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As someone who didn't really have a great college experience, I do harbor some regrets over what I could have done differently to have a better time. I was curious to see if others shared the same sentiment, so I recently asked millennials of the BuzzFeed Community to share the regrets they had from their college days. Here are some of the most enlightening responses:
Warning: This post contains mentions of anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation.
1. "I went to a small Southern school that had a big Greek life. I came from the North and knew nothing about it. My school didn't rush until spring, so I made some great friends that first semester organically. We all ended up in the same sorority. Even if we didn't rush, we could have just hung out for free without having all the Greek life nonsense (they literally make you sing and dance — so oddly cultlike). To each their own, but I wish I'd skipped over Greek life."
2. "I regret not choosing the major I really wanted and wasting so much time because of it. I was afraid to chase after the dream I've always had because I allowed people to convince me it wasn't even an option."
3. "I regret taking a 'break' after I got my AA degree. I planned to take a year off but didn't end up going back and finishing my BS until seven years later. By then, the tuition had almost doubled. People warned me that once you stop, it's hard to go back, but I didn't listen."
4. "I just wish I'd been more prepared. The transition might be slightly better these days, but high school did not prepare me for college at all. I had no idea what I wanted to do, so I just pursued an 'easy' major that would get me a degree. It would have been nice to have some guidance leading up to college so that I was better equipped to pick a course trajectory that I actually enjoyed and could actually use once I graduated. Also, using tanning beds and smoking cigarettes. College makes you feel invincible even though you aren't. I am still living with the aftereffects of poor health choices during college, and always will."
5. "What do I regret? That it took 23 years to get a four-year degree. College costs are freakin' outrageous."
6. "Honestly? My only real regret is that I didn't break up with my high school boyfriend before going to college. We'd been dating for about two years when it was time to apply to college, so we decided to go to the same university. At first it was nice having a built-in support system, but in hindsight, it absolutely stifled the crap out of my development. We ended up dating throughout college — mostly out of a sense of obligation, I think — before breaking up a few years after graduation. I wish I hadn't spent my early 20s trying to hang on to a relationship that started when my dating pool was basically the 10 guys I knew from band. After we broke up, I started exploring who I actually was as an individual, and man, I wish I hadn't waited so long."
7. "I regret making partying my priority rather than focusing on my education. I used to say my major was partying and my minor was men. SMH."
8. "I regret not taking advantage of free events, amenities, and activities. A free gym membership, pool access, camping gear rentals, and more were extremely underutilized. Also, I wish I'd participated in a sport or joined more clubs that interested me earlier on. It's free and easy to try something new when you have nothing to lose except a little time."
9. "I regret majoring in English with a focus on secondary education. It was my mom's dream to be a teacher, and since she never got to realize that dream, she pushed it onto me, and now I'm stuck with a degree in a field I have little to no interest in. I enjoyed psychology classes much more, but for fear of upsetting my mom, I felt too afraid to change my major. I have no desire to become a full-time teacher and don't know what to do with my life now."
10. "My biggest regret is going straight to a four-year university. I wish I had taken time at community college to explore, learn about myself, and grow up a little more. I just did what I thought was expected of me. I cannot stress how miserable I was. IF you go to college, do it because you want to. And if you don't want to finish, DON'T. It's your life, so do what you want with it."
11. "I wish I'd been more involved in campus life! I joined a couple of clubs, but I didn't participate in many 'outside' activities or try for a leadership position. I wish I'd networked with more of my peers and the faculty — it would have made asking for recommendation letters so much easier. I wish I'd pursued more internships, research opportunities, and showcases."
12. "Going to college. When I went, it wasn't a choice — you went to college or trade school or you had no future. Everything is so different now. It's been really difficult for my family to grasp that not only do I not need my degree — other than it being a footnote on my résumé — but I have to change jobs every five years or so to move up in my profession. If I could go back, I'd definitely do trade school and base it on what I could make financially rather than on what my passions are. Unfortunately, passion doesn't equate to a decent salary."
