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1. An assortment of Milk Bar cookies from the iconic New York-based bakery, aka the ultimate birthday bragging right — ordinarily you have to stand in line for a bajillion years for one of these!
2. A lovely-smelling Star Wars hand sanitizer so both the Force *and* the germ-killing ethyl alcohol can be with them.
3. A "because quarantine birthday" wineglass they can use to toast to everyone in the Zoom birthday chat after y'all sing "Happy Birthday" in nine different (but no less enthusiastic!!) keys.
4. A tiny milk frother to make everything they drink taste like it was lovingly handcrafted by a barista.
5. A wine caddy for their bath tub perfect for any birthday vibe, whether it's "set off a bath bomb and channel my inner mermaid" or "sit here and watch reruns of The Office until the water dissolves around me."
6. An easy-to-follow bubble tea kit for anyone whose summer vibe is "boba."
7. A soft, lightweight tie-dye pajama set that'll arrive just in time for all their on-trend summer lounging needs.
8. A bottle of a game-changing mango avocado hot sauce for any foodie friend who will appreciate a new condiment in their lockdown cooking arsenal.
9. A set of two puzzles celebrating their two favorite things — books and kitties 📚🐈.
10. An assortment of international snacks, so they can go on their own little journey from the comfort of their own couch.
11. A silicone Nutella AirPods case so they can prop it next to an actual full-sized Nutella jar and caption it, "Don't ever talk to me or my son ever again."
12. A ridiculously adorable Baby Yoda tee that will make them smile every time they put it on.
13. An Animal Crossing candle so they can throw an on-brand party with all their villagers.
14. A socially distanced birthday card they can keep propped up on their table to make you feel close even when you're miles away.
15. A time-marked water bottle you can get in a ton of different colors for anyone who lives in a constant state of "oops, forgot to drink water today." This is not only motivating and easy to use, it's also designed to fit into car cup holders and has a lil' button by the mouthpiece to pop the cap off for easy access.
16. A six-layer cake with a surprise rainbow inside from Carlo's Bakery (aka the Cake Boss), because everyone knows that cake tastes best in as many colors as possible.
17. A five-year journal that has them write one line a day, so eventually they can look back on their ~journey~ every time a year passes and see where their past self was compared to their present.
18. A set of two Schitt's Creek-themed tea towels you can choose for them based on their favorite iconic quotes.
19. A sophisticated whiskey tumbler with a map of their favorite city etched on it.
20. A teensy mini waffle maker that will churn out adorably-sized, perfectly cooked-through waffles in mere minutes — the ultimate birthday treat.
21. A HyperChiller that will became their new summer BFF by turning hot coffee into glorious iced coffee in a literal minute — same goes for that rosé they were too lazy to put in the fridge.
22. A 25-pack of Baked By Melissa cupcakes for anyone whose favorite flavor is "all of them."
23. A corgi-shaped wine stopper that's almost as excited to them as they are to see their Pinot.
24. A spooky skull-shaped ice mold so anyone who sees their Instagram story of their birthday drink will look at the glass and immediately go, "Coooooool coool cool coolcoolcoolcool." *sweats*
25. A Baby Yoda puzzle your Mandalorian-marathoning friend will get a kick out of, since it essentially proves that the human heart is made up of 500 pieces, and those 500 pieces make up this tiny creature's perfect face.
26. A oversized sherpa blanket hoodie — not only is it one of the top 10 selling items in Shark Tank's history, but it's so comfortable that it's really only a matter of time before it becomes their only personality trait.
27. A set of three Jars By Dani cake jars s t a c k e d with layers of cake, frosting, and other goodies — plus, you can handpick the flavors based on what kind of cake vibe your friend is feeling.
28. The Drinking Animals Coloring Book, which will take them on a *delightful* journey of animals doing just that. Birthday Llamarita, anyone?
29. An air fryer they can use to cook a truly aggressive abundance of perfectly-crisped dishes using the power of rapid air technology, with *way* fewer ingredients than other cooking methods.
30. An attachable wine aerator so all their practical, affordable reds can taste like they're poured by a sommelier in the south of France who knows the rat from Ratatouille personally.
31. A floral "Caffeine & Quarantine" mug everyone will get a kick out of during their Sunday morning Zoom brunch calls.
32. A memory foam seat cushion for their tushy so effective at relieving pressure from their tailbone that they'll finally stop texting you 😢 emojis about the state of their WFH chair.
33. A personalized delivery of Winc wines your friend can choose for themselves, because honestly, our collective new favorite varietal of wine is the "pick it up from the doorstep" kind.
34. A sushi-making kit so they can finally take the fate of their rolls into their own hands, and get ~creative~ with whatever ingredients they have on hand.
35. Plus a pair of glowing lightsaber chopsticks to bring balance to the Force *and* to their sushi — whether they're repping the dark side or the light.
36. A copy of The Book of Myself: A Do-It-Yourself Autobiography in 201 Questions that's perfect for any stage of life, if your friend is already a hardcore journaler and wants to take it to the next level.
37. A ginormous donut beach blanket that is truly a Big Birthday Mood whether they're using it on the sand or lounging in the backyard.
38. A super bendy phone mount that'll come in handy whether they're Zooming with coworkers, TikTok dancing with friends, or doing socially distanced tricks or tutorials outside.
39. A game of The Office-themed Clue, which will send you hunting through the break room, the conference room, and Michael's office to figure out who killed Toby and how (my money's on "with a ream of paper," personally).
40. A cookie dough four-pack from Cookie DŌ bakery full of mouth-watering flavors they can take straight to the face without bothering to bake them.
41. A pancake puff kit complete with all the fixings to to make the blueberry version, which are basically little doughy pockets of fruit- and chocolate-filled pancake bliss.
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42. A "White Paw" dog toy you're legally obligated to gift to anyone who has uttered the words "No Laws When You're Drinking Claws" regardless of whether or not they have a dog.
43. A truly iconic tortilla blanket so the Chipotle fan in your life can achieve the greatest aspiration of them all: becoming a human burrito.
44. A ridiculously cute lavender-scented microwaveable stuffed animal that doubles as a heating pad, so the cuddlers in your life will have something extra cute to snuggle with in the winter.
45. A set of floppy disk coasters to give the techie in your life some retro "LOLs."
46. Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice: A Book-To-Table Classic, a hybrid book and cookbook that incorporates Martha Stewart's recipes based on the text within the actual story. The Austenite in your life is gonna lose their marbles (and hopefully cook for you).
Everyone in the group chat celebrating your friend's b-day like:
