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Are You A Basic Witch?

Brunch or Blasphemy?

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  1. 1. What do you like to do on Saturdays?

    Brunch with BFF's
    David Roth / Via Getty
    Brunch with BFF's

    Mimosas!

    David Roth / Via Getty
    The Dark Congregation
    The Dark Congregation

    Each and every Seventh Day, I convene with my coven to smear ourselves with foul ointments and pay homage to Greznok.

  2. 2. What's your favorite type of candle?

    Scented Candles
    Image Source / Via Getty
    Scented Candles

    Lavender. Mmmm.

    Image Source / Via Getty
    A foul candle made from the fat of a stolen infant.
    A foul candle made from the fat of a stolen infant.

    And it shall be lit whilst incanting dark and unholy celebrations of the Demon Lord.

  3. 3. What's on your Pinterest page?

    Food, Vacations, Wedding Stuff
    Amy_Dunne / Via Pinterest
    Food, Vacations, Wedding Stuff
    Amy_Dunne / Via Pinterest
    I know not of this 'Pinterest'.
    I know not of this 'Pinterest'.

    Yet its name has the sound of a torturous punishment designed by those who would choose to stifle to true power of Greznok. I would gladly suffer the pain of one thousand Pinterests in exchange for one hour of servitude beneath the Dark One.

  4. 4. Are you jealous of your friend's love-life?

    Yes.
    Jamie Grill / Via Getty
    Yes.

    I met Tim first, and she totally...ugh... I just think I understand him better.

    Jamie Grill / Via Getty
    No!
    No!

    Envy has no place in the sisterhood of witches, for we are all wives of the Demon Lord. All his incubi are but He in material form, and we share this fornication with dutiful zeal.

  5. 5. What will your wedding be like?

    Beautiful.
    Tom Merton / Via Getty
    Beautiful.

    So. Many. Flowers.

    Tom Merton / Via Getty
    Blasphemous
    Blasphemous

    For that is the wish of Greznok, and the loathsome sin we manifest will be reflected in our dark matrimony. No holy water will pass our flesh on this day.

  6. 6. What's your favorite television show?

    Spelling Television / Via i.cdn.turner.com
    "Charmed"
    Spelling Television / Via i.cdn.turner.com
    I understand not. What is tele-vision?
    I understand not. What is tele-vision?

    Some sort of chimerical sorcery? My Sisters need help at any means, for the Church's noose tightens upon our abominable commune. Teach us this tele-vision before our day of Tribulation!

  7. 7. Who's your favorite royalty?

    Kate Middleton
    Nick Warner / Via commons.wikimedia.org
    Kate Middleton

    OMG. So pretty.

    Nick Warner / Via commons.wikimedia.org
    Greznok
    Greznok

    He is the king of all that thrives in the shadow, and my witchcraft is for his glory only.

  8. 8. Your favorite juice?

    Kale, spinach, pineapple, wheatgrass, and celery.
    Tara Moore / Via Getty
    Kale, spinach, pineapple, wheatgrass, and celery.

    So detoxifying and delicious!

    Tara Moore / Via Getty
    Black Moss Ointment
    Black Moss Ointment

    Extracted from the blood of toads and mixed with waters from the foul swamps of cursed forests.

  9. 9. Who is your inspiration?

    Gwyneth Paltrow
    FilmMagic / Via Getty
    Gwyneth Paltrow

    <3 Goop

    FilmMagic / Via Getty
    Jane Fletwin of Aberdeen, 1583
    Jane Fletwin of Aberdeen, 1583

    For she spat in the eyes of her Inquisitors and even when brought up towards their flaming pyre, laughed and praised the Dark One. No redemption for this heretic.

  10. 10. What book do you like better?

    Basically anything by Nicholas Sparks
    Warner Bros. / Via Amazon
    Basically anything by Nicholas Sparks

    Or "Eat Pray Love"

    Warner Bros. / Via Amazon
    "The Seculon"

    The ancient tome penned by warlock Noveho Doch'mano. So complete are its blasphemous rites, that in 1286, Pope Honorius IV declared any utterance of its existence a crime punishable by beheading.

  11. 11. What's your favorite spice?

    Pumpkin Spice
    Starbucks / Via Facebook
    Pumpkin Spice

    Obsessed with lattes.

    Starbucks / Via Facebook
    Hemlock, Belladona, Hogweed
    Hemlock, Belladona, Hogweed

    Any herb that causes the death of those who swallow it, for these are spices of blasphemy.

  12. 12. What are you dressing as for Halloween?

    Sexy witch, obvs.
    Artranq / Via Getty
    Sexy witch, obvs.
    Artranq / Via Getty
    I shall take the form of a she-wolf.
    I shall take the form of a she-wolf.

    Or possibly a goat. In this manner, I shall escape my accusers.

Are You A Basic Witch?

You got: You're a Basic Witch

You basic, girl. Just normal. Not really that loathsome or foul. Or unique. Sorry.

You're a Basic Witch
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You got: You're a Bad Witch

You are blasphemous, loathsome, and evil! Heretical spawn of all that is foul! But at least you're not basic.

You're a Bad Witch
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