"Everybody knows what it feels like to stand in the shower and try to catch water in your hands. You don’t know why you do it, especially when you know how it works: You’re not a bowl, you’re a sieve made of waterproof flesh. It was never going to stay. You watch it pool and leak, pool and leak, until you get frustrated and you let your hands fall and decide it was stupid anyway.
That’s me and friendship.
I could blame my childhood: I was born an Air Force brat, and moved every three years or less until I was 11, managing to switch schools three more times even after my family settled down. On the one hand, it gave me a sense of independence and a passion for finding my own path, but on the other hand, it gave me an insurmountable need to regularly start over, and what a therapist once called “abandonment issues.” That’s a term that rarely gets applied to the people doing the leaving, but here I am, mourning my own exits."
Read the whole thing here.