13. "Sleeping around. Gonna jump right in and say that I don't hold any judgment, nor am I slut-shaming here, and I absolutely respect the right of consenting adults to do what they want with other consenting adults. But it took me years to realize that I was having sex with men for all the wrong reasons. I'd have drunken one-night stands, and I think I was looking for validation, affection, and love at the end of the day, and often didn't want to actually have sex with the men I did have sex with. I'd often have unprotected sex, and while I somehow never contracted anything, I recognize now how dumb that was. Again, no shame, because I've had casual sex I absolutely didn't regret too, but I just recognize that in college, I did it so often for the wrong reasons. I really had to figure out how to respect myself and look internally for validation."
—Liz, 32, Missouri
14. "I regret not understanding financial aid and student loans before taking them out. I had scholarships and money saved, but I still ended up $150,000 in debt. I'm steadily paying it off, but I wish I had understood exactly what I was signing up for. It's made postgraduation life much more challenging knowing that a huge payment is due every month."
15. "I wish I'd lived on campus. Everyone had to live on campus the first year, but after that, the 'cool kids' lived off campus in apartments or rented a house with their friends. I (mistakenly) identified myself as a cool kid, and I couldn't wait to live in my first off-campus apartment. It was a fun and positive experience, but I look back and think about how much easier and cheaper it would've been just to live on campus. Maybe it's a 'Grass isn't always greener' situation, and living on campus wouldn't have been better, but I'll never know. I guess I just remember being in a rush during my college days, where I couldn't wait to be a 'grown-up,' and living on my own was part of that. I wish I could go back and tell myself to enjoy the experience for what it was — crappy dorms and all."
16. "I had multiple full-ride scholarships to in-state schools, but my parents were too 'afraid' to send me out into the 'real world.' So instead, I stayed in town (although I went to an offshoot of a very famous Southeastern Conference school). I watched my friends grow as people while I doubled down on my studies because I just wanted to get the hell out of my city. I ended up rebelling and moved to Texas, but I was still able to finish college in three and a half years. I was so burnt out, though, that I didn't go on to grad school. I don't know if I'll ever forgive my parents or myself for that."
17. "I should have taken a year off between high school and college. My parents demanded I go to college immediately, so I settled on a local university because I didn't want to be away from home (I'm an introvert). I was still 17 when I started my first semester. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and I also had very little worldly experience to make such a big decision. To top it off, I got married three years into my studies, and it made life an even bigger challenge. Trying to complete my courses, work at least 20 hours a week, and start a life and home with someone all at the same time was not something my anxiety-riddled self could do very well."
18. "Although I was a strong student and got into a top-tier public university, my social and emotional development was terribly stunted due to growing up in an alcoholic home. I had debilitating depression and low self-esteem that prevented me from engaging with my peers. In fact, it caused me to have a very cynical and antisocial demeanor, which only made my isolation worse. I regret that I wasn't able to address my mental illness until 10 years later and never had that happy-go-lucky attitude that I observed in so many of the students around me. I've learned not to blame myself because I didn't have any guidance in the matter, and addressing my trauma will be a lifelong process. My advice is to recognize early the signs of trauma in your family of origin that may impact you when you begin adulthood. Utilize the mental health services that are offered to students to get a handle on your emotional needs or start your healing journey."
19. "I should have gone to a small liberal arts college. Since I'm an introvert, the large flagship state school was probably not the best choice for me. I also regret living off campus and spending more time online than interacting with other college-age students. I have exactly zero friends from undergrad whom I didn't already know from high school."
—Jack, 40, Alabama
20. "Not putting myself out there more when it came to dating. I'm more introverted and reserved, so I found it very difficult to ask out people I had an interest in due to fear of rejection. I was friends with a lot of girls I would have loved to date, but I was too fearful that asking them out would ruin the friendship. In the end, when I did end up dating someone, those friendships kind of went away or were put on the back burner anyway, so those fears were unfounded. It all worked out. I'm married to the person I needed to be with; I just regret not getting to experience more when I was single."
21. "My main regret is that I went to university with no idea that I was autistic. My final year was SO hard because I was supposed to be independently working on my dissertation, and I struggled without the structure of daily classes and regular assignments. I did terribly on that dissertation compared with all my other grades, and I can't help but feel that if I'd known about my neurodivergence back then instead of thinking I was just a useless piece of shit, I could have asked for help or learned how to manage things better on my own."
