Here Are The Reasons You Need To Add Pegging To Your Relationship

What if I told you you could easily have the most intense, toe-curling orgasm of your life? The only thing is, you have to put something up your butt.

Calling everyone who identifies as a man: Don’t let preconceived gender norms impede a good time. What if I told you you could easily have the most intense, toe-curling orgasm of your life? The only thing is, you have to put something up your butt.

Yes, you read that right. Pegging is what your sex life may need to spice it up again. But you may ask yourself questions like: What is pegging? How do we do it? Does it mean that I’m gay? Is it actually that pleasurable? Well, I'm here to tell you all you need to know.

Think of me as your sexual fairy godmother. I've done a lot, maybe too much, of what many would consider "unconventional sex acts." Knifeplay, BDSM, butt plugs, road head — the list goes on. But one of my absolute favorite acts is pegging. At first, I was hesitant like you probably are. But now, I'm shocked I didn't try it sooner!

Hey there, nice to meet you! My name is Delilah Gray. Not only am I your fairy godmother, but I am also a sexual wellness writer.

Delilah Gray

Truthfully, I write about anything I can, but sexual wellness is by far my favorite to talk about. Some quick facts about me are that I used to be a professional body painter, I'm a Leo, and I love talking about sex. Despite having a lot of people telling me to shrink myself down, I decided to write about sex every chance I could. Who doesn't want to be more well informed about sex?

From embarrassing vagina questions to discovery of new kinks, I like to write about them all. But for now, we need to talk about pegging and why it can save your sex life.

To start: What exactly is pegging?

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Pegging is when a woman anally penetrates her male partner with a strap-on dildo. The term was coined 20 years ago by sex advice columnist Dan Savage. This may seem surprising to some, but the truth is that anal play has been around forever. The earliest accounts go back to Northern Peru, in the Moche area, where hundreds of pottery depicting anal were discovered. After 800 AD, anal went on in Greece, France, and so on. While the depictions were female to female at first, it eventually moved toward female to male.

Within the past five years, pop culture has been slightly pushing the sex act into the mainstream. In an episode of the hit series Broad City, one of the leads, Abbi, has the opportunity to peg her longtime crush. And instead of the normal reaction you may expect, Abbi gives it a shot. She called her friend Ilana, who's absolutely elated for her friend. She even says, "All throughout college, I slept with a strap-on on, just in case the opportunity came along that you have handed to you on a silver platter." Now the question is: Are you Abbi, Ilana, or someone who still needs convincing?

Well why should I try pegging, you may ask?

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Great question. I thought that at first, too. For men, it unlocks a new, mind-boggling level of pleasure that they likely haven’t discovered before. You know how people born with a vagina have G-spots in their vaginas? Well, people assigned male at birth have their G-spots in their butts, more specifically their prostate. The P-spot, if you will.

So when a woman pegs her male partner, she’s hitting his P-spot over and over. This gives the male partner a whole new sense of pleasure that they never thought of before. It’s a pass for out-of-this-world orgasms.

On the other end, it’s all about the mental aspects of women. Julia Margo, COO at Hot Octopuss, explains that women get “psychologically aroused” from the power exchange. It’s like a whole new sense of dominance that normal positions don’t give. If you want to please both of yourselves even further, maybe invest in a double-sided dildo.

So how does one prepare for pegging?

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Well, first thing’s first, it takes time to prepare to do anal. Before you even think about preparing, you have to have the anal talk. Now what is that? It's the conversation you need to have beforehand.

Emma Schmidt, owner of Emma Schmidt & Associates and an AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists)–certified sex therapist, stated, “I think it’s good to always talk about if it’s something each individual is interested in trying. If the answer is 'yes,' then give it a go. Just because you try it doesn’t mean each individual will like it. So communicate afterward. [Some examples include] What was it like for each of you? What did you specifically like or not like about it? Sometimes it takes some practice. If it’s a no-go for one, be curious about why that is and then be respectful that they might not be interested in doing that act again. For the person who did like it, remain curious about what they liked about it.”

And then follow these five steps to make a great atmosphere and an even greater time:

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1. Get the lube and lube up either your finger or a butt plug. This will ease everyone’s body.

2. Create a sexy environment. Feel free to break out the wine, throw the rose petals on the bed, and do foreplay to your heart's content! Whatever gets you in the mood.

3. Give reassuring compliments, tell them you love them, and respect them.

4. Kiss them, caress them, and make them feel like a king. They’re more nervous than you are.

5. Inch your finger in slowly until you feel him relax.

Above all else, be patient. You may not do it the first time around, but eventually, you’ll do it. And it’ll be worth it.

Now, finding the P-spot is next. Like a woman’s G-spot, it’s a little deeper inside. In fact, some refer to the prostate as, penis (in front) bladder (above) and rectum (behind). The P-spot is a walnut-like lump that’s about five centimeters deep. Once you find it, gently apply pressure and keep open communication. If you’re both in the mood and ready to go, it’s time to peg.

So what was my own experience with pegging? Well, I'll tell you.

20th Century Fox

In one word, awesome. Summed up, I like to take on the more submissive role in the bedroom. But after seeing the iconic, sexy opening scene in Deadpool, it intrigued me. In the opening scenes, we see Vanessa and Deadpool have sex like crazy for months on end, specifically the holidays. During International Women's Day, Vanessa pegs Deadpool in a super-empowering-to-watch scene.

It looked like something so outside my comfort zone, but it seemed like just the thing my partner and I needed to add more spice to the bedroom. Luckily, my partner doesn’t care about gender norms and is super open-minded. So the prospect was intriguing to him as well. Another thing that was lucky was that it wasn’t too hard for us the first time around. I heard noises coming from him that I never heard before, which made me feel like a goddess. Like I made him have an amazing orgasm so easily, it was insane to me. Plus, the prospect of me dominating him in such a different way gave me so much confidence.

He had a mind-bending orgasm, and I felt like a badass. It was a win-win situation we never considered beforehand. So if you’re asking me, try it as soon as you’re ready. Whether you're a couple looking to spice things up or needing a confidence boost in the bedroom, pegging could be the answer.

Pegging is what your relationship needs because it gives a new sense of trust while keeping your sex life spicy. Now you know the secret to giving your male partner the most intense, toe-curling orgasm of his life. Get the lube, smooth jazz, and make an evening of it. Throw those gender norms away and get busy.