leave me be.

    amazon.com

    Promising review: "I fell in love with these socks, they are hilarious! I think I bought a ton during Christmas for my friends and family and everyone just loves them!" —Amy

    Get them from Amazon for $10.99.

    11. An honest stamp to slam down on Tom's shit excuse for "contribution" to a group project.

    amazon.com

    THIS IS ONE POWERPOINT SLIDE.

    Promising review: "I try to use this sparingly at my writers' workshop. But every now and then, someone will hand me a manuscript with birds calling their bird friends on their cell phones and next thing you know, BAM, they get the stamp. I recommend using it publicly if at all possible. It's not just a stamp — it's an event." —Red Panda

    Get it from Amazon for $8.29.

    12. A guide to surviving the wilderness for when you inevitably snap and move into a cave.

    amazon.com

    Promising review: "I can't say enough good things about this book. Whether you are experienced in the outdoors or a novice, a hunter or weekend hiker, you will learn something from this book. I've been a fan of Dave Canterbury for several years and I appreciate his simple traditional approach to spending time in the woods." —Brian E. Baker

    Get it from Amazon for $14.67 or Barnes and Noble for $12.68.

    13. A crying emoji pillow so you two can sob together as your mom calls because she needs help taking a screenshot again.

    amazon.com

    Get it from Amazon for $7.99 (available in 11 styles).

    14. A therapeutic pad to actually send someone a message instead of screaming into the nothingness after your neighbor decides to hang up their art at 11 p.m.

    amazon.com

    Promising review: "Love these. Use them when you're mad, so you don't say something you can't take back later. You'll get a laugh and be heard at the same time." —Blondegirlfrnd

    Get it from Amazon for $5.30.

    15. A boyfriend pillow, because the nights can be lonely but sharing the bed is a whole lot worse.

    amazon.com

    Get it from Amazon for $39.95+ (available in seven colors).

    16. A pack of ecstatic balloons that'll show how you really feel when you're forced to attend coworker's birthdays.

    amazon.com

    I was told there'd be cake...

    Get a 25-pack of assorted colors from Amazon for $12.95.

    17. An effective stress reduction kit to use in emergencies, like when your boss asks you to come in on Saturday because they need help with Excel.

    amazon.com

    Promising review: "Had two people 'use' the kit in my office the first day I hung it on the wall." —Amazon Customer

    Get it from Amazon for $12.99.

    18. A crazy cat lady action figure so you can gaze into your future after you get another "wyd" text at 2 a.m.

    amazon.com

    NOT YOU. NOT NOW. NOT EVER.

    Promising review: "Oh my gosh. I love, love, love this crazy cat lady action figure! It is soooooo awesome! I bought two of them and shared the other one with a very special crazy cat lady friend. It is just the cutest silliest thing ever and suits me to a T." —Beverly L Guy

    Get it from Amazon for $10.81.

    19. A wine monkey sock, because now you're technically not drinking alone — though that's usually a better way to end the day, anyway.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "This cheesy cooler cheaply keeps corked cabernet chilled and quickly causes classy couples to chuckle quite consistently." —steven bailey

    Get it from Amazon for $12.29.

    20. A pair of bluetooth headphones that'll block out the noise of some girl crying about her boyfriend. HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU, HANG UP.

    amazon.com

    They have a built-in FM radio, and you can use a TF/Micro SD card with loaded MP3 music and listen to the songs directly on your headphones.

    Promising review: "I absolutely love these headphones!! I bought them for working out and they stay on really well, I was actually surprised. Great sound and hooks up to my Android perfectly. Would recommend these!" —chelsbrookeh

    Get them from Amazon for $22.99+ (available in eight colors).

    21. A set of stickers to reward yourself for the very hard task of keeping your cool all day, even when your roommate takes over the bathroom for two hours.

    amazon.com

    Promising review: "Such a great book! The stickers (as well as the introductory commentary) are so witty and spot-on! I love that it also has a few pages of blank stickers so you can create your own stickers. This would make a great gift for anyone who understands the struggle to adult is real." —Emily Folks

    Get it from Amazon for $13.46.

    22. A Doge coin purse with major side eye that'll keep you company when Susan asks about your weekend plans AGAIN.

    amazon.com

    UMM I WATCHED TV FOR 14 HOURS.

    Promising review: "Got this as a gift for someone and we both loved it! Great quality for the price." —Lovelasts

    Get it from Amazon for $6.99.

    When you get hit with that "why don't we talk anymore?" text:

    MTV

    The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.

    Do your holiday shopping with BuzzFeed. Check out all our gift guides here!

    Allison Kraussman / BuzzFeed

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