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1. A chafing relief powder gel because enjoying the breeze for a few hours in a pair of shorts or a skirt shouldn't result in a days-long angry red rash.
2. An adjustable cap with a magnetic closure meant to work *with* instead of *against* your ponytails and buns. This way, you don't have to spend 10 minutes adjusting buckles or straps and trying not to pull out any hair in the process.
3. A pack of Miracle-Gro water storing crystals that'll help your plants (both indoor and outdoor!) survive heat waves, droughts, and downpours whether they're caused by nature or your inability to keep track of their watering schedule.
4. A Green Chef subscription so you don't have to leave the comfort of your A/C for groceries. The company works with farmers to source sustainable, certified organic ingredients that make it simple for you to eat balanced meals. Whether you prefer keto- and paleo-friendly dishes or vegan and vegetarian meals, you have plenty of options.
5. A sun visor clip where you can stow your shades so you don't get into an accident as you pull out of Wendy's with a Frosty in hand and the blinding sun overhead.
6. A temperature-regulating 100% cotton blanket because you simply *cannot* sleep if you're exposed to the elements (read: monsters and shadowy figures), but will also sweat up a storm with your regular ol' comforter.
7. A three-in-one stainless-steel bottle cooler that'll keep your Reisling niceeee and chilly because apparently, it's a "faux pas" (read those as air quotes, plz) to add ice to your wine.
8. A pressure-activated cooling pad so your pupper can safely join you outside on particularly balmy evenings. It requires no refrigeration whatsoever and it'll keep them 5 to10 degrees cooler!
9. A two-pack of draft blockers because *your* name is on the utility bill and you'll be damned if you pay even a penny for any cool air that Houdinis its way out of the house.
10. A pack of coconut water powder you can easily take with you on camping (or glamping 💅) trips. Just add some H20 and you'll get a nice lil' jolt of essential electrolytes.
11. A melting gel face cleanser ready to massage away past-its-prime makeup and sweat after a day spent outside.
12. A set of ~wine sticks~ so mama (you) never has to stray too far from baby (your glass of rosé).
13. A pair of Sanuk flip flops with a cushy "yoga mat" sole that proves extremely comfortable and nearly indestructible. Just take it from the below reviewer who wore their last pair for seven whole years!!
14. A DHC makeup primer you can apply before foundation or wear alone to absorb two of summer's most wicked characters: excess oil and sweat.
15. A set of oil-blotting charcoal sheets that will clean up your T-zone so well, you won't have to spend one more second feeling like a grease-slicked duckling on a Dawn dish soap commercial.
16. A pineapple corer so you can easily dice up your own fruit at home and stop spending $6 on the itty bitty pre-cut containers that have been sitting on the supermarket shelf for who knows how long.
17. A cooling weighted blanket because summer may assuage your SAD (seasonal affective disorder) symptoms, but your anxiety could care less about the sun.
18. A hands-free dog leash so you can keep your mitts free for the important stuff: carrying your cold brew and steadying your phone so you can record all the cute things your pup does on you walk.
19. A bottle of Tend Skin solution if you're prone to ingrown hairs, razor bumps, or even redness after waxing. Just slather on a thin layer of this after your hair removal sesh and your sensitive skin will seriously thank you.
20. A cooling towel you can use while hiking, fishing, tanning — you name it. Soak it in some cold water, wring it out, and toss it around your neck so you *don't* end up looking like a freshly boiled lobster.
21. A bug bite suction tool because it's this or scratching at it until it bleeds and that is not the way, my friends. Don't let the lil' suckers get in the way of your backyard BBQs — you've waited three seasons for this!
22. A corn peeler so you can meal prep five pounds of Chipotle corn salsa. The copycat recipes are out there and they're good, people!!
23. A wildly popular hair serum with aloe and argan oil which work together like a dynamic superhero duo to hydrate dry, brittle hair and leave it nice and shiny like you're one of the Jennifers on a hair commercial. (You pick if you wanna be Aniston, Lopez, or Garner.)
24. A set of extra-large ice cube trays so even plain old glasses of tap water will feel like a fancy $15 cocktail.
25. A portable fan that'll come in handy during hammock hangs or that last five minutes before you need to get out the door and your makeup is already melting off.
26. A set of (frozen) vegan "hot dogs" so whether you're vegetarian or soy-free or gluten-free, you can attend summer parties and eat a real meal instead of being relegated to the veggie platter.
27. A moisturizing, sweat-resistant SPF 30 sunscreen sure to shield your skin from sun damage and prevent hyperpigmentation and fine lines. Plus, it won't leave you looking like Casper the Friendly Ghost right as you're gearing up to spend more time outdoors.
28. An easy-to-use paw cleaner because your ideal summer doesn't involve mopping and re-mopping your floors every day and no matter how nicely you ask him, Sparky *will not* stop playing in that mud puddle he discovered out back.
29. A cherry pitter so you can make your very own Shirley Temples (virgin or otherwise) alllll summer long!
30. A pair of cool and silky pillowcases that will prevent you from flipping and re-flipping your pillow in a desperate bid to chase the cool side.
31. A 15-piece scrunchie set with polka dot, floral, and animal-print detailing that is cute as a button. If you're anything like me, the neck sweats creep in the second temps hit 60 and above and these babies will help get your hair up and out of the danger zone.
32. A set of silicone glasses grips so if you get the dreaded ear sweats, your glasses won't tumble off of your face and onto what I'm assuming is the most inopportune surface imaginable — like a steamy NYC sidewalk or a sketchy public toilet.
33. A watermelon cuber that makes it way easier to slice up a melon but — perhaps more importantly — would be a fun tool to show off at parties.
34. A mirrored skincare fridge to store all of your serums, jade rollers, and emergency sleeves of Reese's peanut butter cups. Home is where your secret sugar stash is, after all.
35. And pack of six ice pop molds so you can make a fruit-forward version of that SpongeBob pop (you know — the one with gumball eyes) that you used to get from the ice cream truck.
The new you, ready to take on everything summer sends your way.
