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Posted on Dec 11, 2012

The 45 Most Important Lessons We Learned In 2012

2012 was inarguably the most important year in human history. Here's what we've learned.

1. Leonard DiCaprio is actually a housewife from the 1950s named Judy Zipper:

2. It's never a good a idea to put socks on a dog:

3. 850. That's how many:

4. The "Spiderman-swinging-out-of-your-butt" look is never a good look:

5. Honey Boo Boo's mom looks remarkably like Slimer from "Ghostbusters:"

6. That missing Dorito is always where you least expected:

7. There is literally nothing funnier than a dog getting hit in the crotch by a tennis ball:

8. Always be confident in your handshake:

9. There's no point in ever taking another roller coaster picture again, because this is the best:

10. It's never a good thing when Facebook thinks you're a knee:

11. The cat selfie is the new hot selfie:

12. Or maybe the sassy monkey selfie:

13. Or maybe the horse selfie:

14. Or maybe the lawn mower selfie:

15. The guy who named Jet Skis "Jet Skis" really messed up:

16. Adrian Brody is the white Snoop Dogg:

17. How to spell "cologne":

18. And "bottle":

19. A good way to stay in shape is to bench-press a goose:

20. If you're German and planning on cannonballing into a pool of ice, THINK AGAIN:

21. Robert Nelsen is one cool dude:

22. Donald Trump and Bill O'Reilly have never heard of the wave:

23. This is the right way to eat a Tic Tac:

24. You can be stylish, but chances are you're also illegal:

25. All cats just want to report the weather:

26. And all carrots just want to model:

27. Gary Busey is what's wrong with the country's education system:

28. Justin Bieber with a tiny face is equal parts hilarious and terrifying:

29. Dressing a horse as Harry Potter is ALWAYS a good idea:

30. The scientific name for dogs is "Poop Factory":

31. Somehow, somewhere, this picture of Sir Patrick Stewart happened:

32. Bears just want to say hi:

33. This is the best name you can give a death metal band:

34. Jon Stewart's pen-flip game is ON POINT:

35. Every time Vladimir Putin walks away from something, it looks like it's going to blow up:

36. Reading "Fifty Shades Of Grey" in public is also NEVER a good look:

37. Treadmills are a waste of time:

38. All dogs are terrified of Julia Roberts:

39. She is Rita:

40. Me, you, and everyone else will never be as cool as this man:

41. It's never a good idea to pick your nose during the Olympics:

42. Nic Cage looks great as a cat:

43. Dating sites can be terrifying:

44. Steve Carrell and Ryan Gosling definitely had a child together:

45. And seals should escape from the zoo more often. Like, every day:

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