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    29 Thoughts I Had While Watching The First Episode Of "The Ultimatum" On Netflix

    None of these couples have been together over three years nor are any of them over the age of 30...Your honor, I rest my case.

    🚨WARNING: Spoilers ahead, obvs.🚨

    Waddup? It is I, back at it again with yet another "I watched this so you don't have to" post. Everyone and their mother keep talking about this show called The Ultimatum, so I decided to give it a watch and see what all the hoopla was about!

    Now, I don't know much about this series, but I think it's about couples who are on the fence about getting married, so they date other people to see if their original partner is actually the one for them?

    So even though no one asked, I decided to watch the first episode of the series and give you my thoughts anyway:

    Before we dive in, here's the synopsis that Netflix gives for The Ultimatum:

    1. IS THAT NICK AND VANESSA LACHEY? Man, between this and Love is Blind, Nick and Ness are working hard for the money!

    2. Listen, Madlyn, is it? If you feel this way, THEN BREAK UP WITH YOUR MAN!

    Madlyn says that she could be happy with somebody else

    3. SIS! YOU'RE 24! YOU'RE STILL A CHILD!

    4. OK, what Randall is saying about why he isn't ready yo marry Shanique...makes sense? He doesn't wanna bring his personal debt into their marriage, which is...fair?

    Randall

    5. I already forgot his name, but if this is how you feel and it's not about your CURRENT GIRLFRIEND, then BREAK UP WITH HER!

    a contestant saying that if he met the perfect person he would get engaged tomorrow

    6. OK, the gist is that after spending time getting to know other people, they're gonna move in with a different partner for three weeks, and then move back in with the partner they came in with for three weeks, and see who's a better fit! I see no flaws there, she said sarcastically.

    the host saying they'll move in for a trial marriage

    7. GWORL! If you're already feelin' this type of way, then you should not be considering marriage, let alone be in a committed relationship:

    a contestant saying she's ready to explore someone else

    8. So far, no one has been, like, "I wanna spend the rest of my life with this person." It's always answers like this:

    someones says "i just a want a ring, and a i want a baby with you now"

    9. DO THESE PEOPLE KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO GET MARRIED???

    someone asking why their partner would buy them a car if they don't want to get married

    10. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

    11. Live reaction of me listening to all these children wanting marriage but none of them being "financially stable":

    someone holding themself in panic

    12. OK. HOLD UP. If someone wants kids and the other person doesn't...then there's no "compromise."

    someone saying the compromise to not having kids is having half a kid

    13. One person's full package is another person's "OK, me too, what's your point?"

    someone says that she cooks, cleans, and knows how to fuck

    14. So far, I'm 20 minutes in and everyone who wants to get married isn't giving nearly as good enough reasons for wanting that over the people who don't want to get married:

    someone saying they're not in a rush to get married

    15. RAE CAN'T EVEN TALK TO THIS MAN...YET SHE WANTS TO MARRY HIM???

    a producer asks Rae why she wants to marry Zay and she asks to skip the question

    16. So far, Randall and Zay are the ones making all of the sense.

    17. I mean...I see nothing wrong with moving in together before marriage???

    someone saying they want to move in when the other person wants to get engaged

    18. WHY IS THIS EVERY WOMAN ON THIS SHOW'S PERCEPTION OF MARRIAGE????

    a woman saying they'll cook and clean and do laundry

    19. OMG, OK the couples are now uncoupled and are dating around to see who they want to conduct the experiment with. What could possibly go wrong*?

    someone saying they're waking up single and it's weird

    20. This is the first time April has said anything worth a damn this entire episode:

    april saying she doesn't need someone's wallet she can take care of herslef

    21. Randall asked Madlyn how things are between her and Colby and her IMMEDIATE response was that he was annoying... Honey save all of us some time and just break up with that poor mans:

    22. Unpopular opinion, but I see nothing wrong this.

    a woman saying that she has a certain lifestyle that she wants to live

    23. OK, first April and now Lauren? These ladies are seeing something that Madlyn is clearly missing.

    24. The common through line I'm sensing is that all of these couples just needed to gain another perspective on their current situations, whether it's having kids or what it means to be financially stable. But YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO COME ON A DATING SHOW TO FIND THIS OUT! THERE ARE PAID PROFESSIONALS TO HELP YOU WITH THESE THINGS!!!

    someone saying they need to have deep conversations

    25. LMAO, Colby really said, "Madlyn WHO??"

    26. Jake's like, "April? I've never heard of her."

    Jake saying Rae is the perfect girl

    27. Jesus, take the wheel.

    Madlyn saying she hasn't been single since 17 years old

    28. OK, I hate to say it, but I'm kinda shipping Jake and Rae 😬

    29. AND THINGS JUST GOT AWK!

    OH ME, OH MY! Well, ya girl is officially invested. At this point I don't think ANYONE should go home with who they entered this experience with, but only time will tell! Catch me watching the rest of this series in a single setting with a bottle of red wine.