22. "I really wish I'd studied abroad. I thought I couldn't afford it, but after working in higher education for more than two decades, I came to understand that there's a lot of grant money out there that can fund study abroad programs. Yes, you can travel after graduating, but it isn't the same. Studying in another country alongside your peers is a special experience. You get to develop deep bonds with other students, as well as gain some independence and cultural competence, and it also looks great on a résumé."
23. "I wish I hadn't been so dead set on only one career path. I beelined for my bachelor's degree so that I could get a doctorate in my field without really considering what else I was good at, besides academics and research. So when the doctorate didn't work out, I was stuck with a BA that wasn't getting me the jobs I wanted. Now I'm getting a second BA so I can switch fields into something that's more applied while also being enjoyable."
—John, 30, Washington
24. "I didn't know what I wanted to do for a career when I got accepted into college. I was pressured into a major I didn't want to pursue by my family, who intentionally lowballed me. I loved my school and the academics, but I hated my major. It's been 10 years, and I still regret it. Thankfully, unless your degree is specialized, it can be pretty flexible and can get you a variety of jobs unrelated to your major. Regardless, it's still annoying to pivot. I wish I'd been pushed to do something more challenging. Most of all, I wish I'd gotten better grades in high school so that I could've gone to a better college. It wasn't that I went to a bad school or got horrible grades, but once I was able to distance myself from my dysfunctional family, I immediately got straight A's. I mourn for my lost potential. At that time, I didn't have the proper support and my life was very unstable. I could have done better."
25. "I went to an inner-city high school where I had amazing grades and won a full-ride scholarship. When I got to college, I was so unprepared. In the early 2000s, there wasn't much support with selecting classes, so I ended up signing up for classes that were way too advanced in my first few semesters. I got terrible grades; I had to retake a statistics class, only to fail again. I got kicked out and lost my scholarship. I had to do two years of community college before transferring back. When I went to reenroll, I was asked why I didn't just drop the classes I was failing. If I'd done that, it would've kept my GPA high enough to remain in school. Imagine my devastation. I could've kept my scholarship and avoided all this trouble had I only filled out a form!"
"It all worked out for the best, though. I changed my field of study and now have my dream job. I try to encourage all of the kids I know not to be afraid to advocate for themselves and to avoid my mistakes."
26. "Two things: First, I wish I hadn't been such a snob when it came to applying to and choosing a college. I was obsessed with going to a 'university' as opposed to a 'college,' for some reason. Then I had a decent amount of debt after graduation despite receiving a scholarship that covered half of my tuition for all four years, which I could have avoided by going to a less expensive school. Second, I was a commuter student all four years, which I feel negatively impacted my social situation. While I wouldn't change anything that happened because I love where I'm at in life today, creating stronger friendships by living with friends in the community would have only enhanced my college experience."
27. Lastly: "I have three regrets. The first is that I didn't start looking for a co-op as soon as I started. I majored in engineering, and that made a huge impact on my ability to find a job. They told me that finding a co-op could wait, but do it after the first year. I regret not exploring clubs and activities outside of those I'd done in high school. I spent a ton of time doing dance and theater, and I even took up equestrian again, but I didn't try anything outside of those comfort zones. The last thing I regret is not taking photos. I was going through severe depression and was suicidal for the first half of college, so I took no photos. But now I remember basically none of my college experience."
"Take photos or keep a journal so that you can remember what your life was like in your college years, even if you're struggling. I came out of school and found a large community of online friends thanks to some new interests I picked up, so if anything, don't be afraid to explore new things."
—Anonymous
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
If you're a millennial, what do you regret from your college days? What advice would you give to someone who's about to go to college? Let me know in the comments, or you can submit anonymously using this form!
Dial 988 in the US to reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Other international suicide helplines can be found at befrienders.org. The Trevor Project, which provides help and suicide-prevention resources for LGBTQ youth, is 1-866-488-7386.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline is 1-888-950-6264 (NAMI) and provides information and referral services; GoodTherapy.org is an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy.