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4. Some "Unicorn Blood" lipstick that'll have your friends — especially the ones who don't wear makeup — all 🤔.
5. A ~titillating~ e-book by Chuck Tingle like Pounded by Politics or Open Wide for the Handsome Sabertooth Dentist Who Is Also a Ghost.
10. Some faux-poop stain undies you should totally wear when you guys rent that cabin or beach house together for a weekend.
12. Speaking of hair, this Crafting With Cat Hair book will curry favor with your friend who's in a monogamous relationship with a lint roller.
13. Some completely unconvincing joke vomit for spurring a conversation about how you should probably stop eating like you're a trash can.
15. Some creepy-looking plastic foot covers for guarding them against gross floors at airport security.
19. An apocalypse prepper taxidermy mouse that's actually pretty cute but will still remind them of their humanity.
Now go forth and be weird and gross together.
Reviews have been edited for length and/or clarity.