1.
Meticulously arranging your Myspace Top 8 to cause drama:
2.
Changing your profile pic to something like this:
3.
Convincing people the iPhone was worth the money by showing them that one app where it looks like you're drinking a beer:
And that one app where it looked like you had a lighter:
4.
Arguing passionately over whether pirates could beat ninjas in a fight:
5.
Just posting the most ridiculous shit on Facebook:
6.
Thinking Chuck Norris jokes were the be-all and end-all of comedy:
7.
Thinking that typing like this was the coolest:
8.
Wearing shoes big enough to house a family of five:
9.
Talking about Michael Phelps's diet like six times a day:
10.
Taking pictures with that one awful Photo Booth filter:
11.
Owning that one white MacBook that got dirty after like a week:
12.
Taking weird pictures of your feet or hands because you all had matching bracelets or shoes:
13.
Harassing everyone on Facebook with like 14 "LOST PHONE, NEED NUMBERS" groups:
14.
And like 17 FarmVille requests:
15.
Watching every single Diet Coke and Mentos video on the internet:
16.
Taking dramatic photos of Converse:
17.
And writing down dramatic lyrics all over your shoes:
18.
Insisting that BlackBerry was way better than the iPhone because of Brick Breaker and BBM:
19.
Watching full-length movies that cost tens of millions of dollars to make on an iPod with a 2-inch screen:
20.
Changing your age to 99 years old on Myspace:
21.
Faking people out with your voice mail message:
22.
Texting incognito with your phone in your pocket:
23.
Watching movies on portable DVD players, god rest their soul:
24.
Constantly quoting that one Bill O'Reilly video wherein he swears:
25.
Celebrating International Talk Like a Pirate Day:
26.
Or changing your language to "pirate" on Facebook:
27.
Updating Facebook from a tiny lil' phone:
28.
Taking selfies with a big-ass digital camera:
29.
Getting obsessed with Doppelgänger Week on Facebook:
30.
Carrying both an iPod and a cellphone AT THE SAME DAMN TIME:
31.
Uploading 400 pictures to Facebook at once in an album with a title from a Dave Matthews Band song:
32.
Spending money on ringback tones. Sweet, sweet ringback tones:
