We hope you love the products we recommend! Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.
1. A set of edible anuses in a range of Belgian chocolate hues.
2. An elephant poop matching game that's actually really pretty and helps a great cause!
3. Liquid ass spray for clearing a room. Quick.
4. Some "Unicorn Blood" lipstick that'll have your friends — especially the ones who don't wear makeup — all 🤔.
5. A ~titillating~ e-book by Chuck Tingle like Pounded by Politics or Open Wide for the Handsome Sabertooth Dentist Who Is Also a Ghost.
6. These mom jeans that put the worst part of legs on full display...knees!
7. A toilet coffee mug to serve as a reminder of the aftermath of guzzling your morning coffee.
8. Some tragically named chocolate-covered gummy bears.
9. A ~moist~ tee so passers-by will have to say the word out loud in their head when they see you.
10. Some faux-poop stain undies you should totally wear when you guys rent that cabin or beach house together for a weekend.
11. And a prank pube soap bar that you can ~let~ your friends use.
12. Speaking of hair, this Crafting With Cat Hair book will curry favor with your friend who's in a monogamous relationship with a lint roller.
13. Some completely unconvincing joke vomit for spurring a conversation about how you should probably stop eating like you're a trash can.
14. These wolf boxer briefs may elicit some laughter in the most uncomfortable of situations.
15. Some creepy-looking plastic foot covers for guarding them against gross floors at airport security.
16. This squirrel toilet tattoo that requires no pest control whatsoever.
18. This bottle of hand soap for making 'em shudder about any physical contact.
19. An apocalypse prepper taxidermy mouse that's actually pretty cute but will still remind them of their humanity.
20. An uncomfortably close Jeff Goldblum tee.
21. And a dozen penis-shaped lipsticks you can distribute throughout the friend group.
Now go forth and be weird and gross together.
Reviews have been edited for length and/or clarity.