Quiz

BuzzFeed Staff

Who Is Your Celebrity Arch Nemesis?

While you were taking this quiz, Gwyneth was enjoying a nice slice of Jailbird Cake in your honor and leaving Beyoncé gossipy voicemails about YOU. She cannot be trusted and will backstab you with a $500 butcher knife featured on Goop.com the first chance she gets.

Gwyneth Paltrow

Kim Kardashian stands for everything you're against. You always try your best to avoid her, but she's literally everywhere breaking things you love the most, like the Internet. You couldn't care less to keep up with her, but this accidental member of the illuminati will make herself relevant in your life.

Kim Kardashian

Because you didn't buy "Lotus" OR "Bionic" on iTunes, Xtina is out to get you. She has a spray tan ready to drip all over you and there really isn't much you can do about it. It would probably be best if you quit everything you're doing and prayed for Godney Spears' help and assistance at this time.

Christina Aguilera

Watch out-- Matt Lauer is out to ruin your life. He will Ann Curry you from your job then interview you live on-air and ask about false substance abuse rumors. Where in the world is Matt Lauer? STABBING YOU IN THE BACK.

Matt Lauer

Anne acts like she doesn't have a problem with you, when in reality, she performs an Oscar-worthy monologue in her bathroom mirror about making your life "les miserable" after every bubble bath she takes. She's so shady she wouldn't even thank you in her award speech after portraying you in a biopic about your life.

Anne Jacqueline Hathaway

Katy is always throwing shade at you with her friend Sam Smith, but that's just because you're living the teenage dream she wishes she could live in. Watch out for those cupcake boobs-- they shoot whipped cream and you're their next target.

Katy Perry

There is no stopping Shia LaBeouf from getting "Even Stevens" with you. Be careful when you go to bed tonight-- you might wake up days later in an LA art gallery as part of an exhibit.

Shia LeBeouf

Yikes! Madonna thinks you're the reductive version of her and she'll stop at nothing to suck the youth out of you so she can live another 100 years. You have four minutes to save yourself.

Madonna

Even though you're in no way romantically linked with Selena Gomez, Bieber has a dozen eggs and he's ready to throw them at your house. He's been working out and bleached his hair so keep an eye out for an oversized troll doll with tattoos lurking in your neighborhood.

Who Is Your Celebrity Arch Nemesis?

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