The Second Episode Of Clare's "Bach" Season Aired Last Night And It Was CRINGE, CRINGE, CRINGE

And that's what you missed on Bach!

Helloooo, Bach Nation! Welcome to your second installation of Bach in a Bite: The Official Bachelorette Recap:

Charlotte Gomez / BuzzFeed

In case you skipped the premiere of Clare's season last week, you can catch up in a jiffy here.

Now, this isn't meant to be a two-hour affair, so let's jump right in, shall we?

Clare is still full steam ahead on all systems Dale. Which, if you've seen him, I totally understand, but there are still nearly two dozen other men who are there to date her.

ABC

The first group date was an exploration of ~love languages~ — words of affirmation, physical touch, giving gifts, acts of service, and quality time. It was basically all the suitors spilling their heart out to Clare in front the rest of the suitors (aka strangers)...

ABC

...and this brings us to Cringe Moment™ number one, when all the suitors had to watch Clare and Dale rub up on one another.

ABC

Cringe Moment™ number two occurred when no one jumped up to "steal Clare away for a sec."

ABC

Dale ended up swooping in and stealing her away, leaving Bennet high and dry because he was the first to volunteer.

Cringe Moment™ number three occurred when Clare turned the dodgeball game into a STRIP DODGEBALL GAME, which got the blue team down to their birthday suits.

ABC

Not only were the men uncomfortable being naked in front of strangers, I was uncomfortable as a viewer??? Like, this would not be allowed on The Bachelor, so I don't think this is acceptable to have on The Bachelorette, but I digress.

If you could dodge a d*ck, you can dodge a ball.

20th Century Fox

Cringe Moment™ number four came in the form of Blake Moynes crashing the group date to spend time with Clare, swooping in for a kiss, and then getting rejected.

ABC

Talk about a sore loser!

And Cringe Moment™ number five was when Clare sent Brandon home because he wanted to get to know Clare in person and not believe everything on the internet.

ABC

When I tell you my jaw was on the floor.

There was no rose ceremony in this epiosde, so Brandon was the only one sent home. A fallen petal for this fallen suitor:

Walt Disney

Aaaannnnd, that's what you missed! Tune in next week — and the rest of the season — for the roses, the thorns, and everything in between!