1. When your period is late:
me: *a virgin period: *is late me:
2. When you have a rude awakening:
I just saw a swedish fish in my bed out of the corner of my eye and thought it was a period stain and now my heart is literally pounding bye
3. When you realize tampon commercials are ridic:
I just want to jump as high as the girls in the tampon commercials
4. When you got someone else's back:
If a girls asks me for a tampon and I don't have one for her, best believe we bouta search the entire vicinity together to find her a tampon
5. When you have to improvise:
putting my overheating macbook charger on my stomach to help period cramps because I’m a modern woman
6. When your raw emotions get the better of you:
pms
7. When you decide, "You know what? Fuck it."
I'm too lazy to put a tampon in so I'm just making new period panties
8. When your period inadvertently saves the day:
Send prayers & good wishes for the guy who tried to pick my pocket on the luas, took out a tampon, got mortified & tried to put it back.
9. When that moment of panic sets in:
me(on my period): omg this is the worst, most inconvenient thing ever i never want to experience this again me(period is late): well...fuck.
10. When you're a totally different person on your period:
Hidden camera footage of the exact moment my period starts
11. When your period makes you cry at just about anything...
burst into tears at end of cardio class cuz I was overwhelmed by the strength & beauty of the other women so yes ok I may have my period
12. ...seriously:
I know I'm on my period because I found a yogurt in the back of my fridge I didn't know I had and started crying
13. When you want to know the truth:
I see lots of tampon brands claiming to be best for being active, but which brand is best for curling up on the couch in fetal position?
14. When you want to take advantage of your feels:
Me: Let's see Wonder Woman! Him: We already did. Me: I know but I'm on my period now so it'll be even better this time! Him: Wait, what?
15. When you're just being honest:
A good name for a feminist tampon company would be Gravitas
16. When you immediately change your mind:
Me: I love babies so much, can't wait to have a mini me *period is late by 2 hours* me:
17. When your period gets cinematic (in your head):
me: *gets a cramp* me: *dramatically stares into the distance* me: menses is coming
18. When you want to get a little poetic about it all:
On a scale from 1 to 10 my PMS has reached a Lady MacBeth.
19. When you have this realization:
My period lasts longer than a cabinet position in the White House.
20. When you wanna get a little ~scientific~ about your period:
The human body is composed of 70% water, or before your period 90%
21. And finally, when your period emotions unexpectedly get the better of you at a really awkward time:
Womanhood is great until it's days before your period and you burst into tears watching an old man paying for a bag of oranges with dimes.