It's time we talk about the most pressing issue facing our economy.
For too long, our politicians and leaders alike have been silent on it.
(Thanks, Obama.)
BUT we are here today to take a stand.
RECEIPTS ARE TOO DAMN LONG.
WHO NEEDS A RECEIPT THIS BIG?
It doesn't matter if you're only buying one thing:
Is this supposed to be kindling for a fire?
What would our Founding Fathers say?
Are we supposed to use them for scarves for the Long Winter?
RECEIPTS SHOULD NOT BE SCARVES.
RECEIPTS SHOULD NOT BE THE G.D. DEAD SEA SCROLLS.
RECEIPTS SHOULD NOT FLOW FREELY IN THE WIND!!
TO WRAP IT UP...
No one deserves a receipt this long for A GODDAMN ICED TEA. No one.
And a dog should be NEVER, EVER be long as a receipt.
