1.
"Derrick has 25 pineapples. If he gives away two of them, how many does he have?"
2.
"Coach J buys 15 12-pound bags of cheese puffs for Coach P. How many ounces is that?"
3.
"Jamie finds 200 'perfectly good' strawberries in the garbage. How many will be left after she eats two-thirds of them?"
4.
"Andrea has five bags of tennis balls, each containing 30 balls. How many does she have overall?"
5.
"Sven Breathmint Jr. comes across a van filled with bananas. If he eats 15 bunches, how many are left?"
6.
If Gloria Estefen M.D. lends her friend 75% of these bottles of juice, how much is left?"
7.
"Bunsen Purell has 78 tomatoes. If he eats at a pace of one tomato per hour, how long will it be before he eats all of them?"
8.
"A literal baby boy awakens to find the room filled with fruit. How does he dig himself out?"
9.
"Jesús has never thrown a party before and thinks it's OK to buy 400 bottles of soda. How many bottles will he have left over?"
10.
"A mysterious man is planning mysterious things with Coke bottles. How much Coke does the mysterious man need for three people?"
11.
"Rabbi Dan has a trunk full of watermelons. What?"
12.
"If your dumbass stepdad buys 12 watermelons and that dumbass decides that he wants 11 instead, how many does his dumb ass need to get rid of?"
14.
"Math McGuire just bought a ton of bread. How many slices until he feels like himself again?"
15.
"You wake up one morning to find 25 bananas and 13 pineapples in the place where your lover once lay. Who...did this?"
16.
And finally: "Peter J. Bong has 35 watermelons. Does anyone really need that many?"
