Don't Freak Out, But People Are Saying Nostradamus Predicted Donald Trump
Fuckity fuck fuck fuck.
Donald Trump is poised to win the Republican presidential nomination, and might actually become president. That's something most experts said would never, ever happen.
But there was one guy who did correctly predict the rise of Trump: famous French psychic Nostradamus, who lived 500 years ago. At least, that's according to some people on the internet.
The most popular theory online? Trump is the "third Antichrist" predicted by Nostradamus, after Napoleon and Hitler. This is kind of a big deal, because the third Antichrist will trigger the end of the world.
Worst. Pokémon. Ever.
Some began wondering if Trump might be the Antichrist back before the last U.S. election, when he was briefly a potential candidate. This time round, quite a few folks are reaching the same conclusion.
Is Donald Trump the antichrist Nostradamus prophecied ?
Donald Trump may well be the Third Antichrist spoken of by Nostradamus ...you don't know. Either way, he is entertainment gold
Donald Trump, the third antichrist? Those who know Nostradamus, will tremble in fear
i am a firm believer that donald trump is the third coming of the antichrist
my conservative christian father just said that donald trump is the third antichrist
According to Christian tradition, the Antichrist will be hailed as a new messiah at first — then turn out to be a supervillain. Some believe that's a perfect description of Trump.
And when Trump got into a huge public feud with Pope Francis back in February, it looked even more likely. Throwing shade at His Holiness? Textbook Antichrist move.
One ~very reliable~ online poll found that 80% of people lowkey believe Trump is the Antichrist.
A couple of folks started to lose their shit. But you shouldn't, because even by the standards of nutty internet theories this one's hard to swallow.
First, everyone from Saddam Hussein to President Obama has been ID'd as the third Antichrist. Second, according to lore, the Antichrist will be named "Mabus". Which doesn't sound anything like Trump.
Even if you anagram the hell out of it, you get "Saumb". The fuck is Saumb?
In fact, if we're looking for somebody called Mabus, the current U.S. Secretary of the Navy is a dude whose name is literally Ray Mabus. Way, way more likely bet than Trump IMHO.
OK, so Trump probably isn't the Antichrist — but that's not the end of the story. Earlier this year, Rob Beschizza from Boing Boing noticed that Nostradamus included a bunch of ominous references to a certain "trumpet" who causes a bunch of mayhem.
And this is when things really start getting all Da Vinci Code. Because the old word for trumpet is...wait for it...trump.
What's more, the bits that refer to this "trumpet" are eerily reminiscent of Donald J. Trump, some say. Like these two lines, which warn of a demagogue who makes false claims and does a bunch of crazy things, like messing with "Byzantium."
Byzantium is the name of the ancient city that eventually became Istanbul, in Turkey. Earlier this month, Trump took an aggressive posture towards the country, which is now in chaos following a failed coup.
Not convinced? How about this verse, which says the "trumpet" will be extremely divisive and will break an important treaty. Trump has promised to tear up NAFTA, the Trans-Pacific Partnership, and the Paris Climate Agreement.
There's also some stuff about blood, milk, and honey in there. Maybe he gets punched at a Dairy Queen? IDK, let me know in the comments.
In this verse, Nostradamus predicts that Trump will be elected president but then get impeached, according to Rob Beschizza. It also says he will expel his enemies — and Trump has famously promised to deport millions of immigrants.
There's also an interesting bit about the "trumpet" making use of a wall. As someone on Reddit points out, the border wall with Mexico is one of Trump's signature policies.
In Nostradamus's time, Mexico wasn't a country but the great Aztec city-state of Tenochtitlan ("republic of the great city"). Does this suggest Mexico will resist Trump's draconian immigration policy ("great severity"), but ultimately be forced to accept the border wall ("the city will repent")?
Side note: Here's another spooky twist. According to a UK tabloid, since Trump's campaign began, people from Morocco to the Netherlands have been hearing mysterious ~trumpet-like~ noises with no logical explanation.
There's a few other verses of Nostradamus people are investigating for links to Trump. Someone on the Boing Boing forums found a possible reference to one of his supporters, ex-Ku Klux Klan leader David Duke.
Trump initially refused to disavow the former Grand Wizard ("Father duke"), before changing his mind and rejecting his support ("his don denying him").
And over at the Huffington Post, comedy writer Andy McDonald found a verse about an angry orator who has a major problem with women.
OK, so it does say the guy has a shaven head. But according to rumor, Trump underwent scalp surgery, which involves shaving skin off the head. The last line says the orator will do something unspeakable with fire and women's blood — and Trump is reportedly fascinated with menstrual blood, infamously referring to Fox anchor Megyn Kelly as bleeding "out of her wherever".
Meanwhile on YouTube, they're investigating a verse about a "great Royal one of gold" who is "augmented by brass". Personally I couldn't see much of a link to Trump there — that is, until I heard the name of Trump's running mate.
Let's break it down. Trump is a distant relative of King Richard III, which sort of explains the royal thing.
One of gold could refer to Trump's love of adorning his buildings with gold, as noted by this YouTuber. Heck, the Trump Hotel is literally made of 24-carat gold. It's also the color of his fabled hairdo.
What about the brass that assists the one of gold? Well, the ancient Romans left behind vast quantities of low-value brass coins called dupondii. The closest English translation? Pennies — or as they say in Britain, pence. And what's the name of Trump's VP candidate pick? Indiana Governor Mike Pence.
Next, another reference to that broken agreement we saw earlier. And finally, two lines suggesting the U.S. will get embroiled in another bloody foreign war, which isn't exactly a stretch.
But if there's one color everybody associates with Trump, it's not gold but reddish-orange. It's the color of Trump's perma-tanned face, his iconic cap, his beloved "fire-engine colored" ties, and since the year 2000 has also been the symbol of the Republican Party.
Trump's lobster-colored hue is one of his most identifiable traits, providing endless fodder for late-night comedians. So if Nostradamus really did predict Trump, you'd think he'd probably mention it, right?
And wouldn't you know it? He did. This verse suggests that a powerful red guy who's associated with the word "great" will murder widows and virgins, commit countless evil deeds, and paralyze the world with fear.
But hey, don't freak out or anything.
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vote votesYes and it's freaking me out.
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vote votesNope. Don't be so gullible.
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vote votesI don't know, but either way some crazy fucking shit is about to go down.
