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You cancel plans you had with a friend. Whose responsibility is it to make new plans?
Comedy Central
No one's. Plans will happen when they happen.Mine. If I'm the one to cancel plans, I should be the one to make new ones.Theirs. They wanted to hang out in the first place. -
You go to the bathroom only to see this. What do you do?
Via apartmenttherapy.com
Replace it immediately: I wouldn't wish this hell on anyone.Leave it be — I bought the last roll. NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY.Do nothing and spend the rest of the day brooding in silent contempt for your roommate. -
What best describes the way you ride an escalator?
I move to the right if I'm going to stand, and to the left if I'm going to walk.I stand wherever I want — it's an escalator, not a chessboard. -
How close do you stand to the person in front of you when you're in line?
Right behind them. Whatever gets me closer to the front.About 3 feet away.About 10 feet away. -
When do you use the turn signals on your car?
Via carponents.com
When I need to — when there's a line of cars in front or behind me.Not too often. People can tell where I'm headed.Pretty much all the time. -
You're sick on a workday. Do you go in?
Via redhookcentralschools.org
Absolutely. I've got work to do.No way. Can't risk coughing all over the place.I might go in for a little, but if it gets too bad, I'm out of there. -
You are male and enter a public bathroom to use the urinal. There is a row of urinals and one is taken. Where do you stand?
Via strikegently.com
As far away as I possibly can.I saddle up next to him — time for some good ol'-fashioned urinal conversation. My favorite.I wait for him to finish, silently watching from the sink. -
You're grocery shopping and decide you don't need an item. What do you do with it?
Via cavemancircus.com
Put it back wherever — someone will take care of it. That's their job.Bring it back to where I found it.I buy it anyway — I don't even remember what aisle I got it in. -
You're opening a bag of chips in a crowded, quiet place. What's your method?
Via foodbeast.com
I slowly open the bag, trying not to make much noise.As fast as I can. It's like ripping off a Band-Aid, one and done.I save the chips for a less awkward room. -
The elevator doors open and it's full of people. What do you do?
Stand in front of the elevator to make sure I get on.Push my way to the front — I'm making sure I get on this elevator.Step to the side and let those already inside off before getting on. -
When is it OK to use the high beams on your car?
Via auto-gadgets.co.nz
When I'm the only person on the road.Whenever. If we weren't supposed to use them at will, we wouldn't have them.I don't know, I always forget to turn them off. -
You go to a party with Friend A and run into Friend B, who has never met Friend A. What do you do?
Immediately start catching up with the friend I ran into — IT'S BEEN SO LONG!Immediately introduce both of my friends to each other.Do nothing... They'll meet if they want to meet. -
Is "K" OK?
"K" is never OK. NEVER.Yeah, it's fine and it's a legitimate response. Stop being so sensitive.Are you serious? Why have you even read this far? Click the first one if you're not a sociopath.
How Much Of An Asshole Are You?
Guess what, sucker! You suck! That's why I called you "sucker", sucker! You're the reason we can't have nice things, sucker. Seriously though - come on. We're all stuck on this planet together, you might as well use your turn signals.
Hey, now! Not too shabby. You've got some work to do. You're not necessarily a full blown, raging asshole but you're fast on your way there. Your teetering right over that hole, the asshole. Just try to be a little more proactive in making other's lives easier and not just your own.
Thank you. The world needs more people like you. Have you ever considered running for president or any other sort of public office? Hell, I'd love you as my comptroller. Your whole campaign platform could just be "I replace the toilet paper roll, all day, every day. Because I care." That'd get my vote. I would falsify dead relatives' voting records so I could vote a few more times, too. Look out for a lot of 140 year old supporters. YOU (THE NOT ASSHOLE) IN 2016!
