1.
Hey, at least you didn't eat a whole bunch of goop:
2.
And at least you didn't get trapped by paint:
3.
And, hey, look at the bright side: this isn't your villain origin story:
4.
At least you didn't pull this out in class:
5.
And, hey, you never let your hair make a work of art:
6.
And, just remember, you're not a smurf:
7.
At least you didn't have to find this out the hard way:
8.
And your computer didn't go through a dang black hole:
10.
I mean, your soul didn't leave your body:
11.
You didn't enter a whole new level of closeness with your dentist:
12.
And, man, at least you still have your PORCH:
13.
Hey, at least your oven doesn't look like a scene from "The Shining":
14.
And, dude, at least you still have your grapes:
15.
And, hey, you never had to explain death to a classroom of children:
16.
I mean, you weren't attacked by a vengeful sea:
17.
And you didn't lose two precious loved ones in one day:
18.
And, hey, at least your M key works:
19.
At least you didn't drop your precious art:
20.
And you never had to have this interesting conversation with your mom:
21.
And, hey, at least this didn't happen to you:
22.
At least you didn't experience the extremely rare DOUBLE LOCK:
23.
And at least you weren't on the other end of this text:
24.
And, hey, you still have your book:
25.
Just remember: your clothes aren't frozen solid:
26.
Maribel isn't about to fire you:
27.
And a two year old didn't just destroy your savings:
28.
And, listen, if none of that made you feel better, just remember that at least you know how to spell: