We recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to share with us their best sickie excuses. Here are the results.
1. The pretend concussion
"Got concussion playing football and I don't remember much of the day (Sunday) and having constant headaches. He gave me two days off. #winning"
Submitted by Steven Scuba McLean (Facebook)
2. The idiot friend
"I said I'd been up all night in the ER with my friend who was a total idiot and had sliced his hand open with a power tool. Got the day off to catch up on some sleep. Went in the next day with stories of how he just needed some stitches and was very lucky to have not done more damage. There was no power tool incident, I was just hungover."
Submitted by blythew2
3. Pet problems
"I once told my boss my cat was hit by a car and I had to take him to the vet. In truth, my cat was in perfect health and I was just hungover."
Submitted by bear21
4. The pretend allergy
"Had a friend call the office to say I had an allergic reaction to a bee sting; 'he was taken to hospital'. Placed a pocket knife on my calf and twisted it around a bit which gave it a mosquito bite-looking effect. Just as well 'cause they asked me if they could see it the next day when I went in."
Submitted by jasonj4f4fc1509
5. The fake fracture
"One time when I worked in retail I told my boss I fractured my toe…Not serious enough to need a cast or crutches but enough that I needed to 'stay off my feet' for a few days. Perfect."
Submitted by Jemima Skelley
6. Head lice hoax
"I said I had nits (head lice) once. I started scratching my head the day before. It worked like a charm."
Submitted by pinkdeedle
7. Artistic forgery
"When I was younger I drew around my eye with a red marker and my mom thought I had pink eye."
Submitted by jujubeanz
8. Metal mouth
"I went to the beach and my braces melted."
Submitted by bottomdroor
9. The invented injury
"I said I got my hand shut in a car door and broke my hand, then faked a broken hand for a month."
Submitted by amyj4df4fc4d2
10. Period pain
"My best excuse is severe period cramps. For male bosses, they don't ask anymore questions. Sickie complete."
Submitted by NimrodRomance
11. The "well thought-out" plan
"Obtain a picture of a car accident (I used my roommate's boyfriend's totaled car), call your boss, and tell them you got in to an accident with your friend about an hour away. Tell them you can send a picture at the scene of the accident. No questions asked. Home free baby."
Submitted by jtaylo79
12. The "ass" no questions
"In my experience the grosser and more personal you are with your excuse the less questions are asked. That's why I always go with ol' trusty anal bleeding."
Submitted by Brad Esposito
13. The dramatic phone call
"I had a hard ass boss who nitpicked any tardy or absenteeism despite my extreme punctuality and only taking two days off my one-year tenure. So one morning I woke up and had the stomach flu. I called my boss and got the third degree. I proceeded to vomit and blast ass on the phone until they relented."
Submitted by DingoIsMyNameO
14. Animal attack
"A sparrow flew in my window and pecked my locks so much it fused together and I couldn't get the key in the door. It also enlisted loads of his sparrow friends to stop me getting out of the windows.
This is true. It worked once."
Submitted by Niall Highgate (Facebook)
15. The backfire
"This one time I was at swim practice in middle school and desperately wanted to leave. I told my coach that I was throwing up and didn't feel well so I had to leave. Then I called my dad to pick me up and told him practice ended early. My dad showed up a half hour later after practice was over and every swimmer walked by me wondering why I was still there. Awkward."
Submitted by Alyssia Land (Facebook)
16. Practice makes perfect
"I coughed like crazy for two weeks and said that my head and throat hurt. My parents fell for it too."
Submitted by sophiet46da2357e
17. The sick list
"I used the following excuses to get out of sport at school all to great success:
My asthma is playing up.
I have a bad headache.
I have bruised my knee bone and I can't put too much strain on it or it will take longer to heal (I am prone to bruising my knee bones and am extremely clumsy!).
My ingrown toenail is infected.
Anything period-related including lower back pain."
Submitted by erinm115