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20 BuzzFeed Articles It's Probably OK That I Never Finished

Quit while you're ahead.

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Today is my last day at BuzzFeed.

After nearly two years, 282 articles, and a veritable ocean of coffee, I am now as much a human as I am a meme-grinding LOL machine. It's been more fun than you can imagine, but tomorrow I will move onward to the next level of this video game called Life. Before I shut this computer down one last time, let me leave you with a look at all the BuzzFeed articles I never finished (or even started) because I fear the dreaded FAIL badge more than death itself.
Loryn Brantz / Via BuzzFeed

After nearly two years, 282 articles, and a veritable ocean of coffee, I am now as much a human as I am a meme-grinding LOL machine. It's been more fun than you can imagine, but tomorrow I will move onward to the next level of this video game called Life. Before I shut this computer down one last time, let me leave you with a look at all the BuzzFeed articles I never finished (or even started) because I fear the dreaded FAIL badge more than death itself.

1. "7 Cereal Box Mascots Who Are So Much Creepier When They're Realistic"

General Mills / Trimark Pictures
WIkipedia / Kellogg's

2. "Can We Guess Your Zodiac Based On Which Douchebag You Hate The Most?"

Dan Meth / Via BuzzFeed

3. "Imagine If Rappers Liked Sideways Instead Of Scarface"

Fox Searchlight Pictures
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4. "Here's A Sneak Preview Of The Next 15 Seasons Of True Detective"

HBO / Lucasfilm / Paramount / Wavebreakmedia Ltd / Via Thinkstock

5. "What's The Deal With Car Rental Keys?"

Dennis Yang / Via Flickr: dennis

6. "I Tried Eating All The Junk Food I Hadn't Eaten In 20 Years And Here's What Happened"

7. "16 Nintendo Games That Never Existed (But What Does It Mean To Exist?)"

Wikipedia / Nintendo
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8. "9 Inventions I Should Try Pitching On Shark Tank"

9. "14 Kranny Memes To Get Your Morning Yazzing"

Dan Meth / Via BuzzFeed

10. "I Made A Mashup of Creed And The Eagles And It Turned Out Amazing"

Geffen / Wind-up

11. "Imagine If Mr. Men Books Were Drawn By Todd McFarlane"

Price Stern Sloan
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Price Stern Sloan / Dan Meth

12. "Upload Your Selfie And I'll Build A Monument To You"

submitted by http://www.buzzfeed.com/hannak
Panama7 / Thinkstock

13. "18 Life Hacks For Pathetic Bachelors"

Dan Meth / Via BuzzFeed

14. "7 Cartoon Characters Who Liked To Eat Sandwiches A Lot"

Archie Comics / King Features / Hannah Barbera
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15. "I Went To Trenton, New Jersey, And Here's What Happened."

Dan Meth / Via BuzzFeed

16. "You Millennials Are Always Talking About Clueless But You've Never Even Seen Those Aerosmith Videos"

Geffen
Geffen

17. "29 Tips To Help Get You Through A Boring Cocktail Party"

Find the person who wants to talk about aliens.
Dan Meth / Via BuzzFeed

Find the person who wants to talk about aliens.

18. "17 Insane Public Meltdown Videos On Youtube That I Watch Every Couple Months And I Don't Know Why"

Bill Mac / youtube / Via rightthisminute.com
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19. "87 Drawings Of Eastbound & Down Characters Because That Show Was Awesome"

Dan Meth

20. "9 Trippy Vegetables"

Bonchan / Getty Images

GOODBYE, EVERYONE! I HAD A BLAST! Follow my future work on Instagram and also check out my ongoing graphic novel project "The Regolith."