Don't Freak Out, But People Are Saying Nostradamus Predicted Donald Trump
Fuckity fuck fuck fuck.
Donald Trump is poised to win the Republican presidential nomination, and might actually become president. That's something most experts said would never, ever happen.
But there was one guy who did correctly predict the rise of Trump: famous French psychic Nostradamus, who lived 500 years ago. At least, that's according to some people on the internet.
The most popular theory online? Trump is the "third Antichrist" predicted by Nostradamus, after Napoleon and Hitler. This is kind of a big deal, because the third Antichrist will trigger the end of the world.
According to Christian tradition, the Antichrist will be hailed as a new messiah at first — then turn out to be a supervillain. Some believe that's a perfect description of Trump.
And when Trump got into a huge public feud with Pope Francis back in February, it looked even more likely. Throwing shade at His Holiness? Textbook Antichrist move.
One ~very reliable~ online poll found that 80% of people lowkey believe Trump is the Antichrist.
A couple of folks started to lose their shit. But you shouldn't, because even by the standards of nutty internet theories this one's hard to swallow.
First, everyone from Saddam Hussein to President Obama has been ID'd as the third Antichrist. Second, according to lore, the Antichrist will be named "Mabus". Which doesn't sound anything like Trump.
In fact, if we're looking for somebody called Mabus, the current U.S. Secretary of the Navy is a dude whose name is literally Ray Mabus. Way, way more likely bet than Trump IMHO.
OK, so Trump probably isn't the Antichrist — but that's not the end of the story. Earlier this year, Rob Beschizza from Boing Boing noticed that Nostradamus included a bunch of ominous references to a certain "trumpet" who causes a bunch of mayhem.
And this is when things really start getting all Da Vinci Code. Because the old word for trumpet is...wait for it...trump.
What's more, the bits that refer to this "trumpet" are eerily reminiscent of Donald J. Trump, some say. Like these two lines, which warn of a demagogue who makes false claims and does a bunch of crazy things, like messing with "Byzantium."
Not convinced? How about this verse, which says the "trumpet" will be extremely divisive and will break an important treaty. Trump has promised to tear up NAFTA, the Trans-Pacific Partnership, and the Paris Climate Agreement.
In this verse, Nostradamus predicts that Trump will be elected president but then get impeached, according to Rob Beschizza. It also says he will expel his enemies — and Trump has famously promised to deport millions of immigrants.
There's also an interesting bit about the "trumpet" making use of a wall. As someone on Reddit points out, the border wall with Mexico is one of Trump's signature policies.
Side note: Here's another spooky twist. According to a UK tabloid, since Trump's campaign began, people from Morocco to the Netherlands have been hearing mysterious ~trumpet-like~ noises with no logical explanation.
There's a few other verses of Nostradamus people are investigating for links to Trump. Someone on the Boing Boing forums found a possible reference to one of his supporters, ex-Ku Klux Klan leader David Duke.
And over at the Huffington Post, comedy writer Andy McDonald found a verse about an angry orator who has a major problem with women.
Meanwhile on YouTube, they're investigating a verse about a "great Royal one of gold" who is "augmented by brass". Personally I couldn't see much of a link to Trump there — that is, until I heard the name of Trump's running mate.
But if there's one color everybody associates with Trump, it's not gold but reddish-orange. It's the color of Trump's perma-tanned face, his iconic cap, his beloved "fire-engine colored" ties, and since the year 2000 has also been the symbol of the Republican Party.
Trump's lobster-colored hue is one of his most identifiable traits, providing endless fodder for late-night comedians. So if Nostradamus really did predict Trump, you'd think he'd probably mention it, right?
And wouldn't you know it? He did. This verse suggests that a powerful red guy who's associated with the word "great" will murder widows and virgins, commit countless evil deeds, and paralyze the world with fear.
But hey, don't freak out or anything.
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So, what do you think? Did Nostradamus predict Donald Trump?
vote votesYes and it's freaking me out.
vote votesNope. Don't be so gullible.
vote votesI don't know, but either way some crazy fucking shit is about to go down.